Do you believe men and women are equal in a sexual encounter?

Question

Or do you believe that the woman is taken advantage of, unless there is commitment involved? The latter would indicate sex to be unequally pleasurable for men.

We are assuming both are consenting adults with free choices and there is no deception involved. It bothers me to view a woman who chose to have sex, being a "victim." Is it the actual experience that matters, or is it what "come out of it" that matters? The latter would mean women have sex, not because they enjoy having sex, but because they are looking to get something else in return afterwards, hence using sex as a tool. And if women are using sex as a tool to get something else in return, wouldn't that be manipulation? So, if an attempt to manipulate fails, you would be the victim?

Didn't the sexual liberation give us choices? How can we be victims, unless we are vicitims to our own bad decisions?

Jimmy: Equality in gain and pleasure LOL

Aml: I couldn't have said it any better!

Johnny: Just a month? I think it takes a bit longer than that to figure out the REAL person. lol

Johnny: I know of players who would stick around forever for the challenge of it.

Johnny: I would say 3 months should be long enough for the person to show his face...if he still turns out to be an a**, then there is most likely something wrong w/ your own judgement, not him.

Johny: Hahah...you must be an impatient player LOL

Johnny: Not sure about forever, but certainly a long time if I'm genuinely interested in the person. If not, my ADD kicks in.

Answer 1

I agree with Fred S. that women have the advantage in sexual encounters. Women are the pickier sex, and it usually falls on them to say "yes" or "no" to a man's advances. Because they are making a choice, they are not victims. Even if the woman is choosing to have a sexual encounter as a means to an end, she is not necessarily manipulating her partner. After all, he is getting something out of it too, and he has consented. As for being a victim if the manipulation fails, the woman still made a choice to have the encounter, so it does not matter.

So, yes I believe they are equal in a sexual encounter because both the men and women choose to engage. The only cases in which a person is victimized in a sexual encounter is cases where choice and free will are taken away, such as rape. So, if you are talking about consenting adults, there are no victims, only stupid mistakes. A person must deal with the consequences of his/her own bad decisions in matters of sex as in all matters of life.

Sexual liberation gave women greater control and freedom of their sexuality, but that freedom also comes with greater responsibility. Yes, there will always be men and women who will use sex for purposes other than pleasure, but it all comes down to individual responsibility really.

Answer 2

I think this question and some of the answers is leaving out the possibility that a woman would want to have sex for the sheer pleasure of it. Or that some woman want sex more than their male partners do, commitment or not. If it's consensual, there need not be talk of victimization.

If you tried to manipulate someone...shame on you. Don't cry about it afterward. Build a bridge and get over it.

If you regret the encounter, that doesn't make you a victim. It means you made a poor decision. Be more selective of your partners.

I tend to believe that the person that doesn't want sex as much holds more power over the person that wants it all the time.

Answer 3

The world has the view of women- they are supposed to sleep with their life partner and nobody else. Two people would be accepted, but no more. The world believes that no matter how many women men sleep with it's ok. I believe that men and women should be looked at as equals. I think that women believe they are victims because of the way that the world views how many sleeping partners a they should have. Men shouldn't have anymore right to sleep with as many people as they wish than women should

Answer 4

If they're both in it just to have fun, then yes, they are equal in the sexual encounter.

BUT, if either of them set up a pretense for a relationship in order to GET the sex in the first place (women do this too, by the way), it's obviously just as manipulative as using sex as a tool to get someone involved romantically with you afterwards.

Answer 5

I counted at least three separate questions in there. I'm charging your account 30 points.
I know, you are trying to be frugal after multiple violations, but this is sheer madness!

Where are you getting the idea that a woman choosing to have sex is a victim? Choice and victimhood are opposites. Only when manipulation, deception or force is involved is there a victim. Unless you are talking about only one party involved reaching org*sm. Cuz that 's really sad....

Answer 6

That is exactly what it is, being a victim to your own bad decision. That I am guilty of. But I also think it depends on the situation and all that, because you never know what is really going on behind those closed doors and what is being said.

Answer 7

There's the ancient Greek God, Ephanally (sp???) who lived as both man and woman and the story goes that a woman's experience is 1000 fold more intense than the man's; it is because the woman's experience is more intense that a man's never satisfied and this sends him on an endless search to find fulfillment.

Answer 8

You've got lots of questions here. But for the most part, its about a choice in a brief sexual encounter. Brief encounters make too many problems, so I say stay clear of them.

Answer 9

Claiming to have been "taken advantage of" by a man is just another peculiarly feminine ploy to avoid accountability for one's own actions.

If she doesn't get the [brass?] ring, she can boo-hoo about being "used."

If she gets it: well, she gets it. Payoff.

[AML, your answer is on the whole well reasoned and well put, but it leaves out one facet of manipulation that makes for an unfair "transaction", and that is deceit. When one party deceives the other into believing in motives that don't exist -- whether it's the guy who says "I love you" to get sex, or the girl that says "make love to me!" to marry into wealth -- then you can't say "all's fair..., let the buyer beware." Well... you can actually; but it still ain't right!]

Answer 10

Well, yes, of course they are.

But that does not mean that they have equal expectations.

Women tend to get their feelings hurt more often if the encounter does not lead to something more.

Which is ironic, since it's 'not leading to something more' is often the man's definition of success.

So here's the trick: Ladies, if it's a new guy, don't sleep with him until he's treated you right for a month.

Trust me on this one...