my mother was like mi first best friend ever. i saw horror films with her, told her everything about me, my life and the way i look at things. mi dad doesn't live with us and i'm an only child, so our relationship is quite close. but recently it's been different. school's become more stressful and my social life is rocky. but mi mother's no help either. when we get close, she starts to get too comfortable and starts to play-hit me. then she'd get all bitchy saying how i can't handle pain. then when i try to ask her something personal that she doesnt like, she changes the subject or interups me and THEN changes the subject. i get all pissed and we fight. i say something like 'i hate you!' and she'd leave me alone. but when we get back together and everything is cool, she says 'do you really love me? i've done so much for you...' and she reminds me of what i said before. then we get into ANOTHER fight. how can i deal with a mother whose emotions are worse than mine, the 13 year old girl?
2007-12-05 14:29:33 · 8 answers · asked by Luvin Usagi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
p.s. i love mi mom, i really do. but somehow i (unwillinglly by the way) get suicide thoughts and it's kind of based on mi mom. i've tried to make a mother/daughter relationship, yet she's too clingy and i can't keep pushing her away. and i don't have anyone to tell my secrets to because all mi other friends are just interested on talking about their own problems. plus mi dad doesnt pay child support so mi mom works twice as hard so she can pay for all the expenses, but the problem is, she expects me to pity her. i help her around the house, but i dont do pity. i just want to clear out mi relationship with mi mom. but it's so difficult and i just end up in tears...
2007-12-05 14:40:20 · update #1
You need to make real friends and have a mother/daughter relationship with your mother.
Good luck.
2007-12-05 14:32:25 · answer #1 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can be clinging to her own childhood a little too much now. She would be about the age to start wanting something different than life has dealt her and if she misses her youth and sees you enjoying her, she might be hanging a little close. It would be nice if she could grow up and try to be the adult, but she may or may not. But I think if you keep telling her you are serious and you need an answer from her because she is your MOTHER, she might be able to surface from her child-like behaviors long enough to give you the help of advice you need. You need to try and not get all angry and fight like a kids with her, though, she's an adult.
You also need to expect that as you are growing up, your life is really dramatic and you need to struggle for some measure of sanity. You will fight with her - you are under stress and hormones and becoming more independent. She will miss your child-side and can fight for more control just as you want less control from her. But you can just avoid her when she is acting childish - that will let her know that if she wants to hang with you, it needs to be as your mother. So don't fight - just walk away and go to your room when she is upsetting you. Calm down and read a book or something while she cools off. Then you can try to talk normally later on.
2007-12-05 22:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Amy R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents are people too and they can make mistakes. Your mother is wrong to treat you as a friend. Not that you cannot have a close relationship with your mother, but parents need to set boundaries and mothers are mothers first, friend second.
As a 13-year old, you are most definitely going to fight with your mother in the coming years. You'll say awful things to her and I'm sure there will be things she'll say to you that she'll later regret.
The best thing to do is talk to your mother about this. Don't attempt to do "in the moment," that will only make you fight more. Try talking to her when things are good, let her know how you feel. You may be surprised to hear what she has to say.
2007-12-05 22:35:36 · answer #3 · answered by greenpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a tape recorder? Record a conversation with her and play it back to her. I'm not sure it will change back to what it was like...actually maybe she feels like she realizes that she is the mom and it is time to be more than best friends with her daughter, work on that for a while.
2007-12-05 22:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by dearmeohmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one, not one single person, is allowed to hit you. EVER!! I don't care if it's a game or not. This is not behaviour that you should be okay with. Go to your dad or your teacher or your school counsellor and tell them what's going on. Do not allow this to continue. She is your mom and you love her, but she needs help. More help than you can give her. Go and tell someone what is going on RIGHT NOW!!!
2007-12-05 22:36:22 · answer #5 · answered by dstluke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Copy what you have just said and e-mail it to your mom to read while you are at school.If that doesnt help then talk to the school counselor, they became counselors so they could help girls in your situation hon, they DO care!
2007-12-05 22:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really interested , I will never can talk or get any close to my mom like that.
2007-12-05 22:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by ZenZero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh..haha. just try to talk with her. XD
2007-12-05 22:33:15 · answer #8 · answered by Bigpanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋