today my father in law found out i'm pregnant and is highly upset. My mother in law knew time whole time but, kept it a secret knowing how he is. Well anyways his daughter had gotten pregnant years ago when she was 17 and he made her get an abortion but, even till today she's still with the same guy. Anyways my fiance doesn't believe in getting an abortion but, my father in law has threatened that if i don't get one we have to move out of his house. I know abortion is wrong and i'm stressing really bad because i have my ultrasound tomorrow and i had a positive test for the baby's spine development so, i may be losing the baby already. He comes home at five so i need all the answers i can get. Anyways my fiance & I tried to get married because that's there tradition, we even tried to have a puppy and he said no to all of it. What should i do should i stay or move out?
2007-12-05 07:17:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
we are not under age and we tried to get married because my boyfriend is Cambodian and in there culture you must be married. I'm 19 weeks pregnant and we tried to get married for his father to accept our child...
2007-12-05 07:28:38 · update #1
Why are you staying with someone who is trying to control you in such a horrible way? As soon as you can, get out. Both of you. Get married and get it together.
If you are over 18 this man should not be making life decisions for you.
2007-12-05 07:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by kckli 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are or what the entire situation is, but nobody has the right to take the decision to have a baby away from you. That's your choice, NOT his. And if he wants to throw you out or whatever, you better start calling friends, family and everyone you know ahead of time.
Now, let me state the year is 2007...DO NOT GET MARRIED BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT...that's how marriages end...this relationship will be under a lot of stress and legally tying yourself to another human being who maybe under the influence of your FIL. Your fiance may not be man enough to stand behind you, and you need to be prepared for that.
Do not EVER let someone tell you what's best for your body. Period! If you want to terminate the pregnancy due to the health risk or concern or the situation, that is your choice. But you need to understand it's a tragic event, it's painful and some women never recover from it emotionally. You need to weigh those choices for you. You need to stand up to your FIL and tell him that you will find a new place to live if he's going to be that way, because it's YOUR BABY, YOUR BODY, and YOUR LIFE. His opinion does not hold water. And if he can't handle it, tell him you hope his head explodes from frustration. :D that's what I did :D lol but I'm evil >:D
2007-12-05 15:29:32 · answer #2 · answered by Connie E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT, what do you mean you had the spine test so you may be losin gyour baby, they do that around 16 weeks for spinabifida and because your positive or have apossiblity of it does not mean you will lose the baby at all, my grandfather and his twin had mild forms and were fine 6'3 men... anyway, and what the hell does havign a puppy have anything to do with this, and you know what, move out, geez if you are of age and able and willing to have a baby then you should move out... dang, and what in the hell does we tried to get married mean just go get your license and get married, unless you both are under age which i am suspecting, but makes me say he is probably right.
2007-12-05 15:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by Kim B 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's an easy one. If he is threatening the life of your child, it's time to move out(and that's what he is doing). You will find a way to make it without his help. If you and your fiance stick together you will find a way. Contact social services for help, that's what they are there for.
Good luck on your ultrasound tomorrow. Your #1 job now is to protect your baby. That's what mothers do and you are one now(have been since the day of conception).
2007-12-05 15:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out, you don't need to be in a stressfull household like that and your father in law has NO say in you keeping this baby or not.
P.S....I'm sure your u/s will go fine, if your having the u/s due to an abnormal AFP test (aka triple screen, quad screen) there are Very very high false results with that test.
2007-12-05 15:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by still_crazy_mama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want the baby do what you need to do. No matter if the child is sick or not you need to make your decision. It should not be someone elses decision whether you keep your child or not. If you have to move out, if that means living in a shelter then do so but dont do what someone else wants you to do. good luck.
2007-12-05 15:22:47 · answer #6 · answered by kindra1988 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only you know the answer here , what do you want ? what does your partner want ? and what do you think about babys health ? if you can cope and manage all of this , you do it , cause that baby will get all the love it needs of you , whether people support you or not , families might av there opinion , but once the baby is here , im sure they would want to know there grandchild , its different when the babys here , but do what you want , its you that will ache , if you choose the wrong decision ,not them x
2007-12-05 15:31:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out that fater in law is NOT NOBODY to you! You need to become a mama bear aznd protect your baby from the big mean father in law ya know? thats ur job now.
2007-12-05 15:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by Lee's Wife 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move out! that man has nothing to say to you...he's evil! if u both work,get a place of u own of with other relatives. if u don't have a work,find one a.s.a.p.
good luck and take care of that baby on the way!
2007-12-05 15:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
move out ,you cant just kill your baby its wrong go find your own place or rent some where but come on who runs your life you or your father in law
2007-12-05 15:23:06 · answer #10 · answered by donna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋