Friend who smokes too much?

Question

I have a good friend who smokes the green stuff a lot. She always does it Friday and Saturday night--and I mean she smokes to get high, not has one hit--and almost always does it Thursday night, too. Sometimes she does it as many as four nights a week for several weeks in a row. The thing is, she's an adult, 24, and she has a job which she excels at. The issue here, for me, is not whether it's legal. I think it should be. But even if it were legal...three, four nights a week, with two of those being Friday and Saturday, where she aims to get pretty high...to me that seems like too much. It bothers me. I worry about her. I told her this, but she always just says she understands how I might think it's too much, but she can do what she wants. I think she does it because she is bored with her life, etc. Am I justified in pushing harder and telling her she has a problem. Please do not address legality in your answers; I would not say, "you shouldn't do it b/c it's illegal." while I wouldn't

do it for this reason, that's a non issue with her. So...as if it were legal...doing it three or four times a week, two of those nights getting really high...being unhappy if she doesn't have any... does this spell problem or not? Am I justified in trying to demand that she cut back (she would maybe listen to me)? I think it's a tough call. She is an adult. Her life is pretty much in order. But still...is escapism three or four nights a week ever ok? Is it just a matter of opinion? I should add, she doesn't do anything unseemly when high. She just chills out, watches movies; it's nothing like if she drank three or four nights a week. Maryj is a lot different. More manageable. But still...

The main reason I care, FYI, is the extremely high chance of lung cancer--weed is much more potent than cigs, at least according to some research. Also, if smoked a whole lot, it can become physiologically and definitely psychologically addictive. I think she already thinks she can't do without it. She always says, next time, when I run out I wo'nt get anymore...but then she does. I think she depends on it, which is why I'm concerned.

Answer 1

its no big deal lotsa people are functional potheads... its true


live and let live

Answer 2

I know people who drink nearly every night. They don't always get sloshed, but they have a couple of drinks every night. They never get to a point where they can't come in to work the next day, or are not taking care of kids, or anything like that.

While personally, I would LOVE to come home and have a couple puffs at night, I don't because it IS illegal, and I never want to be ready to change jobs, and have to worry about how long it's been since I last had some. I like it every now and then, but I stay completely away until they make it legal.

The way I always look at things when trying to figure out if something is in "excess" is "does this affect my day to day functions?" For her, if she can get everything she needs to get done while getting high at night, then she seems to know her limits. If she starts missing, or slacking off of work, or withdrawing from friends and family because it's getting in the way of her getting high, then she is starting to cross lines. That's all just IMO. :)

Answer 3

If she excels at her job, has friends who care about her, and is able to support herself, it sounds like she's doing alright despite the fact that she's getting high four days a week.

Unless her habit is having a distinctly negative impact on her life or is interfering with her ability to function, I don't think you should do any more than you already have (by warning her to be careful and watch out that it doesn't develop into a bigger problem).

Yeah, what she's doing isn't the healthiest of ways to escape boredom, but since marijuana isn't physically addictive, it's not quite the same as staging an intervention for a borderline alcoholic or developing cokehead. The more you harp on her about this, the more likely it is that she'll start avoiding you.

Be gently supportive and encourage her to do things that don't involve drugs, but otherwise, keep your nose out of her business unless her use is actually causing trouble.

Answer 4

First of all let me tell you that you are a great friend for telling her this! I have had this same problem in the past and my friend didn't listen to me either. She gave me replies like "It comes from the Earth, all natural not like cancer sticks." "It doesn't do anything, but make you feel good" and "it chills me out when I have problems" I never got through to her. But I say, she is grown and is only going to do what she wants. There is not need wasting your breathe to keep telling her. Just when she fires one up, just leave and don't be around her when she does it, and then if she's a true friend she'll want your company over the pot and everything is cool, and if she picks the pot over you, then she wasn't a real friend anyways. You're better than that! BEST OF LUCK
P.S. I did that to my friend, she picked the pot and we haven't hung out in years and it's the best thing that ever happened to me!

Answer 5

If she is excelling in her job and it's not interfering with her life, back off. I used to smoke 10 times a day every day of the week. So a few nights a week is not bad. I used to be high 24 hours a day and my life is great. I still smoke, not as much, but often enough. Let it go. She is not smoking that often.

Answer 6

She's your friend, you see this as this may hinder her, maybe health wise..It is natural for you to care.
If approaching her in regard to her health, and maybe expense, this might help. I would try.
Legality is not an issue with you and I DO understand that, but because it IS illegal it presents it's own problem to the table, since if caught it will bring other problems to her table.
Having said that, i think you have done what you can. Pushing her more i would think is going to eventually alienate her from you. Good Luck

Answer 7

I dont think that its a problem, its not hurting you. I know people in there 40's who smoke every night to get high, its just what some people need to chill out. I dont smoke at all, but I think if thats what some people need to just relax at the end of their day than thats what they need to do..some people have a drink to relax, some do breathing excersizes..and some just light up...it all depends on the person and what calms their nerves.

Answer 8

I'd say just be glad that's all she does. Remember that it could be so much worse. You have talked to her, so she knows your feelings, so you've done your part. If you keep on with the issue, you are going to push her away. Just accept the fact that that's what she likes to do. She's not making you do it, or not being friends with you because you don't. Just let her do her thing. Good luck with it!

Answer 9

If she's excelling at her job and living a good life, where's the issue. She's doing what works for her. Smoking is not like drinking where there are serious long term effects on your body and a possibility of addiction. As long as she's not harming herself or others, I would let it go. It sounds like you have the problem, not her.

Answer 10

I'm sure you do something 3-4 times a week that she probably finds to be "too much." Don't stress it before it's an issue at all. Different strokes for different folks.

Answer 11

Yes...this is a hard subject to address especially with friends b/c some to not want to admit that they have a problem. I know what you are going thru. I think her family and friends need to have an intervention with her before she kills her self. It is a gateway drug to other drugs. I have seen this situation before and it is a sad one that can be turned around only if they want help. It is all on them not on you. I am gonna leave you with this. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink.