We decided Wednesdays and Saturdays are daddy days. However, my son's father doesnt drive, so I always do all the driving. The ex lives about 35 miles from my home, and I work not quite halfway between my place and his. . . about 12 miles from my house. My grandma lives about 2 miles from work.
Last night some coworkers and I went out for Happy hour, and I dropped my son off at my grandma's. After I pick up my son, I realize I had to go home and sleep on the couch because my mattress was outside drying out all day and I cannot lift a Cal King mattress alone. So I asked two male friends (very old friends whom I've known considerably longer than my son's father) who live right next to my grandma's if they wouldnt mind helping me out. They also dont drive, so I said I would take them to my place then drive them back.
So my ex gets PO'd that I would drive to have them handle my mattress situation, but not to go and pick him up so he could do it (alone?) and also get to see our son.
2007-12-05 05:35:54 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just for the record - I did NOT drink alcohol at happy hour, you can order Iced Teas and get cheap appetizers all the same.
But I do appreciate everyone's concern about the safety of my son and I know that anything said regarding me drinking and driving was in his best interest.
2007-12-05 07:56:10 · update #1
This is a question of logic. You did exactly what anyone of us would have done. I'm glad you have good friends that have been tested over the years. That is more important than the feelings of an insecure man. And I comend you for helping him being a part of your son's life. good luck to you!
2007-12-05 05:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, no you were not wrong. and heres why, why would you drive 35 miles away to have ur ex husband help you with a mattress when you can have people who live closer to you help... i understand that hes probly upset aswell because he wanted to see his son but ur not together anymore and he gets to see his son on the days that you both decided, and he has to live with that. It also might have turned out to be an awkward expirience because it would have been the two of you alone, with your guys son. So just to re-cap, Nope you werent wrong... you prolly made the best choice.
2007-12-05 05:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by valerie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you did it on purpose to hurt his feelings. Maybe it just never occurred to you at the time that you could have driven your son over there. You were just trying to get your mattress into the house. There was no crime there.
However, you have to remember to keep the feelings of your ex in mind. Apologize if you did something wrong in his eyes, but explain with a lot of sympathy that you really and truely didn't mean to hurt him. Don't act like he's being a big baby about it--respect his emotions as a human being.
2007-12-05 05:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. The relationship between you and your ex is over. Even though that trip would have meant a little extra time with his son, this would have been a complete inconvenience to you. It's ridiculous for him to even argue with you about it. It's none of his business. If he would like to see his son more, get a bus pass, taxi money, or a driver's license.
2007-12-05 05:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by ashnperry 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I dont think you were wrong at all to do that. If your ex wants to see his son on off days, that you haven't arranged for, he needs to find his own means of transportation. You have no obligations.
Dont let him make you feel guilty for something that made your life a little easier.
He will just have to get over it!
2007-12-05 05:40:38 · answer #5 · answered by d.licious 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. He is your ex. The X means you are not obligated to him and he is not obligated to you. The only obligation the both of you have is to your son. And as far as I could see, the mattress has nothing to do with your son.
2007-12-05 05:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not in the wrong. He'll get over it.
He probably feels resposible for you and your son, even though there is a divorce. He feels insuperior if you get someone else to fix things in your house, probably. That was his job, in his mind, and getting someone else to do it is just plain insulting to him.
You didn't do anything wrong. You are divorced. He should get over the fact that he can't be there just because he wants to. It's not his place anymore.
2007-12-05 05:42:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you get the mattress outside in the first place?
2007-12-05 09:10:40 · answer #8 · answered by The Mrs. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last i checked it was ur car and u can put whoever u want in it 4 whatever u want when u want. He'll get over it. As long as he gets 2 c ur son...who cares? He's over the top and in ur business.
2007-12-05 05:40:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe he is just jealous he wasn't the one to help with your problem. I think what you did is fine! If it wan't his day then it shouldn't be an issue. If it was his day and you wouldn't take your son there it would be different. I would just let it go and let him get over it!
2007-12-05 05:41:21 · answer #10 · answered by Kendra04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋