Is diivorce hard on a woman, or embarassing?

Question

How does she usually feel? Not judging anyone, I would just appreciate your honest opinions.

Answer 1

This is an everyone is different-a lot depends on WHY you got divorced.
Personally -- yeah, it was hard. My entire life changed. I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me. We were married 11 years and he said some pretty cruel things. My 6 year old was very angry and hated ME (we moved back to where I had family) I would say it was embarassing too. I was dumped. I didn't see it coming - that made me feel pretty stupid which is embarassing. I had a 9 month old when the divorce was final and I could not believe how many times I was asked if she was his or if that was the reason he divorced me - because she wasn't. Having my morals, loyalty, committment, etc questioned was pretty embarassing and hard. (He told me that he'd agreed to have another baby because he "thought it would help" is that the classic DUMB remark or what?) I didn't know there was a problem or I wouldn't have agreed!

On the other hand -- I have a friend who was on the other side (being the one who wanted the divorce) and she didn't seem to have any problems at all.

Answer 2

Well I am a pro at divorce. I have done it 3 times!!! I think it depends on the circumstances. I guess I can say that it can be embarrassing, however if the spouse was abusive then it is really hard. You have to deal with self esteem issues,depression,etc. The third time I was married, I did it out of pity for my ex. He was young and had a heart attack. He was scared and didn't want to be alone. He was afraid to die and never have known what it was to be a family person. Well big mistake. He became financially abusive and took money from my kids to drink. He became an alcoholic and stayed in a dead end job when he could have done alot more.
So that was an embarrassing situation but am glad I got out. IT was amicable but I really feel like it was silly.

Answer 3

I was married at 18 and divorced when I was 47. Three children, two in their teens and a smaller child of 5. I was left with nothing, in his country (that I loved) and he did a moonlight to another country to get out of maintenance payments. I paid his debts as best I could, kept my kids clean and fed, worked full time, and had to gather up their emotional instability of the whole thing. We both wanted the divorce, there was a slow painful leadup to it, which wasn't easy on the kids. But that is all in the past now. So... embarressing, in what respect? that you are suddenly very poor? that your kids cause problems at school due to the upset? that you can't afford school trips or are seen catching the bus cos the car was sold off? That you have to cadge lifts off of people to get to parents nite? That you sit by yourself at their presentation evenings and everyone asks 'where's so & so'...? Family get togethers and avoiding the grumpy unsupportive inlaws? There are times yes. Then you get all the 'male' supporters who come around act so concerned but the main thing on their mind is.. 'she hasn't had any for a while, I bet she's up for it'... had that too. But guess what! I'm back here in the UK, I've stood back on my feet, I breath and feel air go into my lungs again, my kids adore me and are good natured adults that have been thru the mill. I survived! Life is sunny again and I will admit in all honesty that altho it was a rough ride, I am the happiest I have ever been thanks!

Answer 4

I think it usually sux for both people involved in the divorce. We live in a society that assumes women are all better or more capable of being a parent than a man, so most of the time if there are kids involved, the dad only gets to see the kids on the weekend or every other weekend, so that is pretty harsh on the men. My friend got divorced and she has 50/50 custody with her ex, and that seems to work out a lot better.

Answer 5

It's hard, especially if you are becoming a single mother because of the divorce. Like me.
It's not embarrassing though. Heck, i'm only 31, and everyone I know is either divorced or in the process. It's not rare anymore. Which is really too bad.
The person the divorce hurts most is my son. He doesn't have both parents anymore, because his father chose drugs over us. I got out to protect us. It's certainly not how I expected things to turn out, but you take life as it comes.

Answer 6

It depends on the woman actually and depends on the circumstances that caused the divorce.

But most of the time divorce is hard on a woman because you marry a man and then something happens that causes you to split up. And divorces tend to be really ugly (he gets this, you get that) and its traumatizing for the kids.

You would hope that your marriage is forever but sometimes its not. The thought of divorce and why I would get a divorce scares me. If my husband cheated or got someone pregnant I would be devastated.

Answer 7

Divorce was never hard on me...marriage was worse. I'm not embarrassed at all. I'm proud that I had the strength to get myself out of a bad situation. A man doesn't deserve to have a good woman if he doesn't know how to treat or respect her. But as with any other kind of loss, like death, you go through a mourning period.

Answer 8

In my case, it was painful because my hopes got dashed. I also feel some guilt because I made a mistake when I married and because of that mistake I had to correct it later by getting divorced. There was the good though from it because I ended something that wasn't working and projected myself into a better, more healthy situation for my well-being. I felt so very connected to that person and it was very painful breaking off that connection.

Answer 9

Yes to both Qs. That is why I would rather turn my world upside down to connect with his world than get a divorce.

Kids are the #1 reason why it is hard.

Culture is the #1 reason why it is embarassing.

Answer 10

You sound young or very inexperience, but yes, divorce is very hard on a woman, on anyone I'm sure. I am a woman, divorced with 2 children. Though I was the one who wanted out after 18 years, it was hard, on both myself and my child. You feel like a failure. But, we all must live and learn.