I dont understand why my boyfriend is so mean. Like today I asked him to come over and he didnt because he said he would be bored. Then he waits untill 5 minutes untill he has to go to work and calls me to see if i will take him i said no im sorry but you didnt come over today so ask you mom and his mom was home ( he only lives 5 houses down) So he walked to my house and said please take me i started to take him when we got into the car he started blaming me for dressing up for somone else (he always does it) Well once i droped him off at his work right before he got out he said *itch and shut the door i dont want to leave him i just want to know why he does it we have been togeahter for 4 years and we have a 1 year old so it wouldnt be easy i need some help please.
2007-12-05 09:28:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is feeling insecure in himself, and gets his 'kicks' by belittiling you. His mindgames give him control over you and will leave you weak if you don't get out! I am not saying he is using you, he probably loves you, but this is a sick form of love. It is about you 'giving', ie, driving him here and there, and him 'taking'. Jealousy, possesiveness and mindgames are the three common factors in these type of mens behaviour. So I would ask him to attend couple counselling with you, if only for the sake of your kid! If he refuses get out and re-build your self-esteem, regain control over your own life.
2007-12-05 09:49:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He dont have any respect for you. When a man can call you a ***** after he asked you to take him to work. If you dont have respect for yourself he would not have any for you , I understand it is very hard to raise a child without a parent but you can do better by yourself you dont need a man to make you feel good about yourself. Dont beg him to come over if he dont want to then leave him alone. The time you are wasting begging him to come over spend time with your child teach him or her love . Why would you want your child to hear his father disrespecting his mother then he would think that is normal these things happen from now and it turn into different levels of abuse before you get into worst situation walk.
No one can tell you what to do but if you have time take a sheet a paper right down all the positive things that he brings into your life and then on the other side write all the bad things and if thier is more bad than good run.
DONT LET ANY MANY DISRESPECT YOU.
2007-12-05 10:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by adb6311 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when you with someone that long of time they seem to be more comfortable so they feel they can say what they want and you wont get hurt. Its not right (me and my boyfriend 4 1/2 years) have our fights and he gets angry sometimes but he isn't always mean and he meets me half way. It is something you have to do back to them. If they upset you, let them know that but if he keeps hurting you then let him go unless he does more good than bad. I hope you make the right choices.
2007-12-05 09:58:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know hunny, there are men out there who are just clueless on how to treat a lady. Now...I have been thru a lot of relationships..and I've learned that you cannot settle. Even if you do have a child with this man. I'm 26 yrs old..and have been thru two major relationships lasting in over 2yrs each. I recently just started a new relationship with someone who I believe will treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated. I can't imagine being with someone who is insecure, rude..and childish. Seems like you don't want to play games...and you know what..sounds like this guy is still young minded and playing foolish relationship games. The longer you stick around in this relationship...the worse i see it getting. I don't think this man thinks you'll ever leave...since well you are the mother of his child. Therefore...his ways are already set in..and won't change. There are plenty of men out there..that will love you and your child. Just keep that in mind. Keep your head up..and stay strong. And just ask yourself what you think your worth..and your baby. You don't want your baby growing up seeing there father treating there mother like s*@!.
2007-12-05 09:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is emotional abusing you by just how he speaks to you and treats you in general. I think this relationship is going down the hill unless he steps up to the plate and decides if he wants to make the relationship work or not. Siince you both have a 1 year old that makes the situation more worse and harder for you to leave because you want to make it work out and I'm sure you love him. In cases like this he is the one with the problem and has to change not you. If he refuses be prepared to spend a few years of your life having him with that kind of attitude.
2007-12-05 09:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a taste of his own medicine. Start treating him as he treats you. Or even act like what he does has no affect on you. Or have you asked him why he is mean and hateful? If it does not get better, I would consider splitting up with him and start living a happier life. Especially if you have a little one. He or She should not have to see that much unhappiness. Life is too short. I wish the best of luck to you.
2007-12-05 09:38:38 · answer #6 · answered by homeschoolteech 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is playing a mind game on you. It is a way of controling you with him in that he is trying to control you by the way he treats and speaks to you. Even though you have a 1yr old together (you have the power) and you will have to put up with him for 17 more years, you don't have to take the way he treats you. Don't give in to him any more and stand your ground. There is no reason for you to put up with it. Lay down the law and tell him if he cannot treat you the way he treats his mother (or would won't someone to treat his child) then you cannot have a relationship with him. Trust me, been there done that and learned my lesson ( I am 40 and learned at 22). Don't waste your years on someone who cannot love you or trust you. Remember, love doesn't make you cry or hurt. There is someone out there just waiting for you to come into their life (with your child) who will love you and your child unconditionally. Drop the zero and find your hero honey. Good luck I wish you happiness. My motto in life is "we choose our own happiness"
2007-12-05 10:09:37 · answer #7 · answered by tweety17112 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Take it from me I been in the same place you are in I know its hard because you have a child with him but each time you allow him to treat you like that its telling him its ok and it isn't he has issues that are bothering him and he is taking it out on you trust me a man like that continues treating you in that way and it never stops. I would suggest to leave him if things don't change and stay firm with that ultimatum.
2007-12-05 09:57:10 · answer #8 · answered by Stella L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no respect for you and you can do better. Do you really want to be with some one like that. Try to take a brake from him let him get his act together. He needs to do a lot of grow up. Tell him how you feel and let him know he is being a J/A. Good luck.♥♥
2007-12-05 09:36:51 · answer #9 · answered by ♥LS♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would be easy. He sounds like a bully who has alot of problems including jealousy. You need to stop him bossing you around. He is name calling and belittling you. Whats next? It will only get worse.. You have a child to think about. Tell him he needs to stop. And if he doesnt take action for the sake of your child
2007-12-05 09:35:14 · answer #10 · answered by Freckles2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋