I just got married and now my husband has all kinds of health problems and i feel trapped and so unhappy....does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with all the stress??? FYI we are 21 years apart in age.
2007-12-05 09:27:43 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i can truly sympathize with you my husband is 22 years older than me and he has some health problems as well but pretty much anything can be helped with diet, exercise and and little blue pill (if you know what i mean) and he is the love of my life and i wouldn't change anything....but i know how stressful things can be when you are newly married and things get in the way...try a support group and just be there for him if you really love...if not and this is something you cant deal with then you need to think of your options because i am sure he would want you to be happy no matter what....good luck and all the best.
2007-12-05 09:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by blah blah blah 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
21 years is a pretty big gap. How big a gap is contingent on how old you are. Prior to your marriage, you must have had some indication that your soon to be husband had some health issues. Anytime a loved one is ill, there is stress. You may want to seek a support group for people in your situation. In the interim, take some time to rest, meditate, eat healthy and some of those "trapped" feelings may subside. and you can get some temporary peace within. Call on your friends. Yours and his.
2007-12-05 13:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by shoes_717 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one just gets health problems once they are married. I suspect he had them before you married and you didn't notice given health isn't a problem for you at your age.
Is it his health that has you feeling trapped or is it the marriage? You may want to think about your reasons for marriage and if he is the same person that you thought you married now.
How to cope? Try to understand things from his perspective. If he truly has all these health problems that suddenly surfaced...he must be overwhelmed too. If he is someone that ignores his health until he fell apart...then it is understandable that you could feel overwhelmed. Afterall, his health is not something you can fix.
Maybe that is a perspective that can help. His health is partially under his control and not under yours at all. Just being there for him and understanding that can help him through his hard time.
Try to be supporttive. Remember you can not control him in anyway...and then live your life.
If you continue to feel trapped and unhappy...consider that his health is not your problem at all...and do what you need to do to be happy. Marriage is for the good and the bad...but it also is a two way street.
2007-12-05 09:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Did you, or did you not understand the vows that you took when saying I do? For better, for worst, In sickness, and in health, till death do you part! You knew prior to accepting marriage and going through with all of this what it was to bring for you! Writing that question, makes you seem very selfish and self-centered..... If It's less then 30 days you can get it annulled, but anything after that you can get a divorce! I think and feel you are very immature, and you should never have even considered marriage even with the age gap of 21 years, because after reading something so very insensitive, knowing that he's ill, you might of felt the same way with a husband very near to your age as well! I am at a lost for words for you and I have no more to say or comment, my recommendation to you is fairly file for a divorce and allow what dignity your husband has to remain with him, and his family! I'll keep you and your husband in prayer because you need it! Furthermore, Karma has a way of coming at you in another form and fashion and when you least expect it! Always remember that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-12-05 09:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
DO YOU LOVE HIM? If you love him then what difference does the health issue play into it? Age is a number nothing more if you are compatiable then be together. He can get help and you can get counseling. Good Luck.
Momma_Bear
Ps- Divorce is not the correct answer unless you married for the wrong reasons.
2007-12-05 09:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by the_morris_bears 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm about to marry my best friend of spending two years and states away.he is 21 years older than me.I finally moved down here with him.his body does hurt him.but when your committed to take the good and the bad.often through my thoughts I do know one day he isn't gonna be able to do as much.but it won't ever chance the fact that I love him and promised on our wedding day to love him and take care of him amd cherish our love forever.sstay strong and be there for him.he needs you.pray for him!
2014-03-28 06:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by Julie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sickness doesn't care about age.
If you got sick, would you want your husband to stick by you and help you get healthy or go "Gee, well I guess I'm trapped now and so unhappy"?
I like the comment -- Wife Up.
2007-12-05 09:40:18 · answer #7 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
are you saying he suddenly had these health problems once he married you? I feel you should of known the pros and cons off the bat in regards to marrying a man that much older. at this point you should help him. that's what he needs more than anything, not to mention your support.
2007-12-05 09:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by mz_neemarie 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
What stress? It's him that's in pain!
You really should have thought about this before marriage. It is too late now, you have made your bed, it is time to lie in it.
My husband is 22 years older than me. We get through everything with good humour and a chiropractor.........
2007-12-05 09:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by ♫♪Bag♫♪ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How to have more true friends?
2017-03-08 18:42:22 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋