we were together a yr she was in the army&got out in Aug,was moving up here,was supposed to stay with fam in D.C. for the wkend,instead she started talking about finding jobs there&a house for herself,stopped saying I love you&stopped calling me baby,told me she needed space.the only time she said she loved me was when she needed money&she got over$5,000from me.she just stopped calling me her phone is off&I had no way of contacting her,after a mth she called me asking me to help her shes about to possibly get arrested&Im her only aliby.that was thanksgiving day&I havent heard anything from her since.I still love her very much eventhough theres apart of me that hates her,we had alot of bad times,she was emotionally,psysically abussive&cheated several times.let me add she was my 1st everything.but I remember the good times.I still have no way to get in touch with her what should I do,about my feelings&helping her??
2007-12-05 07:31:30 · 18 answers · asked by shine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow you must be feeling really conflicted and confused right now. It sounds like she is a very messed up young woman too. The question is, do you really need that in your life?
We all know how it feels to love someone who has hurt you. It's one of the worse feelings there is. Do you trust her? Should you hate her? There are so many things to worry about.
Relationships are only partly about love. They're also about fulfilling each others emotional needs. She's done things that made you feel abandoned, unloved, pushed away, used and abused. That's not fulfilling emotional needs, that's just plain nasty. She probably doesn't mean to hurt you, but you haven't mentioned that she has even ackowledged how badly she screwed up or hor much she hurt you. She won't change. They don't change, not until they really lose someone because of their behaviour.
Change your number. Tell the police if she WAS with you on thanksgiving, but don't lie for her because I don't think she'd lie for you. You don't have to see her to tell the police the truth.
Because she was your first everyone, it's hard to imagine a day when you won't love her, when it won't hurt. But she's NOT the only one for you. There is someone else out there who will appreciate your love and won't hurt you as much. It's gonna be hrd to get over her but you can do it. And you can be happy again. Don't doubt that she was wrong for you. She was. Nobody would treat the One like that. She's not willing to make the effort to make you happy so you should find someone who DOES fulfill your needs!
Good luck!!
hug
Cara
2007-12-05 07:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like bad news that needs to stay as old news. Remember the good times and move on. The money she owes you was well spent. Pretend that was the price to see the real her and right amount to get her out of your life. Last thing stay away from her she may be breaking the law and get you involved.
2007-12-05 15:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isn't ever going to change. Get some therapy and refocus yourself or you will end up so disappointed with yourself and your life. You will be stronger when you move one, the scary part is the first step. With that being said I wouldn't step, I'd leap.
If you leap away a year from now you will be so amazed you were ever so blind to her ways! Do it for yourself. Love yourself. Re-read your question and pretend it is someone else writing it. What would you tell them to do? You already know the answer.
2007-12-05 15:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by ADC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love sucks, honestly you can have a lot of anger toward her, which is so understandable, but if she didn't do anything against the law and you were there to back her up, then do your part with the law, after don't talk to her again. people like her you just need to stay away, it will take a looooong time before your heart will heal, but I promise your feelings for her will diminish in time.
2007-12-05 15:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by Celi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Stacey B:
Well, as much as you love her, it sounds like she's pretty mixed up. I'd really recommend not getting involved with her.
She probably knows by know that you may be vulnerable to help her, especially after giving her 5 grand, so it probably would be very easy for her to drive you into a bigger hole.
2007-12-05 15:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by shaRT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a fine line between helping someone and letting them use you. she is using you. this woman has prove time and time again that she does not care or respect you. she only wants you for what you can give to her. it's time to cut all ties with her. i know it's painful when you find someone that you really love, they are your first everything, and they end up not being the person that you think they are. it's hard, but it's just one of life's lessons. it's up to you how long you are going to let her use you.
2007-12-05 15:36:30 · answer #6 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are this confused over this it is obvious that you do not have the mentality to hold up to a prosecutor questioning you about her alibi.
She probably figured that out and decided to use one of her criminal friends.
Do yourself a favor and stay away.
2007-12-05 15:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about helping her. She used you, don't let her do it again!!! In fact tell her you are going to file theft charges for the $5000.00 unless she repays you.
Good luck and stay strong. There are other women out there!
Semper Fi!!
2007-12-05 16:09:43 · answer #8 · answered by Lucius Vorenus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Let her go man. She is bad news. Cheaters cheat, simple as that. She is using you for money now. Say bye bye and keep your distance.
2007-12-05 15:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, don't answer that phone again....She is using you, and she is using your feelings to her advantage. You deserve so much more don't waste your time or your breath on her, keep looking mrs.right is out there just waiting for you.....
2007-12-05 15:36:44 · answer #10 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋