How do you tell your spouse you want a divorce?

Question

I don't want to be hurtful or mean when I do it, and yes I am very scared what he will do when I tell him so I want an easy way as well as nice way.

I am wanting to ask my husband for a divorce but in a nice way. I know it is hard but I am very scared of him physically and mentally. I know he loves me but it is not helping our situation. I know we are both stressed, but he just keeps on being mentally abusive as well as sometimes as physically. Not hard stuff just throwing things at me (not beating me) I just dont know what todo.

Answer 1

DON'T! A nice man will come to the door with a cerified letter. Let him do his job. Be the First to file for divorce and don't let hunny know till the man shows up at the door. If your scared, be prepared with cell phone in hand and cops on speed dial.

Answer 2

I would love some more information before answering this. Has he ever been violent with you? Mentally abusive? When you say you're scared of what he'll do, what are you thinking of specifically? Do you want to me nice because you're afraid of what he's going to do or do you want to be nice because you're trying to soften the blow. Please add some more, I want to see if I can help with this. : )


OK. I'm trying to understand if you want to me nice about this because you're afraid of him and don't want him to hurt you in any way or if you're interested in being nice to keep the peace as much as possible or what. In any case, I think it's really important to be prepared like the others have mentioned. You don't know how he's going to react for sure. I would have everything I needed out of the house, safely stored at a friend's house or relatives so that you can go directly there after you tell him. This means all of your jewelry, clothing and any belongings that are important to you. I would tell him in a public place, like a restaurant where he'd have a hard time physically hurting you. If you're really scared, it would be a good idea to speak to your local police department and tell them your concerns. Let them know that you're going to be leaving your husband and that you're afraid. Give them notice! I suppose the "nicest" way to tell your husband would be to very calmly explain that you're not leaving him, but you're leaving the relationship for a while so that you can work on yourself. This will sort of plant the seed rather than drop the bomb. You could just tell him that you need time to sort things out by yourself and then later tell him that you're not going back to him. That will give him time to adjust to the situation and maybe he'll be less offended by it. Hopefully? I wouldn't blame him for anything since he's a hot head. It won't get you anywhere. Try not to put blame anywhere. Just say that you're unhappy with your life and need time away if the relationship's ever going to work. I can't stress this enough: Be prepared! Before you do any talking, like I said, have EVERYTHING you need taken care of so you can walk away from your house right then and there (well, walk away from the restaurant and not go back home) And I wouldn't go back home with him once you've told him! He may be calm in public only to go home and really get mad. Protect youself!!!

And don't forget to get all of your bank accounts closed before doing this, too! Get your money out before he takes it and makes your life impossible - don't forget credit cards, also. Cancel any of them that he can charge on and make you be responsible for the bills.

Answer 3

Honey, there is no easy way. Usually a man won't give up without a fight. Make plans.Think ahead. If you are afraid of him, have backup. Over dinner in a public resturant is less likely to bring an uproar. He won't want to make a scene. If he does, remember, you have backup.Be prepared afterwards to have a place to go that he will not find you. If your situation has become bad enough for divorce and you have made up your mind,then stand tall,meet it head on and roar like a lion. I don't mean act like a lion, be couragous. Lean on family right now,remember, blood is thicker than water.Good luck,hon.

Answer 4

Since he throws thing your could be next> Best to move out and have him served?You could sent him a singing gram>I want a divorce>I want a divorce> lalalal? That would be nice>There is no nice way > Be safe>

Answer 5

My God, there is no easy way. It is going to hurt him. Does he have any idea that this is going to occur? Have you two talked about it? If it's out of the blue, like it was to me, it was one of the worst days of my life. I have never used divorce and nice in the same sentence.

Answer 6

", I would like to get a divorce."

He's not going to like what you have to say regardless of how you say it, so I think short and to the point is probably best.