I work for my ex. We have been working together for 4 years. He owns the company and I'm the admin VP. This morning he was waiting for me at the office with the company's lawyer, he wants me to see a spychologist to deal with my
I am in my office crying all the tears a body can hold.
I don't know what to do, yes I have issues and I can not afford a good sphychologist that would help but on the other hand this meeting was so humiliating I could die right now.
2007-12-05 05:13:55 · 30 answers · asked by Jane Marple 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
088: I am not American, I'm French.
2007-12-05 06:02:06 · update #1
088: An I'm a University Graduate. You're ignorance about other Countries existing outside USA confirms you must not be a U graduate yourself .
2007-12-05 06:07:21 · update #2
WoW !!
Well - I can see how it would be somewhat humiliating, but if he was waiting at the office with th corporate lawyer in tow, then obviously these issues are affecting your productivity and the company's bottom line.....
With that said - try to look past your awkwardness right now. You state that you need the help, but cannot "afford" it right now. At least he's willing to help you out and have the company write off the treatment.
Its not like anyone besides him, you and the lawyer will ever KNOW about this. You should insist that their is total confidentiality on this issue (I'm pretty sure this is the law anyways - the lawyer can advise you / him on a suitable agreement).
You need treatment - he is offerring to help. Its as simple as that. At least he's willing to do that for you, he must not be a total *ss.
Most guys who have divorced their wives wouldn't 1) still employ them, or 2) offer to help them out like this.
I'd say count it as the small blessing it is (in this overall messy situation). Most people in your position would've been sent walking already ....
2007-12-05 05:22:04 · answer #1 · answered by aa889d 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you do have issues that are affecting your work, as humiliating as it may have felt..it could also be to your benefit.
Look at it this way, most companies would have taken you in the office and informed you that your personal life is taking over your work and that they are letting you go. At least they are offering to help you..and pay for it!! Try to look at the bright side, you obviously work for people that actually care about their employees. If you say no, they'll let you go and then what are you going to do?? You can apply for new jobs but what about when they want to call your last employer to see why you were let go??
I would get your crying out and go talk to them. Tell them that while you may have felt extremely embarrased by your meeting, you are grateful for their offer of assistance and will gladly take them up on it. Tell them that you never realized how much this was affecting your work and that this really was a wake-up call for you and you intend to work closely with the psychologist and deal with you issues so you can move on. Try to see this as an opportunity to take your life back on track.
Good luck.
2007-12-05 05:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by tinyavenger 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure you don't need to hear again that it's probably a bad idea that you are working for your ex. Most companies with strong HR structure do not allow it.
That aside, I don't believe he can force you into counseling or therapy. He can only performance manage you if you are not executing your job duties, whether it be because of divorce issues, skill, or other. I believe there are health laws like Hippa that protect an employee by having their health history discussed or probed by their employer (psychological help would fall under that.) They can only question things like alcohol or drug abuse, usually because there's written terms somewhere around those elements in the workplace. In the state of California, the above applies- you may need to check with your HR representative and/or your labor board for details. Good Luck!
2007-12-05 05:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by Taddy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, since you know you have issues and can't afford a psychologist, this is a good opportunity to utilize one.
Though it may have been humiliating, its not unlike you didn't already know it was necessary. Companies have a responsibility to their employees to offer help no questions asked, if an employee comes to them. But since your employer used to be your spouse, they felt obligated to take it one step further, I don't know whether it was ethical business wise, but it was on a personal level. Now if your issues are interfering with your working then be thankful that you have such an understanding employer because in most states they don't have to offer you squat.. If you choose not to accept the offer, then I suggest looking for another job and working out your issues on your own.
2007-12-05 05:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Put yourself together and chin up. If you fall apart and make a big issue out of it it will help their case to substantiate the apparent need of help.
Agree with the "help", you said it yourself that you can use some help addressing unresolved issues, but I do not know if they can legally ask you to force you to seek help, unless the issue violate company's policy.
If you feel that this was fueled by personal issues with yoru ex, then seek the help of an attorney... if this is a personal matter, he should keep it our of the company's time
Good luck a nd I'm sorry
2007-12-05 05:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your personal issues have started to take a toll on your work....Sounds like he trying to help you by offering you the chance to see a doc and the company will pay for it and the lawyer well that is to protect him and the company....If you were smart I would contact your lawyer and tell him what just happend or if you cant afford a lawyer then tell him you need to come to the sessions with me cause your the problem!!!
2007-12-05 05:55:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He said the company would pay, so you have nothing coming out of pocket. You admit to issues. Sometimes, I had an old boss say to me once, you have to be hit between the eyes with a two-by-four. For you own sake, go get the help. It might be the best thing you ever do for YOU. Also, your ex might be humiliated by having to do that.
2007-12-05 05:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by Scott M 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Got to move pass the feeling, woman up.... u need ur job right now and the therapy could help u to move pass somethings. I say take the offer and get what u can get out of it. Don't be foolish and cut ur head off spite ur nose. I understand u feel terrible about how this transpired but u have to look at the big picture..... Do I lose my job because I'm embarrassed and hurt or do I swallow this keep my job and live to fight another day??? The choice is ur's...... good luck!
2007-12-05 05:21:22 · answer #8 · answered by pokvet 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hold on,,,relax for a second. You are worth much much more than this. The idea of staying in a position where you will be in contact with him on a daily basis is hard enough. I think is time for you to forget the title, the money, the comfortable zone and focus in what will be best for you. All your focus should be concentrated in making sure no other human being, ever, will make you this unhappy. Life is short. Please take a step back. Take a vacation or a sick leave. Focus,,,think,,,,you will prevail, I have no doubt. Chin up,,,ok?
2007-12-05 05:27:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
In my previous existence i replaced right into a turkey at paris Hilton's abode, It took her 2 hours to stuff me, she crammed the incorrect end, you could no longer my humiliation, the discomfort, the indignation. in the event that they hadn't of cut back off my ft, i could have grew to become the instructions authentic part up.
2016-09-30 22:26:39 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋