Pregnant and afraid?

Question

Help me please, I'm pregnant and I'm afraid to tell my husband. You see, my husband has told me more than once that he wasn't ready for a baby and that we should wait a few years. My pregnancy was ill timed and I'm afraid to tell him. Im afraid that he'll be angry. Can anyone give me any advice PLEASE, I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

You didn't create that child by yourself, you know. He's just as at fault as you are. You have to tell him and then step back and think about why you are so afraid of this man you are supposed to love.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that your afraid to talk to your husband about this. Ready or not, this is this situation, for BOTH OF YOU - not just you.
First let me say that the stress and anxiety your experiencing should be shared between the two of you, sounds like your keeping it on your shoulders alone. You need support right now. From him, and others. Like friends and family. Having a baby is a HUGE deal and you guys have a ton of things you need to be discussing.
I wouldn't put it off too much longer. I think you should tell him as soon as possible. Just let him know that you are aware that this wasn't something planned and that the timing is off...but regardless...here it is and you need his support. In my opinion, if he is a good man, he'll reassure you that no matter what he has your back and everything will be just fine.

Answer 3

First, congratulations. Every baby is a blessing, even if the timing is not.

I think you're going to have to just gather all your nerve and just do it.

A LOT of women have been where you are, including myself.

My husband and I had been married for a few months only, and didn't plan to have kids for a couple of years. We were young, and we were BROKE! When I told him, he was in shock at first. Then he went to the drug store, and when he got back, he sent me to the bathroom over and over again until the EPT "got it right." After about nine plus signs, "Pregnant" readouts, double lines and "blue" , I told him he could keep buying tests if he wanted to, but it was expensive and it was not going to make any difference in the answer.

But you know, he turned out to be one of the greatest dads I know. He just lives for our sons (four and six now). Even though we're separated, we're both completely committed to them, and to team parenting. I laugh now when I think about that first reaction.

That's not an uncommon scenario, though. He may have had his "druthers", but there IS a baby on the way, so you just adapt to the change in plans, making a NEW plan.

That "mistake" ended up being the best thing that ever happened -- to BOTH of us.

Just tell him, try to keep your composure, and give him a little time. He'll most likely warm up to the idea. That's why I'm glad there is a nine-month gestation period. You get nine months to process the knowledge that you're going to have a child, and to prepare for him or her.


P.S. He can't justifyably get TOO mad at you. Birth control is not 100% the woman's responsibility. If he felt that strongly about not wanting kids, he should have protected himself by using a condom.

Answer 4

I would just spit it out. There is no sense beating around the bush and the longer you wait the worse it will be. He might be angry but he should not stay that way. Do the two of you use contraceptives? How did you end up pregnant? You are both responsible for this and he should not blame you. Why are you afraid to make him angry?

Answer 5

Well, although he said he wasn't ready to have children honey...you are definitely pregnant and will be showing in no time. He might be disappointed but be honest with him. Go from there. And, besides, it isn't just about him on this. How do you feel about the pregnancy?? Remember...it took 2 to make a baby and 2 have to deal with the situation! Best of luck!

Answer 6

My husband and I agree that this is not the right time for us...but we also know that anything is possible and we should be ready for and surprises that come along. Everything happens for a reason. Just tell him that you know the plan was to wait... and you were all for that... but sometimes, you can't plan for everything. Perhaps he will be a little concerned at first...but it will grow on him. I am sure he will be happy... ill timed or not.

Answer 7

Honestly, you're never ready or prepared in every way for a baby. This baby was conceived from love (i'm assuming) and nothing is more beautiful than that. Don't be afraid, just tell him. You guys are going through this together~ don't hold it in and stress about it. It's not good for the baby.

Congratulations!

Answer 8

ok, first off, if you're afraid to tell your HUSBAND that you're pregnant...that sounds a little messed up. now i can understand a boyfriend being angry, but a husband? well, you seriously can NOT be thinking about abortion, right? this baby is a part of you and your husband. there are only 3 options
-put the child up for adoption
-kill the child. (look up abortion and see for yourself how cruel it is...)
-or take up your parental responsibilities.
just sit your man down and tell him. be brave. im praying for you.
good luck, may God watch over you and your angel.

Answer 9

Tell him. He should have to accept it. If he really was not interest in having children now and was so afraid of this fact than tell him he should not sleep or slept with you. Because there is always a small chance of these things happening no matter what kind of protection you both use.

Answer 10

Honey is this guy your husband or your father?
Last time I checked it takes two to make a baby so, he can blame himself as well unless you told him he could skeet adn you were protected but you really weren't
If you guys were doing the pull out method then, it's both your fault, so live with it man, it aint the end of the world, it's a beautiful thing.