Okay, so I don't really know what my issue is. But I do know I'm terrified of going all the way...having sex. I'm 20 and I've never really done it...gone all the way. I'm a virgin. I've never even been in a serious relationship before except the one I'm in right now. The whole thing is complicated...she's my best friend...but a whole lot more. Were like exclusively seeing each other but haven't put a label on our relationship yet. Anyway last night we almost did it, and I sort of freak out a bit. Everything was fine until she started to go down there...I'm so embarrassed to even write what she started to do. I'm not good at getting into details about sex. But I think you know what I mean. So maybe I'm not even a virgin anymore because of what she was doing. But anyway I freaked and she stopped but I started to cry. I felt so sick & stupid that I couldn't just let go...let it flow. She said she would wait until I'm ready. I’m not even sure why I was crying. It's not like I DON’T want to do it cause I DO. And all I can think about when I’m with her is making love to her. That’s all I dream about too. I know I’m so foolishly wired. So what the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I just do it?!
2007-12-05 06:07:19 · 14 answers · asked by chrissyopal 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
please, no ignorant answers.
2007-12-05 06:09:46 · update #1
Something so intimate comes with an awful lot of baggage and adjustment. There's nothing at all wrong with your feelings, it's just a matter of going about it gradually in your own time. Yes you're still a virgin, and there's nothing at all wrong with that! There's something wrong with people who just do it to do it. There's more to sex than that. There's caring and wanting also to please the person with whom you share this gift. If all you can think about is making love to her, talk it through with her. When the time is right you'll do it, don't push it before you're both ready.
2007-12-05 14:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by Fr. Al 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no longer some thing's incorrect with you. i'm 14, i'm continuously in circumstances like you, and also like you, in those conversations the position sex is the problem, i'm frequently both the only which begins it or the ''probability free'' one. compared to you, I understand sex thoroughly, and that i comprehend what each thing's like and all that. i can not say that i have been in an excellent style of sexual circumstances, or maybe as i'm in those, I better many times than not get excitement from them. you're likely insecure about it and have not had too a lot communicate about each thing, and also you hence don't experience gentle discussing it with anybody to bigger your comprehend-how. this is not any longer unusual or extraordinary. There are a good number of those who're abstinent and are chuffed with it. perchance you'll determine out your thoughts quickly, perchance no longer. yet in case you provide it time and not in any respect rigidity your self about some thing, then you honestly'll no longer have too a lot worry.
2016-10-25 12:15:43 · answer #2 · answered by lisbon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...well I'm a 19 year old virgin and I've never been in a serious relationship. I'm waiting to find a girlfriend right now. Anyway, I guess I feel the same way as you do. I really really want a girlfriend and to be intimate with her...but the thought of physically having sex kinda scares me a bit. It's just SO INTIMATE...I don't know if I could do it. I'm not used to being that close with someone. But I guess after a while, you will get more comfortable and be able to go all the way. But trust that there are a lot of people who feel the same way as you do. Good Luck!
2007-12-05 08:12:21 · answer #3 · answered by Moxie! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a little more common than you think. There are lots of reasons for being "afraid" of sex, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's good that you realise that you are afraid but you want to do something about it... that's an important part. You know that your fear seems to be irrational, and you want to fix it. If being with this girl and going very slowly isn't helping you overcome your fear, I sincerely suggest going to a therapist... fears like this is what they are there for. I know someone who was in the same situation who went to some therapy... it really helped her out.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I don't know your history and I also don't know what you were brought up to believe, which can be large factors in this. Try to think about what this could possibly be stemming from, and work from there.
2007-12-05 06:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by Sara H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should ask yourself why are you afraid of sex. Is it because you re afraid you migth catch some disease? Is it because you feel too much guilt when encountering sex or maybe you re just afraid of "connecting" with someone else on an intimate level. once you find out try to use a condomn or do it in a very private place or mastebrate for practice on a pillow or something(no offense).
then you ll get it rigth
2007-12-05 06:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Fehauk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 19, and have never had sex. There is no issue with it. Think how wonderful it is to awake and not wonder if you are pregnant (if you or straight or bi) or if you have an std (any sexual oreintation) its great. Do it when you are ready. There is alot of stuff out there, so be careful, sex is too dangerous to rush into these days.
2007-12-06 07:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by Pentagram 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing at all wrong with you. You aren't affraid of sex you couldn't ask this question if you were.You wouldn't even be asking the question if "you were ready", or maybe you aren't being honest with yourself about why you need to ask this question.
Please think before you go through with anything because you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. be real sure. With God's Love always, andrebrennan@yahoo.com
2007-12-05 09:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by andrebrennan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all calm down. There is nothing wrong with you. If this is your first time, then it is going to be tense. You can't rush it. You probably have to find out why you have a problem with her going down on you. This should be a excited passionate moment not a frightening one. Take time to find out if there is something more to this fear.
2007-12-05 06:22:31 · answer #8 · answered by gabriel l 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Neither nightfall nor early ejaculation is a disease. It happens with all persons. If you will do second sex within five hours, it will be all right.
2007-12-05 21:07:10 · answer #9 · answered by drkchandra123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything you don't want to do.
Your first time can be scary even when you are ready.
It's like anything else if you haven't done before it's scary
2007-12-05 06:53:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋