Do you think a woman should follow her husband anywhere?

Question

Even if she has a great job and the kids are in fantastic schools? What if It really is just to see If she will?

He hasn't found a job, neither of us has a job there. If we moved we would be relocating to a another state. His only reason for wanting to move is that his ex lives here. We are in a metropolitan area of 4 million people and we have never in 4 years ran into her. My Family is here and my job, we have a home and friends and strong community ties. Two of my five kids have special needs and are receiving amazing support at there current school. He wants us to just pick up and leave.

Answer 1

Unless it is to Idaho

Answer 2

It would depend on why he is wanting to move. If it is for a better paying job, that will make for a better life for the whole family. Then yes I think she should, if she really loves him. It should of course be talked over first, he shouldn't just decide this on his own. I would also research the area he wants to move to before making a decision. Make sure the schools are as good, if not better then what the kids are in now. And that the area in general is a good place to live.
But I can say that I would follow my husband any where, because I love him.

Answer 3

It will always depend on the situation and the strength of the marriage itself but I know that I would probably follow my husband, if he had a job offer he couldn't refuse. His happiness is important to me, and the career I've chosen has positions available in multiple locations (which is not always the case) so it would be stressful but worth it for if it meant my husband would be bettering his career/position.

The most important thing to me is being a happy healthy family and being together. Adjusting to a new environment can be stressful for the whole family but can also be a great experience when handled correctly and positively by all parties involved.

Answer 4

He is not being honest with you, about why he wants to move.

My husband took a job in China without my consent! I bet you won't have to move that far. I stayed 5 months and came back home (with my handicapped child) soon hubby followed. However he now had to take a job 3 states away. He flies home every weekend . Personally he could forget about coming home at all, just a long as the check gets deposited in the account. I will be surprised if we make it pass next February.

One only follows their husband if they truly love them and a husband would never ask such a thing unless he didn't love his wife.

Answer 5

My answer is based on assuming that your husband needs to transfer as required by his job.

I'd say yes if family is your priority over your job. Why do I say this? Rarely does a marriage survive when the husband and wife are working in different location. Either one of you will find comfort with somebody else if your spouse is not around.
I mean, if your husband is someplace else, who will be there for him when he gets home from work? It will be terribly lonely unless he finds somebody to take care of his needs. And since your husband is not there, it will be easy for you to find comfort in another man's affection

The husband is the natural provider of the family. The wife is the nurturer. The keeper of the home.You can find a new job wherever you go, even if it's lower. A broken family however will be very hard to fix and affairs will be hard to forgive.

I hope you think about this really hard. Stand by your man.

EDITED DUE TO ADD'L INFO OF ASKER:
Discuss this with your man. You both might want to go to a counselor. His ex might be contacting him secretly and he wants to get away from temptation.

Answer 6

The majority of Filipino or Asian women I know do this. It is just how they are raised. They are taught to respect the man of the house.

But since I am American of Filipino and Hawaiian decent (no fooling! My Mom is a native Hawaiian) I've grown accustomed to being independent and believe that it is not necessary for a woman to follow her husband like a loyal pet if she has a wonderful career and great children.

But it would put a damper on the relationship if both husband and wife lived separate lives and different cities with different jobs. It is not like the 50's anymore were married people stay with each other because of fidelity.

Answer 7

It sounds like there is more to why he wants to move because that is about the dumbest excuse I have ever heard of. So what if his ex lives there...in 4 million people the odds aren't good that he will see her especially if he stays away from places he knows she is apt to be. Plus who cares if he sees her he can ignore her if he does or something like that.

Now on the other hand if she is stalking him or has made threats or something like that it might be prudent to move away before anyone gets hurt.

Answer 8

I would not leave all you have going on here for nothing there. That is not a good enough reason to move. Why is he worrying about the ex now?

Answer 9

No.
I wouldn't just blindly follow him anywhere. You are married there for it should be a decision that satisfies both parities. Not to mention the kids too. Any big decision like that should be mutually satisfying to both Husband and wife. That would be the fairest and most respectful thing to do.

Answer 10

Not unless she was a mongrel. No. If he finds a job somewhere else that needs uprooting the whole family - the pros and cons need to be discussed by the whole family - kids included because it will affect them greatly more than the parents. any resolution should be acceptable to everyone, including the kids.

Answer 11

In this case I don't think it is such a good idea. If the kids are doing good in school and she is making decent money, stay put. Let him go to his new job by himself and have him come home on weekends.