He's leaving after 12 years!?

Question

My boyfriend and best friend of 12 years told me this weekend he needs to let me go. Not much reasoning behind it he feels he is not giving me what I deserve in a relationship. He is my best friend and I am totally devastated and heartbroken, We have 3 kids 1 of which is his (she is 9) and they are soo close she is his little mini me,,,they will absolutely crush her she is very sensitive and easily cries over anything. I know there isnt anyone else I know he would be going to a family members house to stay for now. I almost feel he needs a break more then a break up,,,I do everything for him he really has no idea the amount of stuff I do for this family on a daily basis. I am throwing up and havent really eaten anything in 4 days..he wants to stay until Christmas before he leaves. What the hell do I do?? I feel like a part of me is dying so please no nasty comments : (

I know everyone says they know but I know there is not anyone else...we are together all the time and we dont have that type of relationship we have been friends since we were 12 we talk open about everything...I was just asking should I let him stay til christmas for the kids and just suck it up or do I tell him to go now

Marriage is not an issue I do not believe that a piece of paper means anything ...it certainly doesnt mean there is no commitment. Since I have 2 children that are not his it was a financially better decision for me to not get married for personal reasons.

Answer 1

tell him to go now or it will be hell for you.I would like to say he is a b......d but it sounds to me like he is being honest. too many people stay in a relationship and fill it full of affairs and lies. I am not being nasty but l don't think he just needs a break l think he wants out and thats what hes told you. It is hard a break up with 3 children is devastating but please believe me it ain't the end of the world. You have a long road ahead of you but you can do it. Use christmas as an excuse to think about something else.He may well want a cosy christmas before he goes but thats tough he can't have his cake and eat it.You have put your heart and soul into this relationship and you are in shock. Don't shut out family at this time they will be your crutch untill you can deal with things. I have been where you are my ex came home from work one day and told me he was leaving l was left with 3 children. He came back but l ended up leaving him in the end. This could be the best thing thats happened to you, you don't want him if he doesn't want to be there.My thoughts are with you and your children. all the best xxxx

Answer 2

You need counselling sooner than later. After 12 years he is not the boyfriend but this is a commonlaw relationship and his child and your other two are very much involved. Recommend that you see a lawyer as well as there financial responsibilities that must be faced. Unfortunately, you are experiencing all the pain and heartbreak of divorce. The good thing is that the pain will eventually recede and your heart wont break. You are going to be very busy as the children must come first and you must be sure that you take care of your health. Try eating something today and make sure the children are fed. He wants to stay for Christmas? What you do will be a mark to start your future on. A good place to start may be packing his bag ready for him to leave when he gets home. The man you have loved is gone. If you don't have a job now then it's time to start looking. Only part of you feels like it's dying because of the pain you are in but you will get better. I'm not the least bit nasty but I have walked in your shoes and it's a great feeling when you are able to look back and find that you are living in very good shoes.

Answer 3

If the two of you have been together for 12 years and he hasn't married you after 3 children, then it is time to move on. I understand it will be hard on everyone, but it will be hard to live with a person who does not want to be with you. If he truly loves you, he will miss his family and hopefully see that it will be better to stay at home. If he doesn't feel that way then it would be best that he moves on. You don't want someone who does not want you!

Answer 4

Pray for the best, and be ready for the worst!! If he does leave, then you don't need him anyway, he's been gone along time, and is just getting around to leaving!! I was a single Dad w/3 kids, we were all devistated when she left, but we survived, "we had to", and so will you!! that was 20+ years ago, now have 7 grandkids, remarried (after kids were grown), and we all have a great life!! We laugh at her, & some of the crap she did now!! good luck stay strong, and for gods sakes DON'T BEG!!!

Answer 5

My uncle has been with a similar lady for two decades, or better efficient. they have not in any respect married (she change into married once before, and has toddlers from this wide-spread marriage), yet have lived at the same time on and stale. yet they have continuously been at the same time. Her grand toddlers look as a lot as him as if he were their grandfather, and he or she is amazingly a lot area of our relations to boot. i do not comprehend in the adventure that they have got ever considered marriage, yet what they have looks to paintings for them without it. they have stood by ability of one yet another by ability of two decades of frustrating circumstances and chuffed circumstances, even even as my uncle (a convalescing alcoholic) fell off the wagon and lost his drivers license because of a DUI. She has been an ethical compass, a buddy and a existence mate all without being married to him. although, this isn't for everybody, and in case you want better out of your 12 12 months courting, perchance you may be speaking for your boyfriend about the way you experience?

Answer 6

Stay strong for your kids. He probably does have someone else, and just does not want to tell you.

Move on because there is never a fix for that. Probably took him a long time to make the decision to tell you so he probably is in deep already.

Answer 7

well you have 20 days to try and fix this and if you want to keep him there with you all you will stop at nothing

Answer 8

in times like that we have no choice but to les go,and time will heal your wounds. believe me I'Ve been there.

Answer 9

Let him go.