15 years old and pregnant.?

Question

i made a big mistake, been with my boyfriend a year and a bit, known him nine year, never had sex before and bout 7 months ago, we desided to, since then we have had sex 3 times, im now finding out i may be pregnant, abportion is not an option, and im ready to deal with the consequenses and so is he, im 4 months in, and my parents are upset but agree to help, i dont know what to do. ? what would you do?. open to any options

keep in mind i realize i should have had sex, and that having this baby, could and probably will screw up my life, but it was MY mistake, and i wont take the easy way out, i want whats best for it and myself as well as my boyfriend

Answer 1

First of all, don't ever consider your own child a mistake... and don't think of your child as the bringer of all bad things in your life for the rest of your life... Sure you might have made a bad decision, but don't think the rest of your life will end up bad. You're only 15.. so very young.. and to think that the rest of your life will be already be determined as 'messed up' is a very negative way of looking at what could be the GREATEST blessing in your life.

You do have options other than abortion. I myself am against abortion... so like others have advised.. you could give it up for adoption... but parting from your own child (i would think) would be extremely difficult.

In terms of being a parent, learn... Your parents are probably still in the process of learning to be a parent themselves (assuming you don't have older siblings), but they've already been through the diaper stage.. their wisdom in this matter is ever so valuable... communicate with your parents and maintain that open communication...

I hope things do work out for you and best of luck w/ you pregnancy and relations...

Answer 2

Sounds like youve alrady made up your mind as to what youre going to do. Unless youre considering adoption? If this is the case, perhaps a family member could step in and take the responsibility. To say a baby will screw up your life is a bit extreme. However it is going to stunt your potential for growth. It doesnt matter how much you love each other, the two of you are new to the world yourselves. You should give yourselves the oppertunity to explore it without restrictions. A baby defenitely restricts you. Babies arent all that costly. Its as they grow so does the cost. So as time goes by and the thrill wears off you need to come up with even more money. It hard to stay excited when your always struggling. And no matter how faithful and committed to one another you are, a baby adds more strain to a relationship than all the rest of the factors. Whats done is done. You cant change it. You will grow from it.; If at all possible stay in school. Its your only hope for a good future. Trust me when I say, being financially stable makes a relationship so much easier. Expect that one or both of you may leave at some point. Maybe even for good. You are the Mother. You will have to be the foundation and strength of the family. Maybe if you were 25 or 30 this wouldnt be the case. But at your age, its how it will have to be. You will be ok. Just stay in school. Stay in school. Stay in school. Get a degree and you will find life so much easier.

Answer 3

PLEASE dont abort the baby, its not there fault. Have the baby and put it up for adoption. There are LOTS of options for adoption. You could have an open adoption. That means you usually get pictures and updates from the adoptive parents on how the child is doing. I've even seen and heard of stories where you can negotiate before the papers are signed to allow you to see the child a few times a year and still be a part of your life. Some adoptive parents actually perfer that because then the subject and issue of the biological parents arent so "taboo" Think about it. Even though your young its your baby so only you can make the decision. Look deep in your heart and you'll know what the right choice is for you.

Answer 4

Calm down.
First thing is to do some research.
Did you know there are programs out there that will help you with all of your expenses? Having a child at an early age is not uncommon any more so follow up and visit a program that unwed mothers attend to find out what it will be like to have a baby at a young age. Parents are normally willing to help but oh my gosh if you think your parents were difficult before wait until they expect you to care for a baby.
Just for the heck of it go out and apply for an apartment, job and try to buy a car. All the things parents need to provide for a child. Reality will set in pretty quick. Now don't expect to get an apartment, job or car because you are aminor and cannot sign a lease because it is a legal binding contract and you have to be 18 or older. It is Very difficult to get a job while your pregnant because it is a risk for the company. Car??? Well you have to have a job and credit not to mention a down payment.
Listen... I am not trying to exasperate you but give all of these things a reasonable try. For real..go out in the world and attempt adult, real life, everyday things that may help you make a decision about whether you are able financially, mentally, emotionally to care for a helpless infant, screaming toddler and school age child.
PS Go shopping and see how much you can buy for your unborn child right now today. Clothing? Diapers? Crib?
Consider adoption.
That will be the most adult decision you will be able to make for your child.
Peace

Answer 5

First of all I do not think you should have an abortion. Why would anyone want to kill something that is so beautiful and that is your own blood.
Second I do not think you should give it up for adoption. How would you feel if you were given up for adoption? How do you think your baby will feel?
When I was 15 I also came out prenant with my boyfriend. I am the best mom I can be. My son has everything I could ever wish for. I think having a baby is the best thing in the world. When you hold your baby in your hand I will promise you, you will cry. I think you should have your baby. Don't worry about what everyone else say, remember everyone talks. Just give your baby lots of love.

Answer 6

This is not a question for this web site. You should sit down with your parents (Note: You have good parents who will help)
and with the boy and his parents.
What is past is past. All of the people involved have to realize this fact. Now, you have to choose the future.
You basically have 3 or 4 options.
1. Abortion: This decision should be made by you and only you. I support the right of the woman to choose. But, that is my opinion and everyone has an opinion. You will decide based on your religious beliefs and what you decide is best for you.
I suggest that if abortion is your choice and your parents agree that you have the procedure done as quickly as possible. Only suggestion that I may make is to discuss this choice with a mature woman who has had the procedure.
2. Adoption is an option. This option may have some financial assistance to you and your family. Contact an adoption attorney and, perhaps, a good family will assist with the costs involved.
3. Keeping the child is your third and most expensive option. But, you sound like you have loving parents who will help.
Everyone on this web site will judge you. Ignore them. All of us have made mistakes in our lives, it is just you made a big one at a very early age.
Trust your parents and make the decision with them. I am sure that they love you and want only the best for you.

Answer 7

If you say this baby will screw up your life then yes you are doomed, Keep your head straight and do the right thing- Get a support system with your family and friends. FINISH SCHOOL- Get your drivers license in a year- A BABY DOESNT MEAN THE END OF YOUR LIFE- I am so sick of people saying and telling you- that YOUR LIFE IS OVER- it is now just beginning- Start beating the odds of teenage pregnancy- dont be a statistic- BEAT THE ODDS- Go to college, and be a wonderful mother- Life goes on- YOU DECIDE WETHER OR NOT IT WILL SUCK- or be a SUCCESS. Good luck in all that you do- A baby is not a burden- this is your consequence of choosing sex- make the best of it- you are all this baby has as an example for life and a mom- Make it worth it!

Answer 8

If abortion or adoption aren't options for you, than do the best you can with what you have. Don't count on your boyfriend sticking around for the long haul. They rarely do when they are so young. Your parents said they will help you so trust them and get an education, get a degree and get a good job. It is possible to still be successful even with a child. It will take hard work but you can do it if you really want to. Your life as a teen will no longer exist, but motherhood is a gift that must be cherished. Don't resent your child for what you will lose, love it for what you will gain. Best of luck to you and learn from this mistake.

Answer 9

Is adoption an option? That may be something to look into. There are so many families who want children and cannot have them. If not make sure you complete high school that is sooooooooooo important speak to your school counsler the may have programs that help you get through school and support you baby still. It wont be easy but you already seem to know that and dont look at it as ruining your life but a challenge you are ready to face head on. Dont be a statistic be the minority and graduate and support your baby well. I wish you only the best in the road you face.

Answer 10

First off I am really impressed with you for taking responsibility and wanting what is best.
Hopefully your boyfriend is as commited to you and the baby as you are. It sounds like your parents are taking it pretty well too, and the help you will get from them can make a huge difference.
I really think you should go through with it, stay with your boyfriend and your parents and just continue with your life. This baby might mess a couple of plans up, but don't think about that just think about what a blessing it will be in the future. Also, please don't drop out of school. I'm sure your parents will be happy to babysit while your at school and if not there are plenty of affordable or free daycare services.
All I can say is good luck and i hope everything works out for the best.