if you feel torn between wanting to split up with your partner and wanting to stay what would you do? if the bad times are really bad and the good times are really good? and if you did split up how do you cope, if you have been together for 7 years and have a son together? or do all couples feel like this sometimes? coz i want it to work just sometimes................
i feel like screaming! aaaaarrrrr
2007-12-05 10:11:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My dear Friend, I believe the first thing we must do Is remember our Marriage vowels. But more importantly, remember we TOOK THESE VOWELS in the presence of God. Then Many times, we push God out later in our Marriage, and Trouble steps In. > Satan would love to see Your Marriage crumble!! Chances are, If you were to Divorce Your child would never Grow up to Know Jesus. (And Satan does Have A Bid On all Our children.) I would like very much for you to Bend a Little and ask Your Husband If you could Come to a Godly solution? Remind Him Of all You Have going for You, No matter How Bad it looks. And We all know If we Pray about this, God WILL HEAL YOUR MARRIAGE. I hope you will consent to My praying for You, Because that is where Your answer Is......God Has It My Dear, waiting to release it to You for the asking.... HE WANTS TO HEAL YOUR MARRIAGE.....He will build new Flames In Your Heart...Please, Just Trust Him. O.K?
<>Victorious Prayer Warrior<>
2007-12-05 14:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by minnetta c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI laurax. Screaming is very good for you, it relieves tension and sometimes can make you see things in a different light afterwards. Find a place and scream your head off.
Being torn makes people feel caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea a very awkward place to be in. So a couple who have been together for 7 years and have a child and like you, most couples are having their ups and downs. It is a good idea to remember the good time when things are difficult, this helps keeps the tension down a little bit, It all depends on what happens when the bad times erupt. screaming and shouting is not the answer and if one person wants to scream, just state that you will on discuss the situation until the person can show you respect by talking normal. this can also disarm a situation. You need to express the need to talk as adults and discuss the way forward for you both and be truthful that you are coming to the end of you tether which may lead you to get out of the relationship. Also the situation is not good for both of you or the child.
Splitting up is a decision you have to make, remembering you have a child who needs both parents, however the behaviour shown is not good for the child. If you do decide to separate you have a struggle of finding somewhere suitable to live for you and your child.
If you want the relationship to work, you have a lot of work to do. Come to a comprimise as to where and when you discuss the situation at hand (IE, not infront of the child). Both of you can write down the good and bad things about your relationship and see if any are the same, the differences can be discussed and hopefully you can come to some form of aggrement and make a plan to work towards, along with agreements of behaviour etc etc. Communication is the name of the game, if no one rolls the dice and communicates the game can not start and life will be stuck. What ever you decide, I wish you good luck....David
2007-12-05 18:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by David Wilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you feel torn between wanting to split or not, is an indicator that all is NOT well. Nothing is black and white. People can't be changed. I think a time limit of 6 months, and if no improvements, using Relate on your own or as a couple, then time for a split.
You need to work out what is best for you. If you'd be happier, eventually on your own, then you'd probably be a better parent - rather than miserable. If you do leave, you will have doubts about whether you've done the right thing. Will see couples everywhere you look. You have to remind yourself why you've split. Expect to have yo-yo emotions for a while.
2007-12-05 18:20:43 · answer #3 · answered by Julia H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Communication is a two way street. He may feel the same way but not know how to go about talking it out. Generally if we sit down with our partners we find out that both people are feeling the same way and can then start to work on solutions to the problems.
Kids are a concern, but keep in mind they are very sensitive to what is going on between you and your husband. If they detect that there is no love in the marriage then they grow up thinking that it is normal.
If you are torn in what you should do then talk it out first perhaps there are solutions you haven't even thought of or perhaps he wants the same thing out of the marriage because of the bad times. But you'll never know if you don't talk to him.
2007-12-05 18:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by Cliff R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want it to work you'll both will have to put some effort into it.Some you can do on your own. Be patient, don't blow your stack!
Splitting up can go a good thing or a not so good thing! I've been divorced for 3 years now and have met soooo many women that knowing what they know now would have worked a little harder. Many things to consider especially having a son together.
2007-12-05 18:18:30 · answer #5 · answered by michael w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, sometimes marriage has good times and bad times. Sometimes we need to remember how we felt when we first fell in love. It is always easier to think of the things that bug us instead of the things we love. Maybe you should talk to your husband and try to remember together all the good memories. Maybe looking at pictures that remind you of the things and the reasons why you fell in love. It is work but it is worth it. Pick and choose your battles. Go to your husband and tell him let's remember why we first fell in love. Let's go back to our first love experience together. It is so worth the fight. i will be praying for you both. Don't let the ups and downs of the world ruin a life time of good memories. You have a child, and he is a blessing and everything you have is a beautiful gift.
prayer warrior
2007-12-05 20:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by Godsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that if it weren't for those bad times, we would not know when the good times were.
By this point in the game your feelings don't matter anymore. Ask yourself, what are your son's feelings on the matter?
Good luck.
2007-12-05 18:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my spouse for 21 years and we have those hate you love you days but I think all of us have that. I can’t imagine agreeing to every thing he thinks, feels or says to make a happy life. Start doing your own thing (gym, classes, bowling ect.) and when you both are not getting along you will have something to keep you at peace
2007-12-05 18:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by nightplay205 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good time come and good just like bad times
no matter where you go or who your with ther are going to be problems.
marriage is about being with the one you love enought to hang on and understand and go through it together.
you have to sit and talk about what it is the make thing hard what is the problem only together can you find it out.
2007-12-05 18:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by 10tolife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laura,
If I truly felt this way, personally, I would be asking God for guidance. Marriage has it's valleys and its mountain tops. It is very natural....Been married 35 yrs.!
Laura, I hope you do not mind but, I will be praying that God will intervene in your marriage. I pray you both realize the wonderful gifts you have in one another ...plus a beautiful son, whom God gave to you as a gift! May God guide you both and restore the joy you both knew...not so long ago!!
I will be praying for the best, in your situation!
gail
2007-12-05 19:36:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋