Someone talk some sense into me!?

Question

Okay...this is happening as we speak. My husband comes home from work and then tells me he's taking our 11 month old with him to the mall...just the two of him. Why am i feeling panicked and lost? and a bit left out? I know its good that they spend time together and that i get a moment to myself...but whenever she's out of my sight, i feel lost. Stories? Talk some sense into me!

Answer 1

My daughter is now 2 1/2. I like that my husband takes her out and does things with her, just the two of them. However at the same time I feel left out and worried. I think worrying is just part of motherhood. That and he doesn't come home when says he is going to, or answer his cellphone.

So try to relax, distract yourself. Do something that you've been meaning to do but haven't had the time. Chances are that they are Christmas shopping for you.
And make sure to check the diaper when they get home. Chances are that he won't have changed it.

Answer 2

Relax you 11 month old is with dad. There will come a time when you will be more than happy to have your 2 year old out of sight for a while. By then your husband will probably have lost interest in the me amd my kid excursions until around 8 or 10. Enjoy!

Answer 3

Here's what I would do because I'm like you. I would go to the mall with my hubby and baby a couple of times so I can see what they do THEN when they go I'm not trying to figure it all out and I can relax knowing that I'm not missing out on anything and can take some time for myself. My hubby has taken my daughter to the movies, Disneyland, etc. without me because I had to work. I was happy they were having fun together and was bummed I couldn't go. The next time, I made sure I could go so I didn't feel left out. I take my daughter lots of places without my hubby and he feels left out a lot so it's kind of good to know how he feels and then I make an effort to tell him all the great things about our day so he can enjoy the story.

Answer 4

I remember that feeling. My daughter had turned a year old and my neighbor wanted to take her and her kids to pick out a pumpkin for Halloween that year. The minute she got in their van I started crying because i'd never been apart from her. They were only gone for about 45 minutes but to me it was a long 45 minutes. After that first time, it became a little easier though to see her spend time with other people. As mothers, we don't get a whole lot of time to ourselves to just relax and enjoy the quiet. Don't worry, she's with your husband and he'll take good care of her. While they are away, why don't you do something for you..take a bubble bath, start reading a good book, watch a movie you've been wanting to see...enjoy the time you have alone before they get back. You deserve it!!

Answer 5

My hubby stole my baby 3 days after he was born to take him visiting while I was supposed to sleep. HA, all I did was pace and worry. It was 6 weeks later before he tore me away for 3 hours to go out for dinner and I was wreck. Fast forward to 4months old and I finally let him spend a night at his Grandma's and i drove her nuts with the phone calls and him nuts whining about missing him!

I'd say you're completely normal however you do have to break the ties sometimes. As baby gets older Daddy will probably take him more places, Grandparents will steal them, cousins (if close in age) and friends will want to do sleep overs. I don't know if it gets any easier but it's life, they are independent beings and will slowly develop their own lives, separate from you.

Like everyone has said, take this time to do something just for you that you normally wouldn't do when baby was around. Read a book, take a hot bath, do your toenails, etc...

Answer 6

I am a single mom and so I don't have that issue. BUT we were at companies and the guy was walking my baby around the house for a long time. My son loved it and was nodding off. I missed my son! I wanted to take him and when they walked out of the room and into the living room and back again, I was kinda more upset. I mean, now my 5 month old was in ANOTHER room. Even if only for 20 seconds. that is normal. It is what mothers do. I had a guy that wanted to date me and I tried to explain my 'invisible leash' that would only let me so far from my kids and only for so long before it acutally hurt my physically and I had to rush back to them. He didn't get it and rolled his eyes. Needless to say we didnt' talk much after that!

Answer 7

It sounds like your husband and the baby went to pick out Mommy a gift for the holidays.....

As a mom, it is not easy to be away from the kids. Whenever I leave my kids home with my husband, I feel very strange being out alone. Don't worry, they will be back soon. And you will have a nice holiday surprise :)

Answer 8

I use to be a real nut about that stuff so don't feel bad. Every mom *who cares about their kid* at one point or another feels that way. I would go to the mall to, he is probably just trying to give you a break. Just say that there is something that you need to look at etc... I never felt comfortable with them going alone, I was always afraid that he wasn't going to watch the baby the way that I would. You hear crazy stories about the people who kidnap kids and it makes you think crazy! Don't feel bad you are completly normal!

Answer 9

Lord Have Mercy! Are you kidding me? My ex used to come home, shut himself in the bedroom for half an hour to "wind down," then move out to the living room for the rest of the night in front of the TV, where I took care of the babies, cooked dinner, and made sure he always had a full glass of Pepsi on ice!

Thank your lucky stars you have somebody that comes straight home from work and gives YOU some me-time! How cool is that? Warm up a bubble bath, light some candles and RELAX!

It is normal to have separation anxiety with a young one, but this bonding time with her father is really important to her healthy self-esteem growing up.

Like I said, relax. Go unwind and rejuvenate yourself for when they come back. Think of it as repair time for yourself. We can be better more patient and sensible parents when we have time to kick back and reflect from time to time.

Answer 10

Dont worry, its normal to be that way. You just have to know that the baby is his as well, and he wants his time with her. Its alright, really. You just need to keep in mind that he wants to be connected to her, that is a great thing to know. Dont feel lost, she is a big part of your life right now and it makes complete sense to me that you feel lost or left out. Maybe one day you should tell him that you want to do that as a family, and make more suggestions about family things to do. Hope this helps hun.