how do you get over someone who died??

Question

my sister died.....my heart is broken..and i know i will never get over it.but how do i go on?i cry every ten minutes!she was my only sister she died in a car crash and she was 17!!!help plz cuz i need it...it just happened a week ago.i feel empty

thanx but she was only 17.she didnt even graduate!she wanted to have kids and everything!!!and now she cant and i used to think about what i would do if this ever happened when she was alive and i thought that i dont even know what i would do!

Answer 1

I am so sorry for you and your family. No words can take away the pain and suffering you are feeling.

My husband died when I was 35 and we had two young children. My heart was broken and I thought I would never recover. However, there is truth in the saying that time heals, you just have to hang in there. Initially the pain is just total rawness, but as the days, weeks, and months pass, the rawness eases. Probably for a number of years, each time you think of her your heart will scream in agony, but what time does is that it allows us to slowly fill the void in our life with other happy memories as they occur along the way. We get used to them not being there, and not being able to talk to them and share our ideas, joy, and life with them, and slowly we heal. Some people say you will eventually get over it, you do not, you simply learn to adjust and be happy despite their not being there.

It is very important to share your grief with your family and friends. Cry whenever you need to, and talk about her as well - don't lock it up inside. Exercise (walking is good) to get the endorphins (the natural feel good brain chemical) producing in your brain, to counteract serious depression. Buy a boxing bag, this is a good way to get over the anger you will most likely feel during your grieving time. Anger and guilt can consume you, and you need an outlet. Anger because she has left you, anger at God, anger at the world, and at the sheer unfairness of it all. Anger because she is so young. Anger because it is the living that suffer, not the dead. Guilt because you are still living and she is gone. Guilt over past arguments or misunderstandings. Guilt for the time we should have said sorry but didn't. Guilt when you realise one day that it is evening and you hadn't thought of her during the day. Although our common sense dictates that these emotions are empty and unjustified emotions, nonetheless our distress will sooner or later cause us to feel them. This is part of the normal grieving process, so recognising it will help you to cope.

My heart breaks for you, and I myself am in tears for you now, knowing what you are suffering. But I also know that if you share your grief, you will mend, and you will learn to be happy again. Always remember that she would want you to be happy, so seek happiness and joy out. Never feel guilty for laughing and enjoying your life, for no doubt she would wish you to have her earthly share as well. When you are laughing, KNOW she is laughing with you too, and feel good that you are doing it for you both.

Answer 2

it takes time, theirs a grieving process that you will go through. Try to think about the good times. I've lost a lot of people, some family, some friends. It never gets easier and that feeling of emptiness is hard to get rid of. Try keeping yourself really busy. Like keep all your time consumed. Lean on other people. Let people do things to cheer you up. Don't shut anyone out. Talk to the school counselor or even just the nurse. You're not the only one hurting right now. I will keep you in my prayers and I will say a prayer for your sister.

Answer 3

It's okay to be sad and cry. I would cry, too. It's only been a week, and it is true that time heals all wounds.

You don't have to forget her, though. Maybe try to find something to honor your sister's memory. Something to help you grieve in a healthy way, like volunteering or running in a race or raising money for a good cause.

If you still are having problems coping after a few months, try talking to other family members, the pastor at your church, friends or a therapist about your feelings. It's not good to keep it in.

Hope this helps. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

You will feel that empty feeling for a long time. But it WILL begin to fill up with other things. The first step in Grieving is acceptance. You have to accept that she is gone and not coming back. Then you decide how your sister would want you to act. Just remember that noone that loves you would want you to stop living becuase of thier death. All you can do is keep her memory alive. Remember the good times you had together. And just give it time.
Talking will help too. Sharing memories of her with the rest of your family will help you know that your not the only one grieving her loss. I hope this helps and you have my sincerest condolences.

Answer 5

there are many steps to resolve grief. Crying every 10 minutes is not bad, tears have a way to cleanse the soul. Give yourself some time.
Life will never be normal again, but you have to adapt to a new normal, one that does not include the physical aspects of your sister. Fall back on your memories, (cherish the good ones, and let the bad ones go) fall back on faith (if you have one) and believe that time will heal you.

If you find that after several months go by and you still feel like you do now, talk to your funeral director (the one who took care of services) he/ she should have resources to help you find comfort. The funeral director should be able to refer you to a grief counselor or therapist if professional intervention is necessary.

Support groups, Church and family are also valuable places to find strength. Most of all, give yourself some time to grieve the loss, it is still new and raw. Suspend things that are not necessary and concentrate on the healing process. Take care of yourself mentally. What you are experiencing is a normal and necessary grief process, don't try to short change it.

My condolences.

Answer 6

You don't get over someone who died. Not ever. Not if you truly loved them. Instead, you celebrate their life. Think of the great, funny, interesting things that they were part of or created while they were here on earth. A week is not nearly enough time for your heart to begin to heal. It will take a while. You will be sad, cry, be angry at times, but remember, that she most likely would have wanted you to go on with your life and be happy. Like I said, start celebrating her life and you will be over the mourning process very soon. But never try to get over her, the pain will go away with time.

Answer 7

Having someone close to you die, such as a sister, brother, mom and dad is the worst thing. I know what you mean about crying every 10 minutes. In time, things will get easier. Right now, I know that isn't what you want to hear. But, its true...Remember the good times. No one can take them away...EVER!!! In time, the emptiness will go away...Until then, hang in there! You will get through this. Best wishes to you and my sincere sympathy goes to you and your family...You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Answer 8

I am so sorry for your loss!! Talk about all this with your friends, they love you, and will be glad be help. "a pain shared is a pain cut in 1/2", but this will take time, the pain will remain, but become more manageable with time! We lost r 5yr ole grandaughter in March 07, and times I set and smile and remember r good times, and there r days I cry like a lil boy!! I started writing a journal about her, as the pain gets easier, I'm just afraid I mite forget something? I will say prayers for you, and cherish her memory!!

Answer 9

I had been crying for my mom for years, and the other day, I wrote down a page of the best memories of her. I pretended that this would be the last remaining history of her life, so I included every detail. Then I put it where I could see it for a few days. It has helped me with the pain.

Definitely try writing about her.

Answer 10

My brother was murdered last year. It broke my heart so bad I felt like I couldn't breathe. I'm not over it. I cry when I'm alone, I'm crying now.

I wish I could tell you that it will go away, but I can't. But this pain you feel, it will fade a little, but you will have to learn to live with it.

I think of my brother everyday, most of the time I smile, but other times I cry.

It will get easier..I hope.