I've been married for over 15 years and have children. There is an attractive young lady who works on the same floor as me. As a guy, I couldn't help but stare sometimes, and I think she finally figured I was eyeing her. She started flirting with me from afar. I tried avoiding her once I noticed that, but then I started having feelings for her. I learned that she us also married. It seemed like she changed her mind about me because her flirtatious looks stopped. Then she was back at again. It's like a game. Now u have tried to completely avoid her, but it's diifficult when she's just down the hall. Was it my fault and did I lead her on? Now I think she's fallen for me and is probably wondering why i'm avoiding her.
2007-12-05 07:22:27 · 16 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go home and flirt with your wife. Take her on a weekend trip and spend time alone. Strenghthen your marraige!!
2007-12-05 07:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by im sure 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see any mention in here where you have actually talked to this woman about anything you have in common. I don't see where you went to lunch and discovered she is a great person who can be a great friend. The only reason you have 'feelings', is because you are slightly bored in your marriage and this woman is something new...
There are a couple of things you need to look at here:
First, wat what you are seeing of this person is just her 'good' side. Who is to say she is a decent person? Maybe she is flirting to get you in trouble at work. Another thing, flirting is dangerous all the time, because if you incorporate it into your personality, you start to do it with everyone and it seems like this young lady has that problem. You stop knowing if it is a game or specific to the person it's being directed toward.
Second, if she is married and flirting, then she either has 1) zero respect for her husband, 2) zero respect for her marriage, 3) zero respect for the work place, and 4) a lack of concern for people's feelings.
With just those two qualities, (and I could probably go on...) why would you profess to have feelings for someone like that?
You have known your wife, in a marriage, cohabitation for 15 years... maybe you've known her as a friend for longer. You KNOW what to expect and you know you are committed. Why screw it up for some girl who keeps playing games?
2007-12-05 07:38:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. It's your fault. Completely. You led her on, flirted with her and she picked up the bait. That was wrong - wrong - wrong.
the only thing you can do is level with her. Tell her you think she's very attractive but you don't want to take it any further than a really childish admiration because 1. you work together and office romances are really awkward - if not against company policy and 2 - more importantly - you're married to a fabulous woman whom you do not deserve at all - and have beautiful children and a good life - which would be really stupid to throw away on a fling for a pretty girl.
So the two of you agree to work together - even be pals - but quit the flirting - and the fantasizing and get back to work.
2007-12-05 07:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a game you started that you need to finish. It's not worth it. The grass is never greener on the other side. She has flirted and I know that it stroked your ego. Move and get over it. It's not worth your job or family. This is a test and it's up to you to pass or fail. Would it be ok for your wife of 15 years to flirt with a younger man?
2007-12-05 07:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by KSR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a ticking time bomb and you are an idiot if you dont difuse it right now. there is nothing to be gained but hurt and devestation from this and if you hurt your wife you will spend the rest of your miserable life paying for it i can promise you that. you will never ever be happy again and you will hurt and be alone and probably die that way....karma will getcha boy and i know from experience and it will getcha 10 fold. you will pay back sooooo much more than you hurt them....you better be careful....
2007-12-05 07:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by placidfury 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two golden rules of anyone contemplating cheating
1. Never Ever sleep with someone you work with
2. Never Ever sleep with a single woman, they have nothing to lose.
2007-12-05 07:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by huckleberryjoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's human nature to look at attractive people or pretty things...the looks are nothing to be worried about...now if there is touching involved or possibly some inuendos or suggestions then i'd be for avoiding her until then just proceed with caution....don't go out of your way to avoid somebody, she might just want to be a friend to you.
2007-12-05 07:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by Cupcakes Moosey! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, are you kidding. You stared at her until she noticed and now you want to know why she's looking at you the way she is. Yes, you lead her on and now you want to avoid her.
2007-12-05 07:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by madeam3 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who cares if she thinks that you are avoiding her!!! You Should be if you are attracted to her and are so worried about it shame on you! Stay away before disaster hits!
2007-12-05 07:27:49 · answer #9 · answered by Amberlyn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can either one of you "fall" for the other from a distance, that is ridiculous. You don't even know each other. Grow up.
2007-12-05 07:29:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋