What does it mean?

Question

My ex gf and I are still in each others lives even though we broke up a year ago and have dated and "BEEN" with other people. We always seem to end up back with each other. She always says she jsut wants to be friends and Iam fine with friends with benefits situation. Recently, a good friend of hers told me she still has feelings for me, and compares all the men she meets to me, and I still have feelings for her. However, she says she doesnt want a relationship.. is she trying to convince me or herself. We have been hanging out and communicating a bit more often than usual as of late. We had a bad break up, both at fault,but cheating was not a factor. I was fine how things were but now that these things have come to light, I am unsure what to do. Is she wanting me to take the intiative or not. I would rather have what we have now than nothing at all. I have been taking it slow. any ideas recomendations, suggestions... I am confused

Answer 1

This reminds me of my old situation. I was off and on with a boyfriend for 11 years. Looking back, I think the reason was pretty simple really. I was really attracted to him, physically and as a person. Unfortunatly, I think deep down we both knew that we weren't right for each other as far as "life" goes. I still love him, think of him often, and know that I am a different person because of him, but at the same time, I'm thankful that he isn't my husband. He was a wonderful guy, really, but just not for me. I haven't spoken to him or had any contact in over 8 years now, but I still wish him well and think of him from time to time.

My advice, look at the big picture. Kids, marriage, spiritual, education, careers, location, dreams, goals....and then decide whether this person is someone you should spend more time with or someone to let go and hold as a dear memory.
Good luck. Don't make it harder and more complicated than it is.

Answer 2

Sounds like you both are confused...What I suggest you do is figure out what it is that YOU want. If you want to try things again, then bring that up to her. If she doesn't, then leave it alone and be just friends with no sex. There is no way either of you will ever move on if you are still banging each other. If you both want to give it another shot, then go for it.

Answer 3

All this means is the two of you are still too young for a serious relationship.

Stop trying to figure her out. Men have been trying to figure out women since the beginning of time...and there is no answer yet.

Simply stop playing her game and move on.

Good luck.