My husband and I have been separated for 6 mos. He had an affair w/my neighbor for 2 1/2 years and although I tried very hard to forgive it and put it out of my head, I just couldn't do it. I haven't filied for divorce and I still have feelings for him, but I am not sure if it is really love or just the longing for the 12 years we spent together. He has been trying very hard to get me back and I finally agreed to counseling (I was in therapy on my own after I found out about the affair, but he wouldn't go for fear of being blamed for all that went wrong in our marriage). I just found his login info for eharmony and although we have counseling scheduled for tomorrow evening, he is still asking and answering questions to the women he is "matched" with...even this afternoon. Am I a complete idiot for wasting my time and money on counseling with him? I am doing fine on my own but have 4 children that we are co-raising.
2007-12-05 14:45:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not taking the therapy seriously. He has lied and cheated before. It is not going to change. Who knows why he wants you back -- -maybe child support for 4 kids has him scared.
Stop snooping and move on with your life and find a man that you can trust.
Good for you taking the high road with the kids and co-raising.
Good luck.
2007-12-05 14:53:10 · answer #1 · answered by George 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You just have to remember you have 4 children and they now come first because he turned his back. I would bring it up the next time you have counseling because that will hit him head on and he has to give you an answer. He cant have the best of both worlds!! But a man doesnt love you if he is still looking in other places....he cheated once and he is most likely going to do it again, look at the situation as a whole!
2007-12-05 14:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by MeMe07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would like to commend you for trying to work things out for the sake of the children.
You definitely should move on. Like you said you're doing fine by yourself. You don't need the stress.
I can relate to what you're going through, because I had to deal with the same thing when I found out my ex wife cheating on me with my brother for two years.
It is going to take some time before the feelings you have for him fade way.
At the end of the day the kids are more important than anything.
Take care.
2007-12-05 15:01:20 · answer #3 · answered by eugenefedrick@att.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely something you need to ask in couseling. Wouldn't hurt to try, at least you can feel like you did everything in your power to keep your family together. If he is not really committed to to reconciling the family and admitting and apologizing for his past actions, then you will probably realize this in counseling.
2007-12-05 14:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him if he is serious, then has to stop what he is doing. Because it isn't right. If he really wants to make it work, then you need to be is number 1 priority. And he needs to remove him self from that site, immediately. And stop all contact with other women. If he cant do that, then walk away.
2007-12-05 14:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by cris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.
Bring this up with the counselor, just before you leave the office......
2007-12-05 15:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a player, and nothing more!! Can't the counselor see thru his crap?
2007-12-05 14:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by happywjc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well based on my knowledge i thpught seperated couples spoused to date other people?
during this time if you had doubts about the relationship, you had to date other people to see whats out there, and if you want to continue with this marriage!!!
2007-12-05 14:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by girliebutstrong 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋