I have an exercise for homophobic people… PLEASE hear me out.?

Question

OK, please just do this ONE time & hopefully you will come away with a bit of understanding…

I want you to sit back in your computer chair, close your eyes, & picture yourself having intimate relations with someone of your sex.

Really picture it…

Now open your eyes & think about how it made you feel…

Let me guess… It felt wrong… It leaves you feeling ‘icky’… It makes you feel like you need a shower…

It feels as if it goes against every instinct in your body & mind, right?

I understand this reaction.

I understand how you feel because it is exactly how I feel when I picture being intimate with a person of the opposite sex. It feels 100%, flat out WRONG.

Just like you, there is no way that anything can change my mind about this…

I understand that I could stand in front of you 24/7 giving you arguments about how you need to change your mind & that it would do not a bit of good.

I could give you every reason I could ever think of and it would not change your mind right?

Well it works the same with you telling ME that what I feel is Wrong.

Please try to understand that it is the same way for me as it is for you… That the arguments go both ways…

Please, tell me why you believe that, after doing this exercise, you are convinced that you can change anyone’s stance on this…

p.s. I'm not "Revolted" by the idea of hetrosexual sex... I was in a hetro relationship for just shy of 5 years and something just never felt "Right" and I didn't enjoy it...

I realize now that I stayed because I was told it was what I SHOULD do before I came to terms with who I am...

I DO periodically find a male attractive but it is more of how I find a piece of artwork attractive...

I hven't "Given up" on men 100% but from past experience I realized that I felt that it was just... "Wrong" and not "Right" when I was with a male.

Answer 1

I see some individuals have already decided that there is no point to your question. Others are fine with it. Regardless of a perfectly accurate definition of homophobia, there are a few things that help me to understand what the world of homosexuality is like.

If a gay couple is involved in a lasting relationship, not unlike heterosexual marriages, the gay couple cannot hold hands in public. They cannot show any affection toward each other, even though society says it's "OK" for a man and a woman to be kissing in public. And yet the gay couple feels no less in love with each other than that man and woman.

They cannot show any outward signs of their sexuality for fear of losing their jobs, ridicule by co-workers (behind their backs, of course), and if one partner is seriously hurt in a car accident, the other is shunned by the family and maybe even the staff.

Of couse, inheritance is impossible. The family jumps up to claim any thing that might be left.

Naturally there are situations where both families of a gay couple are well adjusted, open minded, and accepting of their son/daughter's way of life. Sadly it is in the minority.

I am amazed at how many people think gays can just "think" their way into a heterosexual life style. From what I understand, that sort of an idea is ridiculous.

I attend a Unitarian Universalist church. We have a very open community which accepts people of all life styles. I have received great insights from our gay members. I find it troubling that many of the "good" religious people in the world find it SO difficult to accept a gay person.

I wonder often as to how someone listen to sermons, scriptures, and ministers talk about how everyone should love one another and disregard differences in race, social status, handicaps, and other things, yet still exclude homosexual life styles from that list. Worst yet, they fear gay individuals.

I suppose they fear any thing they don't understand. The fact that intimate relations would be included as part of the fear factor repulse them.

That is homophobia. Fear of homosexuals. After all, you never knows when it might rub off on you or your children! (Or, so they think.)

Regardless of what goes on in the bedroom, any devoted couple, same or opposited sex should have the same rights under the law. As it stands now, clearly a large segment of our society is missing out and being discriminated against.
I won't add a long list of all the creative, inspirational, and political people who are or were gay when they lived. The list is far too long.

I hava a bumper sticker on my car that reads, "Tolerance, believe in it." I think that says it all.

Answer 2

I don't think the term 'Homophobia' adequately describes many people's attitudes towards homosexuality. Maybe some people do actually have an irrational fear of LGBT people - though how they perceive it as a personal threat is beyond me. Your exercise demonstrates that having sex with a same sex partner is abhorant to many people - but no more, perhaps, that a gay or lesbian would feel about having sex with an opposite sex partner - which should help YOU appreciate their feelings. If it is not fear - then what? Some quote the scriptures of various religions - I'm Agnostic so that doesn't work for me. Some quote morality - thats a bit weak amongst all the other things we get up to. Some might say it is unnatural because the purpose of human relationships is to continue the species - an anthropological arguement - but lets face it, a few gays and lesbians arn't going to compete with the world population increase that is evident. What about: "its because they flaunt it" - well isn't that just a simple defense against feeling under threat and wanting the safety of belonging to a wider community where they can be themselves? The arguements fall down like a stack of cards. My attitude? - well, I don't choose it as a personal lifestyle and I don't need to test myself with an excercise in imagination. I cannot identify any personal threat to me or mine - or to the future of mankind. The gays I have known are usually colourful and friendly personalities, and I've never met one who has tried to 'convert' me (unlike many religious people). One doesn't have to accept one of the polar-opposite attitudes: - for them or against them. Just accept that they are as much a reality as you are and get on with your own thing.

Answer 3

i can see from the way you brought up the question "homophobic" people that you were just making a speech to the choir, but you did bring up an interesting point.

i don't think most gay people do feel revulsion by the thought of sex with the opp sex. mostly i felt overwhelmed, standing before an unclimbable majestic mountain called Woman

others have said that they feel nothing, it would be like sleeping with a cat, nothing, nada

i'm wondering what's with the revulsion thing?

something to think about anyway
best wishes

Answer 4

haha! you're right. That is a very good point, but unfortunately there is absolutely nothing to change a homophobic's mind. They think it is wrong and that gays will go to hell. Well i'm gay and i don't care what other people think is gonna happen to me. Nothing is wrong with being gay. But when someone is it affects you. For example, my parents are homophobic so i haven't told them about me. I'm actually scared they will hate me. The only true way to lose your homophobia is to imagine that your children are. It really works cause deep inside you will always love your children.

Answer 5

Paige does raise a good point - than many so-called homophobes are actually deep in the closet of denial themselves...

To them, they hate others because they are UNABLE to hate THEMSELVES - and they feel that these "wrong" thoughts of theirs can EASILY be erased by doing what they have been raised to believe is the "right" thing (which would be pursuing a hetero relationship).

Answer 6

This was incredibly long and pointless. First of all the definition of a homophobic is someone who has a unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality. The reason a homophobic IS a homophobic is because They CAN'T imagine being with someone of the same sex and enjoying it, so I'm sure your "exercise" will not have any effect on them at all, if they even choose to do it, which I'm sure they will not.

I thought for a while that heterosexuals were too consumed with homosexuals, I now see an epidemic of homosexuals consumed with heterosexuals.

btw secsidana, no I didn't

Answer 7

Yea this is actually a good point but homophobic people arent going to understand. They are very ignorrent for thinking the way they do.

Answer 8

Original idea, but won't work. Homophobia is something deeply rooted that goes far more than just a digust about a sexual act. Unfortunately for us the victims.

Answer 9

Actually, I read somewhere that 85% of homophobic people, have or had homosexual feelings towards someone of the same gender.

Answer 10

good exercise. I tried that method on another board I was on once, it had a good impact...btw, phree, you missed it allaway round...the point is not for the homophobe to ENJOY thinking about it.....read it again!