Doesnt it irritate you when people use the term "Get Over It"?

Question

I understand that it can get annoying if someone constantly whines just to fill up space in the conversation and that can be the case sometimes but you can never be so certain that there actually isnt something hurting that person and they cannot just "get over it". It you dont want to deal with him/her than it's better to walk away from this individual rather than making such a harsh comment without being so sure that you fully understand the situation.

Answer 1

Yes, it can be like a dismissal. Look at the ex of the lady above who suffered from child abuse.

People can't be bothered to stop and listen so choose the easy way out meaning "oh shut up , I just do not want to listen!"
There is a lack of sympathy and empathy inherent to that phrase.

Of course sometimes.......it is appropriate for somebody, if said in a gentle manner, who has been grieving about something or is bothered by some situation for a long time without any real, really bothersome reason.

It is a bit like when people say " it will be alright, don't worry". Do they have a crystal ball or something ?. It is a way of shrugging you off sometimes.

"be grateful for what you have" is another one inducing guilt and not a helping phrase either. It usually make people bottle down feelings and make them feel worse and misunderstood.

as long as you 've got health...another myth

"cheer up..can't be that bad " crystal ball here again ? But most people do want to see you smile and it is backed up with good intentions.

As for the answerer above..........pain can not be measured. Somebody starving in Africa or somebody suffering from loss, emotional turnoil......it all amounts to the same.

Each person is unique, each situation is unique.

I do not think it has really ever helped anybody to be compared to somebody else. We all have a soul and we all get hurt in many different ways. Results are the same.

Answer 2

Sure, walking away without saying anything wouldn't rude or harsh..

Look, "get over it" is a term you should practice daily. Outside of an illness, disease or infection, pretty much all things can be gotten over with time.

What they are really telling you is "dont dwell on it, it only make it hurt worse" in most situations. They realize you're not able to get over it because you're talking about.

"talk about things then told to get over it" thats because by talking about things there is supposed to be a resolution to it all, incessant whining, regardless of how justified, irritates people all the time.

My grandfather used to tell me that whether you lived a great life or a troubled life, your crises are YOUR crises. What maybe a crisis to you is not to another, and may be unfathomable to someone else. So basically, you do need to get over it because there is always someone who went through worse.

Answer 3

Sometimes it would be nice for someone to take time to understand what is hurting someone.I have been put in the position where people p--s me off really bad.I`m talking about people that start crap for no other reason than to amuse themselves and there friends and be cruel to me.People should think about what they say to others.I could be the type of person that will take the last days of my life to kill them there friends and all of there family in a last desperate cry for true justice.About two months ago a guy that harassed me at work over racial issues trying to push my buttons and start a fight tried to get rehired after he was laid off and now I`m the boss and he is still unemployed he screwed himself with his stupid actions in the past.Sometimes people can push you to the point you can `t get over it and what happens to them is what they deserve.To tell someone that has a serious issue to get over it could be putting your own head on the chopping block because they could see you as another enemy and threat.When you watch the news about all the people that just kill as many as they can and then themselves was probably told to" just get over it."

Answer 4

Yes it can irritate me and no it doesn’t.

Generally people say that to you in a positive way. They see your pain, they may even understand and feel your pain, and perhaps they’ve even been there themselves and have had to get over it too. So they’re being kind by suggesting the best solution is to forgive and forget. That part doesn’t irritate me at all, I know they’re being kind within their limitations.

What is irritating to me, is that being told to get over something doesn’t make it happen. If I knew already how to get over the issue I’d not have been whining and hurting. It’s because I was hurting and I didn’t know how to deal with it, that I continue to hurt. To be told at that point to get over it does me no good. I already know I need to get over it, I’ve probably heard that advice several times already. But I don’t know how to do it. That’s what’s irritating.

Usually when someone has said that to me, I respond by saying: “How?” If I get an answer then perhaps I can heal and put it all behind me. If I don’t get an answer the advice is useless.

But you have to forgive them for that too. Often the way they got over it was to just allow enough years to pass for the memories to dull. That’s not really a good solution and to tell you to just hurt for years to get over it won’t help at all. Unfortunately though, it’s hard to find someone who does know how to come to grips with an issue and wrestle it to the ground. So in the end we’re stuck with many giving us heartfelt advice even though they haven’t a clue how to carry it out.

For myself, if I don’t know how to help I simply sympathize and feel with them, that’s really all I can do, be a caring friend as much as possible. And if I do know how to deal with it, I try to offer a few suggestions that they can do and that might help. I never say “get over it”, that never helped me and it sure won’t help anyone else.

I hope that helps a little.

Answer 5

The term "fence sitter" seems to be an irrelevant term to apply for agnostics. A fence implies the you're promptly in the path of two sides of a conflict, which, i've got faith, for many folk only isn't real. I used to call myself agnostic, and unknowingly attacked atheists with arguments consisting of "there is no absolute evidence that asserts God does not exist, for this reason you're yourselfs hypocrites." that's a valid factor, yet finally I discovered that the well-known public of atheists do no longer honestly have faith, one hundred%, that God does no longer exist. maximum atheists, consisting of Richard Dawkins, are what are common as Agnostic-Atheists, people who don't say there is honestly no probability that God exists, yet lean strongly in the direction of believing he/she does not. in my opinion, i've got faith that maximum agnostics are no longer only smack-dab in the path of this conflict, that maximum lean in the direction of one area or the different.

Answer 6

I get what your saying. I guess it depends on the situation. For example, if my parents were recently brutally murdered and I developed severe clinical depression. I wish somebody would tell me to get over it. Often times people don't know what to say when something horrible happens to another person. However, the phrase "get over it," is highly unacceptable in situations of death, serious injury, rape, and abuse.

Answer 7

I've been told to 'get over it' when talking about all the terrible abuse I went through as a child and teenager. It's not something you can just get over - it takes years of therapy.

And I find it funny that people say you need to talk about things to not bottle them up, and the moment you start you're told to get over it. It's stupid.

Answer 8

Yes, it's a very ignorant thing to say. People "get over it", by working through things at their own pace and time.

Answer 9

Its a blunt, forceful and upfront way of saying move on. Harsh as it may be, they may be trying to just make you see reality that its not as bad as you think it is.

Try to figure out their reason and intentions for saying it that way, else if you think you don't deserve that, tell them so!

Answer 10

Yep I agree if they care they would validate your feelings and try and help you by sharing some things that were hard for them to cope with and maybe share ideas of how they handle it