became friends with a single waitress from Hooters to the point where you stumbled across an email from hubby to waitress (platonic content, it was a link to an online quiz, quiz was sexual orientation that he sent to several other people).
She invited us both over to her house and we went and had a nice time. There was no flirting or any inappropriate behavior. Anything was probably imagined on my part.
But, now you know that they also have exchanged cell phone numbers, as that is how we got directions etc.
How would you handle this situation? To be paranoid and create possible turmoil for no reason? To let it go and possible miss some signs that should be paid attention to?
17 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
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2007-12-05 05:39:29 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, she didn't get the job at Hooters because she's ugly and has bad people skills. Don't worry, panic!
2007-12-05 05:50:15 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should stop this before it goes any further. I will tell you my situation. This new guy came to town and started hanging out with us(me and my husband). He was fun to be around and was always at our house. I started having more than just "friend" feelings for this guy. I loved his attention and he filled emptiness that my husband didnt. My feelings were out of control. Turns out the feelings were mutual. We hung out alot, talked on the phone alot and emailed alot. It got to the point where I wanted to be with him alone. After I crossed a few lines, I left my husband for this friend. I made a mistake. It is very unhealthy for a marriage or any kind of relationship. Put a stop to this before its too late. He might get pissed but its better to be safe than sorry. Anything can happen. Three is a crowd, no matter what he says. This could take a turn for the worse. When he is talking or emailing her... it should be you he does that with. Besides, isnt this how it all gets started as just being friends.... Fix this before its too late. Good luck!!
2007-12-05 05:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by jmc24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell your husband that you do not think he should be friends with a single Hooters girl, and that he needs to stop all contact with her. The reason they invited you over to her house is so that you will let your guard down. You see that they are "just friends" and that's all there is to it. She knows about you (that your husband is married) and nothing will happen. Next, your husband will want to hang out with her without you there, and you should be ok with it since you've hung around her too. Don't let it happen....don't just let it go. Make your husband change his cell number, get a new email, and stop all contact with her.
There's no reason why a married man should be best friends with a single Hooters girl. Stop it now.
2007-12-05 05:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough question. There are no signs at all of anything inappropriate yet a lot of people are probably judging this scenario because she's a single Hooters waitress. If anything, I wouldn't be ballistic about it. But I can see your concerns. Maybe I would talk to my hubby about it and be just flat out honest. Maybe something to the effect of, "I know there is nothing inappropriate about this friendship however it does rather bother me. I just wanted you to know that. I do trust you and it's because I love you that I'm concerned about the fact that she is a single Hooters waitress and her befriending you makes me worry what her motives might be." Something to that effect? It may indicate to him that you're not naive about anything but yet you do trust him and you just wanted to get your feelings off your chest. I personally would taper it off myself. I wouldn't really want to attend any parties at her house, etc. Right there, you may be furthering their "friendship" along without even realizing it. Good luck!
2007-12-05 05:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their playing footsies. You are being too trusting. After some thought and reading the other responses I have decided on a plan for you. Just do not confront him about this. But!!! Just quietly steer him away from this women. What was he doing at Hooters without you anyway. Just make more time to be with him and when he says anything about wanting to see this girl just quietly tell him that you had other things in mind for him and go with him somewhere or stay at home with him and keep him busy. Idleness breeds mischief. Keep him busy.
2007-12-05 06:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by 55 and trying 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I am in the same situation as you. My husband is friends with this attractive girl at where he works. And you know what, there is nothing me or you can do about it. I think right now, it is in our heads. I know that it drives me crazy. I keep on thinking of different scenarios what would happen between the two.
But when it comes down to it, nothing has happened between the two. They are just friends. It just bothers the hell out of me. The more insecure we get, the more we push away our husbands...and maybe into another woman's arm.
Do not get paranoid. If nothing has happened, let it be. Honestly. I still don't see how men and women can be friends without attraction...but maybe it can happen. Sorry for confusing you.
2007-12-05 06:01:51 · answer #6 · answered by sunnysideup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would worry. Just the fact that you are re-posting this question means that it is really bothering you. Let your husband know how you feel and ask him how he would feel if you were friends with a sigle "hot" guy. They say that it's possible for the opposite sex to be just friends and it is but there will also be sexual tension. Both of you being invited to her house is probably just a way to let your guard down. They may be just friends for now but who knows it may also develop into something. Just end it as soon as possible. Let him know that you don't appreciate him being friends with her. Even though he may say that they are just friends and accuse you of being insecure, ask him who is more important and save your marriage and hopefully he'll reassure you that he'll always choose you over any girl and will give you back your peace of mind. She is nothing to loose sleep over with and make him end the friendship.
2007-12-05 06:08:08 · answer #7 · answered by sincerely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If hes not being at all secretive then nothing to worry about and you have even been over to her home and it seemed friend wise then you might be looking to much into it. All the same if you have jealous feelings you do need to bring them to surface women tend to say they are fine when we are not so let hubby know about it because emotions like that held back will in time explode and in a bad way. Good luck to you.
2007-12-05 06:12:45 · answer #8 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...First off...Has he ever cheated on you??? I guess what I would do is tell him how I felt, tell him that I don't like how the girl has his cell phone number, even if they are just friends, and even if i've been to her house and had a good time. Would your husband like it if you were talking to some cute waiter from a nice resturant? And then, how did your husband come to know this girl? Does he frequent Hooters so much that they just became friends? Or what?
2007-12-05 05:50:02 · answer #9 · answered by Laura 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have anything to worry about. It is possible for married people to have platonic relationships with people of the opposite sex. Whether she works at Hooters or not is immaterial. She's not going to invite you over to her house if she's having an affair with your husband is she? It all comes down to whether or not you trust your husband.
2007-12-05 05:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by clare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, no this does not sound good at all, it doesn't matter if this women works at hooters or not, your husband does not need to exchanging cell numbers or email address with any other women, he is just inviting for trouble to occur, innocent or not. They are not going to flirt with you in there present, they are going to hid it, I would start checking his cell for numbers and text, you can click on her number and see how long the talked for, also check your phone bill also. Listen to gut feeling, this is bothering you for a reason.
2007-12-05 05:48:21 · answer #11 · answered by kelly 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋