How should a loving husband deal with this?

Question

After pregnancy, wife has gotten fat and ugly. Tried telling her directly how unappealing her looks have become, but she still hasn't improved.

How can she change her ways, become a better wife, and stop withholding sex? It's really UNFAIR of her.

Answer 1

try taking her out for romantic walks. its exercice, and something you can do together. and also, if u dont already, u could take control of the cooking and cleaning up, so she can have a break, and also make something healthy, so you are sneakily controlling her diet as well. plus, by helping, shes less stressed out and trapped feeling, so shes more likely to be in the 'mood'. but most importantly, tell her she is PRETTY!!! dont u think she knows shes ugly?? ill bet shes actually really upset at how her body has changed. make her feel better, and maybe shell stay away from the comfort food. and one more thing... give her a back/ foot massage.

Answer 2

well she is probably with holding sex because you told her directly how unappealing her looks have become. this probably just made her depressed. if you really want her to look good and stop withholding, youre going to need to do some work. but, since you claim to be a loving husband, this shouldnt be hard. you should start helping around the house so she has more free time, then tell her you want to join a gym with her. make it a weekly thing and work out together as often as possible. i bet she'd like to spend time with you again, but she is too busy with the new baby. help plan a shopping list for healthier food. do some vaccuming and laundry so she feels appreciated. if i felt unappreciated, i certainly wouldnt want to have sex. you have to start treating her like a princess so she will have the confidence to take care of herself better. there is hope!

Answer 3

Uh, would YOU want to have sex with someone who thinks that you are fat and ugly? You probably are too and somehow think you deserve better even though you may be bald, have bad breath and (this i know) are a jerk.

If you would be a loving and kind husband your wife would probably quit being depressed and then would feel better about herself. she is probably a classic case of a woman whose jerk husband tears her down and then wonders why she cant get off the floor. You sound like you need some professonal counseling and help as I'm so disgusted at a man who would write such horid things about his wife in a public forum. Man - you are disgusting and dont deserve a wife OR sex.

Answer 4

A loving husband would never call his wife fat and ugly BUT some men don't understand how hormones can affect a woman after pregnancy. Assuming that you are the husband, I would say that it is your job to make her feel beautiful again. Watch the baby so she can go to a womans gym, buy her a new outfit, tell her she is beautiful and you respect her for being such a wonderful mother...I hate to tell you this but you are probably not her biggest concern right now...you have to be more understanding and make her want to have sex with you! If you make her feel fat and ugly there is no way she is going to take her clothes off in front of you...be understanding. You play a bigger role in the matter than you realize, obviously.

Answer 5

Let's talk about the only person that you can do anything about. You. How about if you focus on yourself and all of the ways that you have let her down since she has become a new mother. Let's focus on how you make her feel ugly and that you don't understand her new role in the family as wife And mother. How about the way you are publicly stating that your wife is unappealing, fat and ugly. She needs you right now ... more than ever. Stop being selfish and man up. Be the kind of sensitive husband that you CLAIM to be!!!!!

My husband puts you to shame.

Answer 6

wow, you are a huge ******* asshole. Loving husband? Yeah sorry, loving husbands don't call thier wives fat and ugly, and don't think that thier wife becoming "attractive" would make her a "better wife." Oh yes and how could i forget the witholding sex part? Well, how dare she, right? If my husband was sitting there telling me what a fat ugly cow I was, and that i needed to be better looking to be a good wife, especially if it was after i had just gave birth to his child after carrying it for 9 months, the FIRST thing i'd do is jump on that treadmill, and then jump in the sack with him. Could you be any more of a selfish, chauvinistic bastard?

Answer 7

Have you ever considered that the problem may be that u've been pressuring her too much for too long about it, when instead you should have encouraged her to feel better about herself? she's been through a tough time by the sounds of it and you need to ease up. Maybe go to the pools as a family. Babies can learn to swim at a very young age, and its good exercise for everyone. And OMG you can even spend time together as a family! fancy that.

You've destroyed her self esteem and confidence, how bout giving it back? Don't talk about it anymore, show her that you love her and she'll do it by herself. Maybe give her some time to chill out while you look after bub.

Answer 8

i will just say I had my first baby this year and had a c-section and it is really really hard to lose the weight(for me anyways).... my husband has been nothing but supportive... taking paternity leave after the baby was born to help and being calm/patient while I had PPD. He loves me for the person I am, he knows it is all hard for me adjusting. If you want to become more intimate with your wife, try giving her a massage or foot rub or if you are that disgusted by her get her some self-pampering coupons or gift cards so she can go alone without the baby and relax and feel beautiful.

Answer 9

you want to regulate your concepts-set, no longer your spouse. i can not have self belief you genuinely instructed her that she's unappealing and lazy, even as danger is that she busts her butt daily with the domicile and 2 small toddlers. perchance in case you helped her with the toddlers and house responsibilities so she did no longer ought to do all of it on her personal, your spouse might want to have better time to sex you up. perchance she would not be so drained. perchance you would possibly want to get a babysitter and connect a health center at the same time or bypass for walks at the same time. when you're at it, do a touch study to work out what having 2 pregnancies, then 2 little ones and shortage of sleep does to a woman's body. Hormones are a sucky, uncontrollable problem, yet all you spot is The sex you're not any more Getting, and that is what this is about. no longer some thing else.

Answer 10

so let me get this straight- she just had your baby- and you told her she is fat AND ugly- and that she needs to do something so she would be more appealing. - How could she be a better wife?- Please change that to how can you be a better husband. The marriage is not just about you getting excited over how your wife looks- I pray that you are kidding here- because if you are not- I feel sorry for you- because that would mean, all you think about is what you want, and not really about her feelings at all