I am at my wits end... we have a 7 yr old boy and 4 yr old girl and just a 6 month old german sheperd puppy. When my husband comes home from work, which is usually 8 hours., he goes straight to the puppy and basically ignores the kids. I have tried telling him about it and nothing changes. I feel that its a lost cause. But he has never really payed any attention to the kids.
How would you deal?
2007-12-05 01:21:16 · 25 answers · asked by luv my gsd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the dog is the kids dog, I cant get rid of it. they waited so long for one, and it would break their hearts. its not only the dog though, if its not the dog, then its tv or the car or his friends. he never has time for the kids. and it breaks my heart to see the kids have to go through this, I play with them as much as i can but my son is old enough that he sees what goes on and asks me questions as to why is his dad not like his friends dad, why does dad not want to play with me, and why is dad so mean..... Its so hard to deal with all this myself.
2007-12-05 01:32:50 · update #1
I am a huge dog lover and I want kids so bad, tell him your observations, he'll more than likely think you're crazy. Not saying that you are, just what he's gonna think. Before you confront him, to corroborate your story take note of what he does when he comes home chronologically and the amount of time he spends with the dog and the kids.
2007-12-05 01:26:53 · answer #1 · answered by HotSteel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would NOT allow this - it is not the dogs fault - it is YOUR fault. WHY?? Because you ALLOW it. Hubby is NOT going to magically change his "normal" routine and suddenly become interested in his kids!! THAT would take serious effort and he would have to use his brain - - too much to ask of this guy. SO, what CAN you do??
You CAN tell him that his lack of ability to interact with the kids is having a serious and harmful effect on them - AND your marriage. Apologize for allowing him to do this for this long, THEN tell him it will NOT be tolerated any more. NEW RULE: KIDS FIRST, anything else afterward. Either he learns how to do this NOW, or he must go. Give him two weeks, but no more. Once he realizes you ARE serious and not just a lot of hot air, he MIGHT start to wake up. Allowing him to live in the same house as the kids, BUT not BEING there for the kids, is causing serious emotional damage to the kids - YOU are their Momma Bear - so protect those cubs with everything you've got!! If you have to throw Papa out of the den for the good of the cubs, then by all means get on it.
2007-12-05 02:34:21 · answer #2 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a man who had been like that for years and it was hard to live like that. We did finally get divorced after the three children were grown and gone. My ex would not even do anything for my kids but would always do things for his friends kids. I really could not do anything so I just kept my mouth shut as my ex would not listen to me at all. He thought more of the TV and his car than he did his family. Thank God I have a son who is now married and he has a son and he is no where like that. He is a good father to my grandson. Giving the dog away will not actually solve the problem. There will be something else that will be more important than the family. My son use to tell me that he wished that his friend's dads was his dad. I will always be sorry for the way that my children grew up.
2007-12-05 01:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really did,nt get to alarmed at the situation untill you mentioned the fact that he never pays attention to the kids, I mean if he did prior to getting the puppy It wouldnt bother me, but the mere fact he hardly ever pays attention to the kids is upsetting, and should have been a red flag situation after giving birth to the 1st child, but then you had another? Some men do not like kids, they claim to but dont, so dont think just because these are his children that he likes them, he should, but his actions tell the whole story, you know what they say, trust a persons actions not words, Im a firm believer in this. And his actions tell you how he really feels about his kids, it,s very unfortunate that your kids are now gonna grow up with a dad who,s their in the room but not really their for them, I grew up with a father who was their in a physically, but emotionally he was worlds away, and it hurt, and me and my little brother felt it, he didnt have to say a word, his actions told us different, and you kids will see this to, and they will notice it and they will be effected by it in some way, I can only give you this advise, dont leave the marriage for this reason, but dont have another child with this man! He has shown he would rather spend time with a dog then his own children, how much more evidence does a person need to finally realize he has no desire or need to extend his family? This man doesnt like kids, its as simple as that, he is a sperm donor, he is no father.
2007-12-05 01:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if he never paid attention to them even before the puppy came then chances are he is not going to change. I can't believe he treats the dog better than his own kids. If you talk to him about it and nothing is changing, perhaps you need to try a different approach. Not sure what it could be though! Maybe a counselor, or maybe try to plan things together with the kids and your husband! Like movie night, or taking them to Chuck E Cheese or something to that nature. Just something to get you all out of the house and spending time with one another.
2007-12-05 01:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by nuniestar 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would pack up and leave with the kids. Leave the dog for him. Maybe he needs a wake up call. It's possible, once you're gone, he'll come to a realization about what's trully important in his life. Then again, he may not. If that's the case then you're better off. Your children deserve so much more out of a parent. These are crucial learning years for them. They need all the support and love they can get. You deserve so much more out of a partner.
2007-12-05 01:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by Zoozy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hes a kid traped in a mans body.. every time a kid gets a new dog they play with i for several weeks then leave the dog alone and dont pay attention to it any more. give it a while wait till the dog is not cute and small any more then analyze the situation if he is still attached .....feed the dog grapes and he will die slowly...
2007-12-05 01:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by jessy l 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They call a dog man's best friend for a reason. I don't think there's much you can do but I think that will change once one your kids get into sports or something...he sounds like a rugged man who hides any and every emotion i.e. "never payed attention to the kids" LOL He probably loves the kids more than anything and just doesn't show it.
2007-12-05 01:31:30 · answer #8 · answered by Tiffani 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The puppy is new, the kids are old. It's not difficult to see why he is paying more attention to the puppy. I would recommend having him include the kids in his play time with the puppy. Have all 3 of them play with the puppy when he comes home.
2007-12-05 01:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by suspendedagain300 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ill kill the dog, not really but get rid. If not it gets much worse
He will start buying the dog’s birthday gifts and 4get the kids, miss school events because he was grooming the dog
What kinda foolishness
That’s the thing with fukcing dogs; you get too bloody attached, ill smack him in the mouth
2007-12-05 01:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by tryedirin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋