Am i crazy to stay with a girl who has lied to me about meeting guys in on line sex rooms?

Question

once or twice i caught her quickly closing apps and voiced my suspicions, she called me paranoid and got real angry. One day some1 was messaging her and she went to close it, i told her to answer and she did, telling me it was a girl called karen, the conversation went..Hi wheres your boyfriend, oh in the other room watching sport lol, came the reply. The next day i checked her archive, and sure enough she had sent a message saying pretend your name is karen not kevin. The next day i made her talk in front of me with him, after she begged me to stay, he said she had shown him her beasts etc and commented on his body when he stripped to his shorts etc. she denies that to this day, but why would he have to lie? I love her we have a child together but when she lied to my face about it and called me paranoid its hard to forget, i believe we live by our instincts and she brought mine to question. So am i mad to stay, will it work, over to you to do your oprah bit and hit me with the answers

I love porn, sex, love and women, i would let her have another man if she wanted so much i believe we are individuals not possesions, but its so hard to walk away when u love some1 so much and have a child., its the fact that she could lie to and deceive me, and carry on l when faced with it, how long would it have carried on, she says she probably wouldnt have told me if i hadnt found out. ty all and peace and love to your hearts this christmas

guess i just wanted some1 elses opinions its very hard to stand back and see it objectivly. Thank you all for your input and future input.

Answer 1

Can you trust her? If not, what kind of relationship do you think you will maintain without trust?

I'm sure you didn't want a question answered with a question, but I feel it's best that people learn to figure out their own problems.

Answer 2

You are not crazy to stay with her, but in order for you to have the type of trust between each other that you need to have a happy, healthy relationship some things need to change.

The first thing you need to find out it how committed she is to this relationship. You said she begged you to stay - is she at the point where she's truly willing to do just about anything to save your relationship? If so, the answer is counseling.

There is a reason that she's doing what she's doing. Maybe she has low self-esteem and feles that she needs strangers to tell her how sexy she is. Maybe there's another problem, but there is no way that this problem can be fixed without counseling. I would ideally suggest both couples couseling and individual counseling for your girl, but either one would be a good start.

She needs to figure out WHY she's doing what she's doing before it can stop and you build up a new relationship.

Answer 3

have you ever watched or read porn? thats probably all it is. we all have our vice's. if she isn't paying you enough attention, then you probably have a bit of a problem that you both need to address. how long have you been together? is it really worth ending what you have together because she likes to look at a bit of mild porn and occasionally flirt with someone she will never meet...??because thats probably all it is. can you honestly say that you dont fantasise about other women when you're 'alone'?? we wouldnt be human if we didnt smell the grass on the other side occasionally, it reminds us of what we have got, how good it is and how much we want it! if it doesnt and we actually preffer the other side's green green grass....then it was never meant to be anyway

Answer 4

Yes, it will work. You have to tell her how you feel and if she really cares about you and the child you have together, then she will respect your opinion and stop doing that. I suppose the easiest thing to do is to take the computer out of your home. I have one at work but not at home. If you really want to test her, then do that and see how mad she gets. If things continue to worsen, you should go to couples counseling or marriage counseling. You need to try for your child's sake though. Your child did not ask to be brought into a non-functional parent relationship. You owe trying to work on it to your child. your child's feelings come first in this situation.

Answer 5

She is bad news.....and it is easy to say get rid of her, but make sure that you have visitation or cutody of your child. It is always easy to say leave, but when there are kids involved things are much more difficult. Maybe she needs a reality check at how good she has it. Just tell her that either she quits or you leave. Get the child guard software and put it on the computer so she can't do these things. If she really is serious about not doing it she won't care if you do that right. If she freaks out that means that she has no intentions of stopping and she is a looser

Answer 6

I wish I had a good answer for you! I just had to comment because that was the best conclusion to a question that I have seen in a long time. I am referring to the "over to you to do your Oprah bit"! Ha ha cute line.

Answer 7

You need to either forgive her or leave her. The choice is only yours. Do you think she will do it again? Has she lied about other stuff? Just because you have a child together does not mean you have to be in a relationship with your girlfriend.

Answer 8

Leave her dude. She will do this to anyone. Really, this chick just wants it with the next guy who walks into the room. Get away from this broad as fast as you can and find someone who understands love.

Answer 9

If I were you I would have a heart to heart and ask her why she felt she needed to lie. If she keeps telling you that your are crazy you'll have to move on; especially when you know for sure she not being honest with you.

Answer 10

Dude, this little sauce box is going to cause even bigger heartache down the road. Don't stay with her boy, she is some bad news. Before you know it, you'll come home one day to find your girl getting dressed and some dude still in your bed, and that's gonna sux. whatever heartache you endure now by breaking it off, you'll save yourself 1,000,000 times more ache by not seeing your girl being "taken care of" by another man.