Is 6 weeks too young to let her cry it out?

Question

I think my daughter is getting too used to being held by me all the time. I tried all day to put her down once she fell asleep in my arms and she woke up less then 30 seconds later and would begin screaming.

They say you can't spoil a new born, but I am beginning to disagree with that. She is in her crib right now. Should I let her cry it out or is she still too young?

PS My son was much different, he liked being in his bouncer and crib so I am at a loss on how to deal with this.

Thanks.

She also has been for the most part a dream child, until the past couple of days. It's really stressing me out and my husband won't be home for another hour. My son, who is 12 now, is being such a great help but I can't rely on him, it's not fair.

Listen, she has been going on like this for close to 18 hours. Sorry if getting stressed and not knowing how to handle this bothers some people. If you don't like the question (just like I dont' like the answer) DON'T ANSWER IT! It's quite simple. If you don't have any advice take a hike, it's just as simple.

I wanted to thank all the kind answers. My son actually took her from my arms and got her calmed down. She is now sleeping on my lap. I never make any excuse to not be a parent, I love parenting. Sometimes you just need to hear reinforcing words from friends, family and even strangers. It was VERY stressful. I had tried all the techniques and nothing seemed to have a permanent fix.

My son is a God send, no doubt.

There are some amazing answers here and one rude, nasty one that I am not even sure why it's still there...anyway. I'm going to extend the q to give myself a couple more days to decide who gets best answer. i took advice from a couple of people and think that there are 3 or 4 who deserve BA, but I can only pick one of you!

Sorry, Thinking or Brand X, whatever you want to call yourself. That is not me. But considering the nasty answer you game me I am sure that I am NOT the only person you have answered as such. There is an old saying, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. As far as I am concerned, and I am sure others are, you should just never speak again.

Answer 1

Waaayyyyyyyy too young. The few experts who do recommend it don't suggest it before 6 months of age.

A 6 week old baby cries to communicate, not to manipulate you. It's the only way she knows how.

Of course she NEEDS to be held a lot. Just 6 short weeks ago she was inside you. She could see/hear/smell/taste/touch you every second of every day for 9 months. Now, sometimes you're not there. That is SCAREY for her, as she doesn't even understand at such a young age that the two of you are separate beings and you still exhist if she can't sense you. Imagine waking up to find your leg gone.....that's kind of what it's like for her.

Get a sling and wear her in that. This will give you some more freedom.

Swaddle her when you do need to put her down. Or put her in a pumpkin seat or swing so she still has a bit of the sensation of being held. It may also help this time of year to pre-warm the spot where you will put her with a warm rice sock or a heating pad. (Take the warmer away when you put her down.)

Make sure she is in a DEEP sleep before you try to put her down. This may take 20 minutes. She shouldn't be "phantom nursing" or having REM when you put her down. She should be very limp and relaxed.

We used to say our son couldn't "feel gravity" when we put him down. Lower your body with her against your chest down to the mattress.....don't take her away from your chest until she is at the mattress.

6 weeks is also a common growth spurt time, which means that right now she will probably be needing very frequent feedings.

Meeting her needs and responding to her crys will teach her that she can trust you and will teach her to communicate. Please don't leave her to CIO. It's totally inappropriate, especially at such a very young and dependent age. If you need a break.....get some help from DH, a neighbor, grandma, etc.

Answer 2

I am against CIO at any age, but especially that young. I say that with no judgement. It sounds like you have your hands full. If she is usually a good baby, then something has changed. She doesn't understand it anymore than you do and crying is the only way to tell you. A sling really is a good idea for your sanity. I used one with my last baby and would totally recommend one to anyone with a baby that really likes to be held all the time. And at times like this call in all your resources to give you a few minutes here and there (gramma, dad, etc). I understand your hesitance to let the older one help too much because it's not fair to him. But letting him give you a break-even a short one-is fine. You probably aren't a great mom to him when your ready to pull your hair out with the baby. And while I am against CIO there have been times when I had to set one of my babies in their crib and walk away for a few minutes...not for a long while but a few minutes for me to take a few deep breaths or even have a quick cry to let off some steam.

Deep breaths. This too shall pass.

Answer 3

I think 6 weeks is too young but I think it is also more of an opinion. I would say your Dr will also tell you no, but ask them. I started letting my daughter cry it out at bedtime at 6 mos of age. It was rough for a few nights, but after about 3 days or so she would only cry for about 3 minutes or so. of course, she has her rough nights, but don't give up and don't pick them up unless you think something could be wrong (sick or fever or something). So my suggestion is at 6 months, lay your child down if they cry check on them in 5 minutes... just rub forehead and tell them its ok... walk out go back in 10 minutes if still crying... some say 15 but I don't let me daughter cry more than 10. I jsut think it is cruel lol. It will be very hard at first but you will be so happy you did it. Doing it at the same time or near the same time daily helps too so they can have a schedule.

As far as letting them cry it out during the day if you need to get things done, i think it depends on the situation. Different children develop at different paces. You ( and dad) are the only ones who truly know how "smart" your child is. If you think they are doing it just because they know you will come get them... let them cry a little. Personally, I don't let my daughter cry a lot during the day (I spoil her) which probably isn't the best thing to do, but it all comes down to how comfortable you really are with letting them cry and that applies both day and night.

Answer 4

My gut says six weeks is too young, but I also am wondering what has changed that she is suddenly crying like this. There is probably something wrong that you just haven't figured out yet. This is the only way she has to tell you.

Edit: I'm glad your son calmed her down. Sometimes if you are getting stressed out from the crying, it just feeds the crying in the infant. I never would have survived my second child without a snuggly. She really did have to be touching me in order to sleep. She is the most self sufficient of my three now that they are adults, so hang in there.

Answer 5

Yes, six weeks is too young to cry it out and you can't spoil a newborn. To be "spoiled" they'd have to have some sort of conception of manipulation which a new baby definitely doesn't have. She's crying because she has a need, and that is how she is expressing herself. She's only six weeks old! Things will change monthly, weekly, daily... maybe she's hitting a growth spurt, so she's fussier than usual? It's hard to say, but you'll figure it out. If you learn your daughter's cues and go with the flow through the bumps, you should never "need" to let her cry it out.

Best of luck!

Answer 6

Please do not let her cry it out, she is much too young. Mine are 4 years and 2 years and I still won't let them cry it out!!! If you do want to try the cry it out method, I believe they say not before 4 months old. If this just started recently maybe she is not feeling well. I would call the doctor in the morning to make an appointment, just to have her checked over. Better to be safe than sorry. Take a deep breath....it will stop.....Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

Had a similar difficulty myself, and regrettably, I keep in mind reading so you might no longer self soothe till 3-4 months. Swaddling did not paintings on my daughter, both. i got here across that a force contained in the automobile might want to do wonders, and because that I had one in all those detachable automobile seat structures, i might want to carry that into the domicile and enable her sleep there. once you're transferring him to a crib, attempt protecting him antagonistic for your body till you've him thoroughly laid down contained in the crib, then gently shy away. As little disruption as available will advance the prospect of fulfillment. regrettably, no longer some thing will be suitable. there'll be sleepless nights. yet once you get to self soothing (which I did at 4 months), it receives plenty a lot less stressful. they'll nonetheless awaken some, yet you gained't have the three hours of begging him to sleep. i imagine I nonetheless owe my daughter $one hundred I promised her one nighttime if she might want to easily bypass to sleep. i comprehend she did not understand me, yet by some ability she went to sleep about 10 minutes after I made that promise...unusual.

Answer 8

Too young. She was held safe, warm and secure in your womb for the first 9 months of her existence. Transitioning to this cold world is hard. I suggest getting a sling to carry her around in if it is too difficult. But letting her cry it out will only make her distressed and insecure. Going to her and comforting her when she cries teaches her to be secure, that she is taken care of, and that in turn will make her more secure in her independence.

Answer 9

Yes, she's too young! Some babies have a greater need to be held than others. You might want to get a sling to carry her in so that you can meet her need for closeness and still get other things done.

Here are some good resources:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050100.asp
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussybaby.html#spoil
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130100.asp
http://www.continuum-concept.org/cc_defined.html

Answer 10

I think 6 weeks is too young to let her cry it out. She's still getting used to you and needs her bonding time. Letting her cry it out now may make her feel insecure because shes so young and doesnt understand yet.