Especially during the Holidays we are confronted with people we often feel conflicted about: I'm talking about family!
What are some of the ways you deal with family members you find difficult?
2007-12-05 08:27:07 · 23 answers · asked by Spiritual_Director_4_Women 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It is far too easy for us when we answer these questions to misinterpret their focus and intent.
This, like many of my questions, are asked out of curiousity and a genuine quest to understand.
2007-12-05 08:51:43 · update #1
I have some family members(by marriage only specifically) that i usually i just ignore. I think its best that way. Cause if you dont say anything you wont start nothing. Goes back to the old saying "if you cant say anything nice dont say it at all". So during the holidays i say hello and leave it at that.
2007-12-05 08:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by Gotta luv it! 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
At the end of the day these are people you are going to see again and again they are family. As to the conflict I try to put it behind me and love them. And then a new year starts up and they have an opportunity to mess up again or be a human being. At the gatherings I love them but keep my guard up such as not leaving my purse around or not even bringing a purse. From all the hurtful things that were said and done I was just taught to state my case about what I did or didnt like, ask them not to do it again and then forgive (Which I found out was a decision just like loving or hating someone.) Relay to them how it made me feel. Making every day a new day. Many of the things that were done was done out of caring so that helps too.
2007-12-05 08:41:17 · answer #2 · answered by Angel G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Business Management 101 says: KNOW your audience (person or people) through research to determine if there are any taboo subjects, actions or speech that is offensive, derogatory or improper before a speech. Simply said: Know your target. With strangers we feel at ease more so because if we say something improper chances are they will not call us to task about it or if they do .... so what we'll probably never set eyes on them again. Relatives and friends are a different set of people whom you WILL see and interact with tomorrow and the day afterward so you tend to shy away from saying something that might upset Uncle Jim or embarrass Aunt Tish. Personally I keep the topics "general" and discuss local popular events but will discuss anything the relative or friends brings up. When they "open the topic" I feel less obligated to guard their feelings. That lessens my stress in dealing with them.
2007-12-05 08:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm probably not the best one to answer this b/c I've had to disown my family (stuff that goes way back). But I find it harder to be good with family b/c they know you, they know your hard spots and then they also know how to attack that spot. At least with strangers, they don't want anything from you, and you don't expect anything from them. I'm broaching Christmas with my two kids without the family yet again but I'm happier without the falsities that were going on. My spouses side is no better. Sometimes it's easier shutting people who are negative to you, and family wouldn't be any different at least not for me.
2007-12-05 08:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is because you have no history with a stranger but your friends an family know everything about you so you get defensive in those conversations. an then there is the problem of older family members my not have total recall of some events, this can be frustrating
2007-12-05 08:34:12 · answer #5 · answered by als been a dad 3 times 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Re: friends and strangers..... Well, it's easy...you see your family very often. Well...Since we are all adults...Do not let there words or actions get to you because they know exactly what to say to get to you!! It's called unconditional LOVE! Sucks to think that family would make you feel this way but we're all human!
2007-12-05 08:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by Vloz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because roots and un-addressed problems grow over time in families, unless they talk about their problems and forgive each other. If you are passive-aggressive towards someone, that's a pretty good indicator of this.
Whereas a stranger has never offended you, they have a clean slate.
2007-12-05 08:31:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
easy! it is because you don't really know the person you are nice to, so therefore there is no reason not to be nice. but if you knew that person then you would care about them and what you do for them, people you don't know... well your just being polite, yes? plus being nice is easy when you don't haft to think about offending some one by accident.
2007-12-05 08:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a stranger is someone you have never had problems
with, family a different story.
sometimes if you cannot resolve your differences with
some family members as a last resort, avoid them.
2007-12-05 08:36:09 · answer #9 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had this issue many years, i have learned to simply be yourself and be kind to them, while inturn trying not to spend too much time with them. At anytime if you feel uncomfortable.. leave. Your in control.
2007-12-05 08:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋