Why is it hard to find a trustworthy American mate?

Question

I'm a teen(18) right now and I don't understand love yet but when I think of marriage in the future, I am worried. In my country, the U.S. I see so many divorces happening... I see many children suffering because of their parents' selfishness. It seems that divorce is the only solution for every little argument or if someone is bored of their love...in America.

I see some traditional people who stick together and work things out no matter what, they do it for their children. I think it is hard to find someone trustworthy. Even if I am kind and provide for my partner she will just get bored and cheat on me...

Thank you for reading.

I'm an American too.

Answer 1

Marriage is work, it's definitely not easy. And boy, I'm sitting here, engaged, and I once thought, all you need is prince charming and love right? Everything else is happily ever after.

Man, that is so wrong. No matter how much you love someone, no matter how much they make you swoon...there simply are times when the fireworks stop. When the passion fades. And when love is the last thing on your mind.

I love my fiance, but I've come to the realization there is no fairy tale ending for anyone! It takes work, every day to make things work. We are two people with completely different attitudes, opinions, and beliefs. We share the same interests, for the most part, and of course, when you're dating, you think that's all a couple needs. Wait until you move in with them! You will inevitably find at least one thing that makes you happy, makes them unhappy. I love peace and quiet, friends are nice to see in small doses...like dinner and a movie, or an afternoon BBQ. He wants our house to continue like it was during his bachelor days...a party place where people can drop in, no matter the time, and decide to spend the night on a whim. Dinner and a movie turn into all weekend long drinking bashes. I don't drink, alcohol makes me pretty sick. Do we clash on this? Absolutely. At least a few times a month. We generally try to discuss our feelings...and attempt to understand how each other feels. It certainly isn't easy to do so, especially when we're both very, very, very stubborn. In the end, we ususally work it out.

Housework is a biggie! If you split 50/50 housework, survey says, your partner will be happy in your relationship. Let me tell you this is so true. My fiance desperately wanted a manx cat, which would make two cats in our home. He promised to share the litterbox duties. I swear it's like pulling teeth to get him to clean it even once a month. He doesn't like the smell. So, I do it, and there's peace (not that I like the smell). Is this our agreement? No, but when you live with someone you come to realize their quirks, and well the things you thought they would do, and don't. There's a tradeoff, of course, I get a massage nearly every night, so now we're both happy.

Some people find it more difficult to find peace over the little things. Little things build and build until they are gigantic. Marriage between two people is hard work, there is nothing easy about it. Two people who call it quits are not doing so out of selfishness. They are doing so because their personalities have changed so much that they no longer mesh together. If people do not spend enough time together every week, then they can fall out of love. People always need to make time for them as a couple, even after they have children. It becomes increasingly difficult to do this, and it can lead to numerous things like cheating spouses, or arguments. This doesn't just happen in America. In fact, I read an article where it was really bad in China.

Love is a risk, marriage is hardwork, but at the end of the day, when you're snuggling up to your spouse, you realize that it's worth it. Love is worth the risk.

Answer 2

Love is a risk. A marriage is as individual as the couple that come together to try it. You will have to just try to find someone that has the same moral fiber and definitely the energy and determindness to stay married. If you are of the same mind, that marriage is sanctimonious, then you will be fine. And in case it doesn't work out, then that is what divorce is for. No one really enters into marriage thinking that it is not going to work. For the most part, people have good intentions. Hope you find her.

Answer 3

Be patient, very observant and learn from your relationships. And, by all means, do not marry for at least 15 more years. If you follow this advice you have a fairly good chance of finding the kind of person and marriage you are looking for. Good luck.

Oh, yeah. And, remember that a 50% divorce rate also means that 50% of all marriages stay together for the rest of their lives.

Answer 4

I like to think that there are still trustworthy people out there, and although America does have a high divorce rate, I think strong, healthy relationships are still possible. If a person is good and trustworthy, they will attract people of the same character to themselves.

Answer 5

Ignore any one with vanity plates on their car. They are just trying to get attention. (And they get it from every crook in the USA.)

But you can tell if someone is all about themselves or knows how to be a giver by the way they relate to everyone around them.
Never marry anyone unless you have known them for more than six months. Cause your brain is clouded with a similar kind of chemical that causes poor judgment while intoxicated.
Give yourself plenty of time to get to know someone and for them to know you.

Answer 6

You haven't seen the worthless marriages of previous generations go on and on and on, without love or respect, because divorce was taboo. Marriage is hard work and both must work at it. You have to choose your partner wisely and do not avoid seeing the bad because of blind love. And ladies .... STOP babying your boys and raising them to be the kind of men women hate.

Answer 7

Maybe you should try to find a foreing mate. Then you can compare and get your own conclusion. Relationships are not easy anyways, it's all about taking the time to get to know the other person before making a commitment.

Answer 8

i don't think it's a matter of divorcing over every little argument. instead, i think that a lot of people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of unending romance, endless sex, and total fulfillment.

when reality and the ups and downs of real life set in, i think some people feel cheated or disappointed. i'm glad every day that my husband and i went to pre-marital counseling before we got married. we were able to discuss our expectations of marriage and form more realistic ideas about the situation we were entering. i would recommend that you demand pre-marital counseling before you marry. if you marry in a church, they will demand it.

Answer 9

Expect the worst and hope for the best.

Answer 10

Yes it is