My boyfriend best friend killed himself this past week and I am really not sad about it. He was a drug addict who liked to try and make everyone as miserable as he was. He told me once that he wanted the whole town to shoot dope like he did so they could all enjoy it. Since me and my honey have sobered up the only time we have seen them ( the friend and his wife) is to try and get us to do **** or try and get my honey to commit fraud by saying the guuy worked for him. We have a house and kids and our lives had changed. I try to be sad for my honey as they were best friends growing up but as everyone is telling me how great this guy was all I see and remember are the terrible things he did and said to everyone. I honestly think maybe he will finally be happy and at peace so I believ it is for the best. Yes he was too young but the life he was leading was hell. Am I terrible for not feeling bad?
2007-12-05 10:42:34 · 37 answers · asked by Kookie M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thanks for all the nice answers so far and I would NEVER tell my honey how I feel.
2007-12-05 10:53:00 · update #1
You are absolutely NOT a terrible person and the fact that you are asking about dealing with this difficult situation shows what growth you've made in YOUR life!
When my mother died (she and my dad had been separated then divorced for 26 years by then) my father wasn't sad really but he did say that he just felt bad for me. I think he felt a little "funny" about not feeling more for her and you know what? Don't force your feelings. How about this? Think of your boyfriend and the fact that he lost his best friend. Try to focus on just that aspect, not what the friend was truly like, and to help him. You'll feel better about the whole situation by being supportive of him. Never feel bad about not feeling bad about something. I know someone who had M.S. and killed herself. I think I've always understood why she did it so I didn't feel bad for her either. It did take a while to work it out in my head though : ). Good luck with everything!
P.S. I should tell you-my mom was a lifelong alcoholic and when she died I felt weird about not mourning her more. It's very hard and different than if a person without major troubles dies.
2007-12-05 10:49:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jane S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drugs can put a person through hell, them and everyone close to them, and if you really feel like this guy is better now, then there is no harm in hoping he is at peace. It's probably better for him, and for those close to him. Now your honey can remember him as the childhood friend he was and not have to watch him run himself into the ground while he takes people down with him.
2007-12-05 10:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by CoffeeQueen0327 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want an honest opinion?? Yes, I think you are wrong for feeling the way you do. Just because he was a drug user, and did horrible things doesnt mean that his life is less important then yours. A life lost, is a life lost - - no matter what bad deeds that person has commited. This poor man no longer has the chance to redeem himself. To clean up his act, and live a happy long life. Maybe he didn't see his wrong-doings, but who's to say that wouldn't change tomorrow or next year? I am sad that your boyfriend lost his best friend. I don't believe his friend's death was "for the best".
2007-12-05 10:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by MOTHERBEAR 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Most deaths are tragic and you think they usually happen at the wrong time. However, if you were not close to the person and didn't really like him, you shouldn't feel guilty about not being upset. But it would be wrong if you think it was for the better because of the life he lived. Everyone has the right to life, no matter what kind of decisions they make in that life.
2007-12-05 10:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by Caiti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a terrible person. There are no wrong or right feelings. However, no matter how messed up this guy was he was still someone's son, brother, uncle, grandson and best friend. Why did he kill himself?...Surely he wasn't happy with the way his life was. Perhaps at some point he was reaching out for help and no one heard his cries.
2007-12-05 10:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by margarita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
addiction is a battle from the darkness of the devil. we all battle something and you know what if he killed himself then no he is not in a better place. people need to stop thinking about only them selves and step out and help someone else. have you done drugs, by the grace of God you made it out and when that happens then help others because you have been there. you should feel bad that he never had a chance to get it right here on earth and that no one really reached out to help him. if your heart is harden then pray drugs are scary and so many are lost in them. i know i was there for 10years and been free 2 years . hey just comfort your husband don't judge the guy who is dead use his story to save others from that life. BE BLESSED
2007-12-05 10:50:46 · answer #6 · answered by DEEDDLE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first line you wrote>>> No over and over i say no stay cool stay alive end of question>> forget the bleeding heart liberals who BTW cant fix the problem like a "" Dr house"" so i say your on equal footing as they say The house TV show some incredible views and values wow but I'm still gonnna flunk the be a doc 101 lol Not to say you shouldn't care but only care for the living another line from star trek >>>> we both get the same kind of customers the living and the dieing ! not a quote as i don't have the episode playing on any media.
2007-12-05 10:55:04 · answer #7 · answered by dukhead777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, now if you were to tell your "honey" how you truley felt, then you would be a bad person. Maybe there was stuff about him you never got to see, right now just be there for your man and in the end everything will work out. Good luck
AngelBaby
2007-12-05 10:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by I♥NickSimmons 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think that that is just your true feelings, and I can understand how you feel about him because he was the terrible person, (at least from many people's point of view,) not you. Just because you are not as uspet about all of this as your bf does not mean that you are a terrible person; you are just being yourself, and reacting to how your bf's friend treated you and others. It is normal to sometimes feel this way when these things happen, and I would just try not to worry about it, and let your feelings take it's course.
2007-12-05 10:48:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not a terrible person. otherwise you wouldn't be wondering if u were. it sounds like you are very caring because you a trying to be sympathetic to your man! hang in there girl and stand by your man! i think you re feeling what every other normal person would be feeling right now and he probrably is more peaceful now. people usually do bad things because there is something in their lives they are trying to run away from and now he don't have to run anymore. u just hang in there and i wish every body could be as big hearted as u and maybe it wouldn't be so much bad in the world! good luck to u!!! and never doubt yourself!!
2007-12-05 10:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by greenjeans1986 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋