please do not ask me to elaborate,?

Question

but is there ever an easy way out?i need to have happiness in my life and i do not see any in my future with my mate after four years.i am tired of false hopes and broken promises.i do not really feel loved or respected as his woman and it hurts like H3ll.i love him so much but i know i will never be the queen of his castle.he has his princess daughter to rule over his reign and she's only 11.can anybody help me with my dilemma?
serious answers only,i can't bear to hear any smart aleck remarks.thank you.i need to be discreet please.please honor my request.i am seriously hurting from this .i am ready to crack up.

thank you cin.but the problem is ,i live in his house.the only bills i do not incur is the mortgage.i pay everything else. i do not know if i can afford to live on my own with my two teenage kids.my job is facing a buy out and i;m looking at a layoff.

miss t,i have tried that so many times and all i got was the bridge of my nose bit,a broken thumb black eyes and a broken shoulder in 4 places.he says he loves me but if you love someone how much pain does one have to endure for the sake of love.

thank you all.i am so emotionally overwhelmed by all of the responses.you fine people whom i don't even know treat me with more kindness and respect.thank you all.

krsims,i have talked to him about this and he tells me im a nasty old aging whore.

miss t,thank you.i am so unhappy.i can't even think straight.for 4 years i have been his rock and his punching bag and his atm.i have nothing left for him to take.

but he wont let me go.somebody please help me,this is no joke.if i leave i wil no longer have my life.my two kids need me.

miss t ,there is NO WAY OUT.I have a 13 year old son and an 11 year old daughter.they are too youmg to work to help me out.i have tried to leave so many times but he just cant and wont let me go.

latinoheat,he has already told me to leave when he is at work because he does'nt want to get violent with me.just leave like the other two did ,on the sneak.but i am much better than that.

Answer 1

There are many answers. The politically correct and "safe" ones will tell you to go to marriage counseling, see a therapist, etc. That is good advice if you have the internal fortitude to see it through. No guarantees that it will work, but if there is hope for you, then those are the best avenues. If you TRULY are beyond hope with this relationship (and honestly I never know when it comes to women because they (from this man's point of view) seem to go from hot to cold very quickly. My wife is an example of this--but enough about me.) then there's one thing to do. FOCUS ON YOURSELF. You need to recapture your happiness and it should have nothing to do with his happiness. This will cause some trouble as all the things you did for him will go away and he will be confused, but stick to your guns, treat YOURSELF well, and eventually he will either act like he did when you first met and he wanted you to like him or you can both agree to get a divorce. The KEY MESSAGE here is: at this stage in your marriage, it is time to spend much more of your time on making yourself happy because the person who is supposed to do that is not doing his part. Good luck!

Answer 2

I am truly sorry for you and all your going through! for what its worth I know how you feel! In some respects I am going through the same things, but its all emotional and verbal here. It is so easy to tell someone to just leave and get out , but that is hard to do especially when you have invested so much time and so much of yourself. I know it is such a scary thought to get out with no where to go. start exploring your options. Look around for a place to live that you could afford by yourself if you had to. Just remember that he will continue to treat you this way as long as he knows he can. Do you have any friends or family that lives somewhere else, like another state, that could help you start over? If your job maybe on the rocks, now maybe the perfect time to relocate, and put distance between him and you. It's not a healthy situation for you or you kids! Many prayers and best wishes to you!

Answer 3

Have you ever sat down and talked with him about how you are feeling? I know it is not what you want to hear but nothing ever gets resolved without talking about it first. If so and he can not come to a meeting place with you on the matter then you need to go your seperate ways. It is hard for both parties given his daughter is not yours. I am a single parent and one of the main reasons I am not in a relationship with anyone right now is I do not think I am ready to put anyone ahead of my kids and when I look for the man that is for me I have to do that. Those then become our kids instead of his and if your man cannot realize that then there is no way that the relationship would work. If that is your kid or not, you need to put your foot down and say enough is enough. I am going to be treated how I deserve to be treated or I am leaving. It is going to be very hard but that is what needs to be done. You deserve to be happy and he needs to realize that.

Answer 4

There are no easy way out. But there is a way out. You have to do what's right for you. If you know that you'll never be the one for him, there's no point in staying. And the longer you stay, the harder it is to go away. Build up your courage and do it. Tell him that you are not happy in this relationship and that things can't go on like this. Tell him it would be better for everyone (or for you) if you 2 weren't together anymore. That's really tough to do, I know, but it's necessary. Be strong and be true to yourself. You deserve to be happy.

You know who to write to if you need to talk. (((((((hugs)))))))


Edit: OMG!!! Get the H3ll out of there!!! Pack up and leave! I didn't know it was that bad. I'm sorry. I hope you have people who can have you over for a while. Time for you to get your things in order. Don't take it anymore. He has NO RIGHT to treat you this way. Pack up and leave!!! ASAP!!! You can always find another job if the one you have ends and your boys are teens, so they can help around a bit. Time to put yourself first. Do it for yourself.

Answer 5

Without too much more information it would be hard to give you accurate information, but from what I read it sounds like you need to make your mate not a mate. Turn him into an EX. There is never an easy way to do this kind of thing. Good luck. I know you are hurting. Hang in there, this too will pass.

Answer 6

There's no advice that I can give you, but take care of number 1. Be safe. Life is to short to put up with that crap. You can do better and deserve better. If he was a man he wouldn't be put through this. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 7

From what I have seen from your other question and from this one as well as your edited details you might be best to get out as soon as possible even if it means sneaking out in the middle of the night. A person doesn't physically abuse someone that they claim to love nor do they treat them like garbage.

Answer 8

Please re-read what you wrote. It is all about him. Think about yourself, and send this guy packing. Make yourself #1 and realize you don't need anyone to make you happy - you have to do that on your own. You sure don't need a grown man and his 11 year old daughter ruining what is a very short life, when it comes right down to it. Move on - and leave them to their castle...find one of your own. Once you make yourself your first priority, it will all become easier.