he never tell that love me and never call does he hate
2007-12-05 14:02:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems like you didn't finish your question, but I'm going to try to answer anyway.
I think you'll get to the point in life that you'll realize that most of the work you need to do will be done by talking to others and by talking to counselors, teachers, pastors, psychologists, etc. In my opinion, most of the time confronting your parents will only make them feel defensive. You'll get stuff like "I did my best" or "I had a lot of problems when I was raising you" or "I didn't get treated very well by my own parents".
Well, all of this is probably true, but every child SHOULD feel cherished by their parents during their childhood. They SHOULD be made to feel safe, they SHOULD not have to watch their parents fight, the SHOULD be shown and guided through life without being yelled at, spanked, beaten, neglected, abused etc.
But unfortunately life isn't even NEAR perfect. So we have to live with the hand we are dealt. It sounds like your father would not win any medals for "Best Father". But what can you do?
Well, like I said, talk to anyone who will listen about your feelings. If you are brave enough, talk to your Dad as well, but you'll have to keep the lid on accusations and feelings of hatred. If you feel that he hates you, then perhaps it's better that you just avoid him. But if you can get in touch with your feelings and decide if you would truly like to reach out to him, then perhaps a simple invitation or a friendly note might start things rolling. Try to do something together that you both might enjoy. Concentrate on enjoying the moment, not thinking so much about the past. If you can develop a relationship, then perhaps slowly, slowly, you can get to the bottom of what went wrong during your childhood or early adulthood that caused things to go astray.
I hope you will be successful. But know that you are not alone in your troubles. Many, many other folks have problems of not feeling loved by their parents, and guess what, those feelings are ALWAYS worse during the Christmas season. Why? Because the media (TV and Advertising) makes everyone feel that they should have family all around and everyone should be happy, laughing, caring, thoughtful, loving, etc. Not in the real world! Why do you think more alcohol is consumed during the Christmas season than any other time of year? No, it's not all the holiday parties!
Take care!
2007-12-05 14:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Poppy7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that you can you but talk to a professional. I am going though this very same thing and I know it hurts. I am so sorry that you feel the way you do but remember time will heal your heart and soul.
You have to stop asking what you did or did not do. Its wrong and hurtful. You heart and soul will hurt but in the end you will be a stronger person then your father will ever be.
You are a good person and never forget that you are a true t gift and how sorry he will feel when he miss out on what a true gift you are in this world.
So I send you hugs and love and remember you are some one special.
2007-12-09 00:41:38 · answer #2 · answered by lilly P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you have to remember about men, they are terrible about writing letters, or making calls to people they love, sometime I think they just take for granted that we know they love us, so many of us get caught up in everyday living and forget to say whats important, we just automatically think that our family members know we love them, I am sure your father loves you, but maybe now that you are a big girl, he does not know how to say it, or show it, next time you are around him, put your arms around his neck and tell him, I love you dad, and I bet you will receive a big hug back.
2007-12-05 14:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he never felt comfortable telling you that he loved you or never felt comfortable calling you. If he were to call you today and tell you he loved you, you'd probably laugh in his face, right? Maybe he couldn't handle that. When you were younger, what if you had told him that you hated him once and it hurt him so bad that he couldn't come back to tell you anything else?
2007-12-05 14:07:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm really sorry to hear this. Mine died when I was 5, don't remember much, but he was good &I loved him! I have 6 adult kids, & I talk to each of them at least 1X week, we have a great relationship, but we all put effort into it!! Try a lil harder, make him feel needed & loved, and see a change!! good luck!!
2007-12-05 14:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's toxic.... get over him. so sorry.
2007-12-05 14:08:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋