my boyfriend and I have been together for a year, we live together, and things are okay, but his obsession with porn is really starting to cause a problem. I know it's a guy thing, and that most guys look at porn, but his collection is immense, and I know he's looking at it more than what we're having sex. I bring it up to him, and he either tells me I'm being too insecure, or that he's getting rid of it, but I still keep finding it on the computer. He even went so far as to photoshop pictures of his female friends to be obscene. We resolved that issue, but I still feel incredibly insecure over it. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, that he has to look at that stuff. I've dated guys who liked porn before, and it never was a problem, but I feel like I'm competing with it, and I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel threatened, insecure, and no matter what he says about getting rid of it, it still keeps popping up. I just wish he'd at least not make it so obvious that it's there
2007-12-05 14:09:31 · 5 answers · asked by venusinfurs66 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There is a difference between enjoyment and obsession. His defensiveness suggests this may have crossed the line. Seeing a counselor may be a good idea, although he may resist.
I have known some guys who are so into porn that they virtually give up real sex.
2007-12-05 14:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Runa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt owe you anything hon.You arent married or anything.He can look at ,flirt with and have sex with as many women who will spread their legs for him.He thinks about it too.Thats what the porn does for him lets him fantasize and it wont be long before he is hinting around at 3somes etc.
You ARE competing with porn and unless you become a willing total depraved sex slave to fulfill his every fantasy and even then you will still always have to compete with porn and other women.Dump him.Not ALL guys are into porn and the fact he wont give it up tells me he loves it more than you.
2007-12-05 14:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My bf does the same thing. Have you tried being the porn???
There is really nothin you can do other then deal with it, or leave him. I learned to stop fighting with my bf because no matter what I say he is still going to look at it.
2007-12-05 14:24:19 · answer #3 · answered by xoangeleyes23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Porn is a big problem for many couples
Its also proven to be addictive.
I had to give my last partner an ultimatum- me or the porn. He chose me. Its not something easy to work past and eventually he got counseling.
Go to http://www.no-porn.com/ for tips and advice
Try also http://xxxchurch.com/gethelp/index.php -especially useful to those who identify as christians
2007-12-05 14:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by Hannai 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a mind-set. Maybe think of it as an aphrodisiac for your bf because the more you feel bad about it or resent it, he'll never understand you. As long as he doesn't cheat on you, that cool. Leave it be. He'll grow out of it. Or probably he's "learning" from it, ever think of it that way?
2007-12-05 14:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋