I can never do anything right...?

Question

My Mum is ALWAYS in a bad mood. I tried to ask her about something (it was just about returning my text books to school) and she completely lost it with me. She started yelling and screaming. I said to her, 'I'm not sure why I even start a conversation with you, every time I do you just yell at me' she just says that she's stressed over her job etc but she's never stopped to ask me about how I'm feeling.

My boyfriend rung me before, but I couldn't talk because I was at school return my books and so I hung up on him (he knew I couldn't talk). Now he's really angry and swearing at me.

My Mum always takes everything out on me, whether it's work, my brother, the dog, our family, the weather... It always seems to be my fault.

I've tried to talk to them both, but them it never works and I seem to get yelled at more.

I'm moving out of home in February but between now and then I'll be spending a lot of time with my Mum.

What do I do if talking wont work?

My Mum has lots of issues but she wont get help for them but just tends to take them out on me.

My boyfriend will get over it, I can deal with it because I don't live with him.

Answer 1

Dear Sarah,

You will be going away to school soon, where you will evolve and grow. When you return home, during a semester break, or summer break, things will be different. They will be different, because you will be different. I am not suggesting, any fault lies with you. However, your perspective will have changed, allowing you to change your environment.

Considering, you are leaving in February, and taking a trip to Australia, between now and then. Your best action plan is to lay low, and avoid conflict. You may very well be amazed, how well things can work for you, if you don't try to fix them. You can't change others. You can change how you respond to them.

Larry

Answer 2

Hi Wabby, I think you are trying your best to be honest. Try and take mom out for a nice hot cup of coffee and then you will be able to talk to mom and see what is really bothering her and let her know that you understand why she is yelling at you. Your mom sounds like she needs a good rest and may be help around the house not being ask to do so. I bet she will start haven a better evening at home and bring her stress level down some. Good Luck My Friend.
A Friend,
poppy1

Answer 3

If talking won't work, your other options are pretty limited, honestly. She obviously does have a lot of issues to deal with, but you'll be gone soon. All you can do at this point, I think, is to do your best to keep the peace, i.e. bite your tongue. I know that's a really hard thing to do, but you only have a matter of weeks left before you'll be gone. If she want to talk, you can be open, but otherwise, maybe it's best in this case to let it be. Failing that, escaping for some fresh air does wonders, I find. Good luck.

Answer 4

I have to agree with many others. Talking isn't going to help until your mother deals with here stress levels.
If they are work related there is little you can, but as H-man and the others have said try to help out around the house.
Tasks that save her doing them.
Offer to make dinner once or twice a week.
Do the laundry
Do the dishes
Set the table

They are simple things that eases the pressure.

A word of caution some mothers don't like to have help in the kitchen, they see it as their domain.

Answer 5

You can always write her a little letter and then maybe it will be easier and she can get a chance to breath and calm down. I did this with my mom AND dad and it worked out well. Things got a lot better between us. I hope you try this. Good Luck. Hang in there, things will look up, but time is always there.

Answer 6

My mom and I have never been close. I still love her, but we are always at odds with one another. We’re complete opposites, never agree on anything, and don’t have a single thing in common. She thinks I’m disorganized and rebellious, she says I’m too pessimistic, and she says I don’t care about anything. I think she’s too strict, puts things over people, doesn’t care about me with anything other than my grades, and doesn’t bother to understand me. Yeah, we never get along. Having years of experience of never getting along with my mom, I found out the best thing for me is to frankly just cut all unnecessary conversation. Unless she asks me questions or I need to tell her something, I don’t bother to talk to her. We’ll ride in a car and sit in complete silence – we don’t have anything to say, and we don’t bother. She notices, but apparently it doesn’t bother her enough to ask me what’s up. Which is fine with me – I see her as an authority figure, and not much more. I know she loves me and stuff, but she really doesn’t show it. Frankly, if she takes everything out on you, ignore her. My mom always yells at me for the DUMBEST things and I just sit there and take it, while completely ignoring her. It makes me stronger, and then I don’t argue with her and get in trouble. Try that. Just avoid her, ignore her, don’t engage in unnecessary conversation. She will know something is wrong, and when she asks, then you can talk. If she never says anything, than you know she must not really care that much. That’s my case. If you want more, shoot me an IM.

Answer 7

my mother and i have never had a good relashonship for that very reason... it always seems to be my falt
i am the cause of all pain and misery
she and i dont talk anymore because im so much happier without all the drama
i hope it doesnt come to that for you
ur boyfreind souldnt be madd at you for that on a side note

Answer 8

My mom also takes every little problem out on me. Your bf shouldn't be mad that you couldn't talk, but maybe next time, you could tell him you need to go instead of hanging up. Just quit talking to your mom. Also, when she tries to argue with you, just say "yep, you are definately right." Thats what I do.

Answer 9

Wabby, you have hit the nail on the head.

Mother is stressed out at work. Address that issue.

Can you help her out around the house so it is easier for her to cope with you and your brother.
Ask if you can help her in some other way.

Answer 10

ok, you probable already determine that your pal has a psychological project. i could no longer be a hundred% on, yet enable me take a stab at what her mentality may well be. Your pal may well be conscious that she's no longer fairly "fat" by ability of standard standards, yet she would sense that she is a fat-prone guy or woman because of the fact she thinks approximately nutrition each and all of the time. She thinks approximately nutrition each and all of the time because of the fact she is so hungery. whether she liquids a good number of water (or regardless of) so her abdomen dosn't promptly sense starvation, she nevertheless feels it someplace whether she's conscious of it or no longer. you are able to no longer convince her that if she have been as quickly as only somewhat finished (had optimal power stored in her physique and supplies) she would not think of approximately nutrition very nearly as plenty and would desire to stay a greater comfortable, happy existence without obsessing except she easily gets finished and notices consequences. You for sure can no longer tension her to do this. What you're able to do is be a distraction in her existence from focusing on weight which in turn hones her desire to obsess. gazing sort shows and skinny singers and flipping by using ineffective magazines can positioned one in a fram of strategies to obsess... open up somewhat! visit a gymnasium and refer to physique builders (who get nutrition consistent with what number energy are packed in) Spend the day doing each style of relaxing issues and help her get a existence. And if she is beeing sluggish approximately it, only say "nicely i assume you do no longer sense as much because it. you do not have the flexibility to get excited with me!" Remind her which you're her pal and want somebody to get excited with. Pinch your guy or woman "flab" (or regardless of you have) and giggle, make it a shaggy dog tale because of the fact it dosn't fairly count variety. element to a skinny sort and say "wager she would be able to't run for a whole minute without breaking something." ok, this has gotten long yet i desire you have have been given an thought of the place your pal may well be. good luck and tell her I suggested Merry Christmas in case you are able to!