why can't I get rid of my strong feelings of HATE and strong need for revenge???

Question

Is been 6 months since my Ex dumped me and I'm still not over it. I'm dating another girl now and shes amazing but I still can't get rid of my deep hatred for my Ex.

She did a lot of emotional abuse during the relationship and played me like a fool. She used me, took from me and made empty promises. She left me like it was nothing. She turned me into a pathetic loser... crying and begging for her to take me back. I lost weight and cried for a week.

Now I want to hurt her... I want to make her pay and it drives me crazy that she can just abuse me and walk away. She has a great life now and she's happy and it makes me sick..

What do I do? I can't get past these Deep Deep feelings of Anger, Rage and Hate... I want her to suffer. How do I stop feeling like this?

help

Answer 1

Every second you waste thinking about how you'd like to punish her is a second she steals from you, now.
She did you a favor. You could still be with her and you could still be abused.
When you hate and plot revenge you make yourself linger on sick and twisted thoughts and that poisons your very soul. You aren't hurting her; you are hurting yourself.
Often, we go through some painful things to learn something.
I don't know what that was for you, but you won't see the good in it if you dwell on retribution.
In the end, we all pay for our sins. It isn't up to you to see that justice is done. Rest assured, it will happen.
As long as you stay in this mindset, you will not be free. Let it go. Write down the worst of it and burn the paper. Do something like that.
Well, there are some reasonable ways to get over this. I wish you well.
C. :)!!

Answer 2

What's done is done and there's nothing you can add to or subtract from it that will change what happened. It's over. It's done with. Finished. You have moved on with your life. Keep doing that and don't let the hurts of the past ruin things for you. Look to those experiences to find what you have learned about yourself from them and how you can use that knowledge to make life better for you. You have your own life to live. I have been in your shoes more than once in my life so I can appreciate your feelings, but don't let those feelings eat away at you. It's not worth the energy.

Answer 3

Just disregard her. This is what she really deserves. And believe me, she will get pissed off as if you have hurt her for real. Live a great life... if she hates you she will try to put you down again, ( but then you will prove your victory by not falling like before), and if she does not really hate you, she will be happy for you.

Abusers are not even worth the hatred. And remember, one day you will look back and smile

Answer 4

Ive been in your situation so i understand. The best thing to do is to simply get over them. I know its hard but if you just put them in the past, concentrate on your happiness instead of your anger, eventually the anger starts to fade and you then realize what a favor they done you by leaving.
Revenge is a dish best served cold!
Concentrate on your new girlfriend and put your energy into her and your own happiness. Believe me, not giving a dam about your ex is the best revenge you can get. She ain't worth five seconds of your time.

Answer 5

well, it takes time, but you have to realize that you SHOULDNT hurt her, that you WONT hurt her if you keep yourself under control. ok, so someone dumped you, sorry, but i mean, you're probably not the only one. and on the bright side, youre dating a new girl who sounds lots nicer than the old one. also, if you just let go, and say, "ok, so i looked dumb, and she was a jerk, what have i lost, nada. what have i gained. a whole lot." for one thing, you are no longer the slave of a jerk, *yay!* two, you have a new girlfriend who's amazing *yay!* three, youve learned what to look for in a relationship and now you won't get in the same position again *yay!* four, you can now move on with you're life *yay!* four very good things, and if you have enough control of youre mind, then you can banish these thoughts, just practice constant mental supervision and try to let go like a mature adult.

I know its hard, and it must've sucked just being left like that, and I'm totally not condoning what she did to you. but you can do it! let go, and just try hard, the thoughts will go away and die down if you let them. think of good things

happy thoughts!

Answer 6

Revenge somewhat hurts you interior the long-term.,); paintings on forgiveness. Vengeful ideas injury the midsection, develop blood tension and create abdomen and problems, on a similar time as the guy we are indignant with is going luckily unaware into the destiny. Vengeance disrespects the self.

Answer 7

Breakup with your current girlfriend. She should not have to be a rebound nor should she have to share you with a girl who has obviously moved on - you are already taking out these feelings on your new girlfriend by being in an unfocused relationship. You need time to figure out how you will not allow yourself to be part of another lousy relationship before you begin another one. Let that poor new girl go before you are asking this question again in another 6 mos.

Answer 8

It's all just the play of karma. When you understand that what goes around, comes around, you learn to be kinder to others, gentler to yourself. Who knows who did what to whom in past lives, but it can stop here, if you want. By forgiving. You'll get it when you're ready, in the meantime, it'll just keep going round and round. You decide.

Answer 9

dude you've already done your revenge, get over it. Also tell Mike T. I said hi, what a worthless piece of sh#t.