Sister in law problems.?

Question

ok well. from the begining she NEVER liked me. she was always tell my husband (then boyfriend) that i was always cheating on him. Now she did this for almost 2 years. She stopped when we got married. Now we have a baby in the picture. We went over her house and she kept telling me how i should care for my daughter, and she also put some a&d ointment on my daughter without asking me. ( i was in another room) It really bothered me. I never gave ANYTHING to her kids without making sure it was okay with her. I have ointment for my daughter and i would have put it on her IF she had a rash, but she clearly didnt. Anyways, my husband told her before to not tell me how to parent and she got all pissy. Now both of his sisters hate me and have threatened me because i tell both of them they arent going to have a relationship w/ my daughter until they can respect me and my wishes. Also, they just started up again saying they seen me with another man and i am cheating. Am i wrong? What should I do

haha thats pretty funny actually. i am in a different state. he just wants to move back home. I miss my family but i aint dealin with his they all have their own problems. I just dont want them taking care of my daughter, if they cannot respect the way i take care of her. They have begun to threaten me. His sister was worrying about how i take care of my daughter when the whole time i was at her house her 10 mo. old son was sitting in a wet diaper for atleat 2 hours. I mean when they are that big, you can see if their diaper is FULL and when its not or very little. Now who has the real parenting issues?

i choose to not bother with them. it will be earier than trying. they are always starting problems. And, honestly, my husband doesnt defend me. I cried my eyes out to him once before because he couldnt and thats the only time he did. You know, before i would try to ignore the comments, but now that they make me feel like a bad mom, i cant.

Answer 1

Ignore them-they are rude

Answer 2

Ok mom, first of all, you are the one in charge, they are not. Nobody should be touching your child unless you give your permission and yes, that does extend to family. Nobody but the mother knows what your baby might be allergic to, can handle, better than you. Even well meaning siblings, in laws need to be gently/ firmly, put in thier place from the beginning. It sets the tone for how you want to be treated, not just as a new parent, but as a person. People need to know you have boundries. You expect them to respect yours. As for the two trying to create havoc between you and your husband? Only you and your husband know best what is really going on between you. If you are both honest with each other, respect each other, you both know by actions, what you do together what is really going on and lies, or innuendo will be ignored. If not, you have other issues than diaper rash to worry about. The key here is to keep your selves honest, real, be respectful of eachother, treat your husband as you wish to be treated and vice, versa, and you both should be fine. Inlaws can be a pain, especially if they are use to running the roost, thier siblings, having to fight another female for thier brother's attention. The best revenge is to kill them with kindness, take them out of that place, and bring them back to respecting you. It will take time, be patient. Dont yell at your spouse, rather, sit him down casually, and talk this over, voicing your concerns. Your mate will know who is lying, if you are not getting the respect you need. He will then, and should back you.

Answer 3

You sound like me when I was 18. (Only your first sentence) And then you ruined it and flipped to sounding like my sister-in-law.
Do NOT and i repeat DO NOT use your child as a weapon. Kid's have a way of turning things back on you when they grow up. Picture this in 15 years..."You're such a witch! You never let me get to know Daddy's family!!!" Always make sure to think about how things will come back to haunt you.
Who cares if sil put cream on your daughter's backside, at least she changed the diaper.
And last but not least I'll share my secret with you: Here honey take our daughter to see your side of the family. You have a much better time seeing them without me and I have a much better time NOT seeing them! Worked for me for 24 years. Only thing is that the coward won't tell the family why I didn't come. He always comes up with wonderful excuses. But I love him anyway and I didn't marry his family!!!

Answer 4

First thing I think is that you shouldn't threaten to keep your daughter from them, that will only make it worse. Then, I would explain to them that you are very happy with your husband and you are a family and are going to be that way for a very long time. That being said, you don't appreciate the accusations you've been hearing. They are now family and I would ask them for a truce. You don't want any hard feelings and you don't want to make things awkward or difficult for your husband. As far as thier advice about your daughter, honestly, I think you should just say thanks or like, "huh, I never thought of it that way" or "I've heard that before, interesting", and leave it at that. Dealing with family you have married into is always tricky when there are issues because you don't want to strain your husbands relationship with any of his family or make him feel like he has to choose between you and them. Good luck.

Answer 5

u need to be brave n never step down. mean all what u say. once u stop going there and having anythg to do with them, they'll see that u mean business. so be ready 4 more accusations cos those in laws are going to rain more ok. so get ya man by ur side but never ***** to him abt them. let them go off ya mind. focus on ur child. tthats ur happiness. and never never ever let them come between u n ya man. cos that will break ya relationship.
cos they can influence him whenever u guys have a fight to leave u. people are mean and they can use this to break u guys.continue to love him and make sure they see that so they are more angry.haha.after that they'll get tired n u will win.

Answer 6

sounds like you all need to grow up

Don't use your child as a bargaining tool. Be nice to me or else..............come on................

EDIT:
copy and paste from email from asker:
Subject: one of your comments

Message: i never use my daughter as a bargining tool. i dont like thoes people thats just how it is. My husband doesnt have a handle on this parenting thing and i dont trust them to take care of my daughter because they dont respect the ways i take care of her and will do whatever behind my back and i dont like that. My husband doesnt have balls to say anything to him and im sorry when it's just me defending my self against his family what do u expect. so dont give me any answers unless you understand the whole question. you're just rude.

KEEP IT ON THE BOARDS and don't ask a question on a public forum if you don't want answers from everyone. I am not rude. I am honest. I have had problems with my in laws in the past and I've NEVER tried to with-hold my children from them.........because of them seeing that I wanted what was best for my children and my love for them, things worked out for the best!!!..............just because the answer isn't what you want to hear, doesn't mean that it is wrong.

Answer 7

That's horrible. I don't blame you at all for not letting them have anything to do with your daughter until they smarten up, good call! As long as your husband doesn't believe them and sticks up for you, then stick to your guns, ignore them and try not to waste your energy on them, they are not worth it. They sound like quite the biotches! Wow! I sure hope the mother and father-in-law are better than that. Good luck.

Answer 8

Move to a different state. With your husband and daughter, of course.

Answer 9

Girl, you married the man, not the entire family. If they don't like you, will it change the way you love your man? As long as your husband defends YOU, protects YOU and your child against their nosey ignoramus brain-dead attitudes - then all's well.

Answer 10

You, your husband, and your child are a family. It really sucks but you need to deal with them for your husbands sake, unless it gets ridiculous.. You are totally right though