Whom??? Or who??? What's correct in case of -?

Question

who/whom did she tell???

Who/whom was he there for???

its he who/whom u can trust???

Im not sure very often when to use who and when to use whom????

Any help???

Answer 1

I don't blame you for the confusion. Many grammarians have a simple rule they ask us to apply (I'll get to that in a moment). But when you do it often sounds very stuffy or awkward, and almost no one would ever SAY it that way. There's a reason for that which has to do with OTHER features of English, as I'll try to explain.

I hope you'll we willing to sweat this out with me, and find it not too hard, and maybe helpful! But, to anticipate my conclusion. In modern SPOKEN English you are usually best off saying "who" in ALL cases, EXCEPT immediately after a preposition ("to whom").

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GRAMMAR (A): Subjects, Objects and "Case Endings"

First, the grammarians "rule" --

ORIGINALLY, "who" was the simple form of the word, used when it is the SUBJECT of a sentence (the one doing the action), and "whom" was used for the OBJECT. This parallels pronouns like

he, they (subject)
him, them (object)

Note the -m at the end of all of these. (In the case of "I" the object-form is "me". This "m" has a different origin, but it may help you to remember which are the OBJECT forms. The only pronoun that changes in its different uses is "she" (subject) / "her" (object).)

These special differences in forms are based on HOW the word functions in the sentence and are called "cases". (The basic cases are subject, object, possessive [the last found in --mine, yours, his, hers, its, ours, yours, theirs... and 'whose'].

If this was all there was to think about, the answers would be simple. But since certain features like "case endings" have become less important, the way we speak has changed.

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GRAMMAR (B): Using "Case" and/or Word Order

In OLD English --as still in many modern European languages-- ALL nouns and pronouns had different forms (usually different endings or "case endings") to indicate the case, that is, the function of the word in that sentence.

BUT this whole system and MOST of the endings died out in the course of Middle English. By the time MODERN English (think 1450 for 'early modern'... to the present) there were VERY few 'case forms' left, and they have a very limited function in the language. In its place, WORD ORDER has become the main way we indicate the function of a word.

For example: in ENGLISH -- "The man bit the dog" and "The dog bit the man" are clearly different in meaning. But unlike other languages (including Old English) we make the meaning clear not by forms or endings but by the ORDER of the words. And the USUAL basic order is "Subject -Verb - Object" (Thus "The dog [subject] + bit [verb] + the man [object]").

As a result of this common order and the RARE use of case in English, it sounds better to use "Who" at the start of a sentence, whether it's technically the subject or object. Similiarly, it sounds more naturally to say "It's ME" (because we expect "me" at the end, since that is usually the "object position") instead of the formal-sounding "It is I" grammarians tell us is "correct".

One other "word order" issue -- PREPOSITIONS are followed by OBJECTS. Thus we EXPECT "to whom", "for whom" (as in "for whom the bell tolls").


Note too that when we ask questions (who, what, when, etc) the 'question word' usually goes at the BEGINNING, that is, in the "subject position". Thus in the two question-examples you give, the who/whom ends up the place where "who" seems most natural.
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Now, back to your question --

Based on the old subject/object rule and the different case forms, you supposedly would say:

"Whom did she tell?" (Note that the answer might be: "She told HIM" -- 'she' as subject, 'him' , which corresponds with 'whom', as object)
** This one's OK, and people probably won't mind if you say it this way, especially since it's so short and direct, but some may think it "stuffy"

"It's he whom you can trust" -- the underlying sentence is "You can trust him"
** Again, you MIGHT be "allowed" to say this. Personally, though, the whole sentence is a bit odd, and I'd look for a way to re-phrase it and avoid the issue. (For example: "HE is the one you can trust" --short for "He is the one whom you can trust", but we don't really need this "who(m)" to make the point clear. Note that in this case "who" not an "interrogative pronoun", but a "relative pronoun", which is why we are find a way to eliminate it.)

"Whom was he there for?" -- Well, that's what the RULE says, as you can again see from th answer "He was there for HER" ("her" is the object).

This last one shows the real problem. It sounds quite unnatural, and few if any will speak this way. Notice, though, that the ANSWER sounds find. That's partly because we USE the forms me,him,her, them so much more and are clear about them. But it is ALSO the fact that the expression is "FOR her" (that is, the object comes AFTER a preposition), and is at the END of a sentence.

Note that again -- if you use it at the END, or especially after a PREPOSITION (which is another CLEAR way we see that something is an OBJECT) then the object-form sounds more natural.

THUS, it sounds OK to say "To whom should I address this". But if I separate the pronoun and preposition it sounds more natural to say "Who should I address this to" (because the "who(m)" is at the beginining [normal "subject position"] and is NOT after a preposition.
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That leads back to the suggestion I made at the start -- "Who" at the begining, "whom" after a preposition (or, if that still sounds stuffy, rephrase it all, e.g., by moving the preposition)

The "ordinary spoken English" answers then are:

"Who did she tell?" (though "whom" is allowed)
"He is the one you can trust" (don't mess around with it!!)
"Who was he there for?" OR "For whom was he there" (though the latter sounds a bit too formal, and you will usually want to avoid it except in more formal statements)

Answer 2

Who, who and who. When you add the word "to", then whom comes into play. I hope this helps!

Answer 3

man, now I am confused....LOL