ok, womanly advice, i'm a little worried;-(?

Question

My boyfriend and i started having sex. He wasn't my first, but i had only had sex one time about 2 years before. on our 1st time, it was really painful, and i thought that maybe that was because it was like my 1st time..you know (the 1st time i ever had sex, it didn't hurt at all...so i am a little puzzled) he is really gentle and goes slow and stops if i'm in any pain at all, but sometimes that annoys me, i mean, maybe my hymn is really far up there or something, and he still has to break it. it always hurts a little when he first puts it in, and when he tries to go all the way in... sex doesn't even feel that 'amazing'. i asked my gyno, but he had no answer, was a little rude, and put me on BC. I'm a little embarrassed, but i really need an answer... btw, he's like 8 or nine inches i think...pretty normal right???

okay...i'm in college. younger than 21, older than 17; and i used to live in a REALLY strict house where sex is NOT talked about. right now i'm forcing myself to learn as i go. i get really embarassed asking these sorts of questions. I did dump the gyno (i'm with you guys, what an ***!!) and thank you for your answers. you guys rock :-)

Answer 1

You might want to find a new gyno if he doesn't want to talk about your sexual issues! From my experience, when my boyfriend and I started having sex I had similar pain because he was a little bigger than my previous partners. It took quite awhile for it to stop hurting a little bit when we'd first start having sex. Lube always helps a little bit too - are you getting enough foreplay? 8-9 inches is on the large end of the spectrum so that is probably your problem, if so don't worry it will go away and sex will start for feel amazing from start to finish!

Answer 2

Fact: virginity (hymen) is broken ONLY once. You mention the length of the penis but you failed to mention the girth (how big around). Sounds to me like he's too large and merely breaking ground as we guys say. The length normally is not a problem but the girth is. Normally the orifice of the vagina that has not had activity for a long while will shrink in diameter. I would recommend a lubricant until you adjust to his size. I am appalled at the gyno's attitude. Did you ask him to produce his diploma? What university did he get it from? Cracker Jack University of Idiot-ville USA? Doctors of all people MUST be sensitive to each patient otherwise can you imagine asking someone to "undress for the exam" and their last experience was a laughing situation that left hurt feelings? Dah! I would go find another Gynecologist and leave this bozo alone. I would also give him a "reference or two" when your girl friends ask whom do you recommend. I would say "Not Dr X,he's an idiot". I'm sure it wouldn't take long before his clientele will shrink. Now I'm being vindictive.

Answer 3

First off, I'm a guy. But I'm gay, and I had lots of sisters.
8 or 9 inches is a little above normal. Average is about 6. Every woman's vagina is shaped differently; just as differently as every guy's penis. Some women have smaller openings than others, and some women's vaginas are very shallow. If it feels ok if he only puts it in a little, but hurts when he goes deeper, you might have a shallow vag. Or maybe your vag is a little narrower than normal. Since you've only had sex a few times, it will probably get better with practice. A woman's pelvis widens slightly after her first few times with sex. You just may not have had a chance to adjust down there yet. And if you were nervous, it's possible that you may have been tensed up, which will definitely cause pain. As a gay man, I know about penetration, and if you aren't totally relaxed and ready for it, it will NOT be a good experience, even if you really want it to happen. You have to let your body open up, and if you are nervous or afraid, it will close tight. Check things out yourself (I know that can be weird, but it's worth it). Get to know yourself; try a finger, then try two, try different angles, and see what results you get.
My advice is two-fold. First, dump your gyno; he's a jerk. You need to fully trust anyone who's going to be up your skirt.
Secondly, run a warm bath, put on some nice music, and introduce yourself to yourself. Play around, get to know your vag; its size, its shape, the different parts, what makes it feel good, what makes it feel bad, what angles or areas feel better than others. That sounds goofy, but it will REALLY help. When you are comfortable with yourself, you will be more comfortable with your man. And you'll be more in-tune with what is happening down there when you have sex.

Answer 4

I would go see my gp or visit a well woman's centre (they are there for all kinds of things). Your gyno is someone who SHOULD be there to help u with worries like this so CHANGE him, the ***!! Maybe u just need to relax a little, it sounds like yr quite tense, maybe yr boyfriend has to spend a bit more time on activities before actual full sex. I don't think u have anything medical to worry about but just find an understanding NORMAL gyno or GP to speak too.

Answer 5

every womans body is different and we are closed built and for those who are very active sometimes wide open. Pleasse just remember to practice safe sex and it is a good idea to get married if you want to have lots of sex. Safe sex is better. When you first have sex it does hurt and all guys are not an 8 or 9 inch.

Answer 6

Why are you aggravating approximately going to a doctor? Get a girl if this is an argument. understand that the aspects of your physique that ought to be the main embarrassing are the main astounding. We create existence! this is the miracle of the organs which we are maximum worried approximately getting dealt with. remember docs try this all day on a daily basis. they only think of of retaining you healthful. If for this reason you hate to bypass to the surgeon, remember this, maximum each and every woman has a similar concern, and changing your physique of ideas is the main suitable ingredient you're able to do for you in case you % to stay healthful. merely think of of the marvels your physique is able to and verify you're as healthful as available. peace

Answer 7

If it isn't a lubrication issue, some women's muscles there are a bit stiff, so they can't dilate enough to fit everything comfortably. I've had 1 ex-wife and a few ex-GFs who had that problem.

If it's a tightness feeling not a painful dry rubbing feeling, then you may want to look into doing some dilation exercises. If you can't quite imagine what I mean, e-mail me, I'll pass on the routine my ex wife and I came up with, it worked like a charm.

Answer 8

You might be a little dry. Buy some lube and use liberally, especially on the outside. Your vagina just has to get used to it again. Since you only had sex once before and that was a while ago, your body doesn't really remember and never had the chance to get used to it. It will get better.

Answer 9

Your hymen is on the outside of your vagina, it's not way up in there...lol

Are you using lubrication? You need to also have a lot of foreplay, that will help also.

If your Gyno is rude about answering questions like that then you need to find another gyno, it sounds like he lacks the ability to be professional.

Answer 10

Hes OK, you aren't ready for sex. That is, hes not got you physically ready.
Frankly, if you can't spell hymen, I wonder if you should be doing it at all, maybe you body is telling you to wait a little longer, sometimes, especially if you are young you may not be physically ready for intercourse.
If you insist on doing this, then ask for more foreplay.
It is highly unlikely your hymen it up high, its far more likely you are with a boy who doesn't know what hes doing.