than from the man who supposedly loves me and (his words)will never stray from me.yet we are not married because i am good at picking up the left over pieces from two bitter divorces from his previous lives.this is the fifth christmas we have been together and i can not go through another christmas of will you marry me with yet another ring and then he takes them away from me on valentines day?why is he doing this to me?why wont he set a date?i feel like i am a playdate!
2007-12-05 12:41:00 · 4 answers · asked by CHER 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can guess at how you are feeling ~ been there myself!
All I can suggest is this; listen to your heart & your intuition.
Take some time out for yourself just to think. Get a journal, grab a glass of wine, and start writing. It helps.....honestly.
Sorting out your feelings on paper is a good way of getting in touch with your true feelings. Just keep it safe & away from prying eyes.
Also, I think you need to let him stand on his own a little. Stop picking up the pieces of his "bitter divorces". After all, his divorces are not your problem. Listen & be supportive...but start making him deal with the associated problems.
If he offers you a ring again this year, maybe you should not answer him right away...... tell him you need time to think. Put the ring away & set a date/time to discuss it with him later.
Maybe you could get him to some kind of couple's therapy with you.....or even a divorce support group (more informal). We did this & it helps some.....it's slow & it really takes a serious desire to do it.
But if he loves you as he says he does......then he should want to make your relationship the best it can be, especially after 2 divorces.
If he won't go with you, maybe you should consider going on your own. I'm not saying that you need therapy, but it help to be able to talk to someone who 1. won't tell anyone & 2. who is outside of the situation & can offer you suggestions that we can't.
I honestly hope that this will be a help to you.....the holidays
(& life in general!) is hard enough without all of this happening to you.
Peace.
2007-12-06 05:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait... He asks you to marry him and then takes away the ring? He seems spoiled, like he knows what he's got (you) and you aren't going anywhere based on the fact that you've stuck around for so long. You should try showing a little less concern for him. Go away on a trip, even just a weekend and think about what you really want. All he seems to want to offer is a tug-of-war game. You deserve more than wishy-washy half hearted proposals.
2007-12-05 20:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by Sugarshots 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"yet we are not married because i am good at picking up the left over pieces from two bitter divorces from his previous lives." uh, that's why you're not married?
how about you tell him not to get you a ring unless he means it?
2007-12-05 20:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by rozefyre86 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, the question is, why are you settling for him? Love ain't enough if he isn't ready to make the commitment. There is a great book I read about that phenomenon (and many others) called, "Calling in 'the One'" which talks about why we are with people who won't commit. I've been there (not that badly, but enough to understand a bit), it sucked! Good luck!
2007-12-05 20:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Vida 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋