*****
Call the Doctor!
My eyes are on fire
Flat screen…flat line…
Hands reaching out, skyward,
Loss of voice, rhythm fibrillation,
Blunted gasps gulp at missing air,
Shooting pain, gone asunder,
What is this thing,
This blazing thunder…
“Who put Dave’s Insanity Sauce in my Soup?”
2007-12-05 01:08:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Drink some milk!!!!
Cute! :-)
2007-12-05 01:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by Reenie: Mom of Marine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very nice. I like the suggestion someone made about dispensing with the last line; but for a humorous wrap up, its pretty good.
2007-12-05 01:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by 1985 & going strong 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mayb nt the last line bcuz if u take that out thn it wud jus seem deep n complex leavn the readr 2wondr aftr readn ur poem
2007-12-05 01:12:18 · answer #3 · answered by Babygurl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's called love darlin!
2007-12-05 03:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're having a stroke. I'd call the doctor for you, but I'm busy answering questions on Y!A.
2007-12-05 01:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I like that poem, it has really nice rhyming and the little ending part is pretty funny.:)
2007-12-05 01:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by Alex 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your poem is equivelant to --
stinking garbage, multiplied by two.
2007-12-05 03:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'm not quite sure what may possibly be happening in this poem, but I like the descriptiveness, but seriously, I'd give that a........ 4/10 IDK more or less.
2007-12-05 01:27:03 · answer #8 · answered by Dood mann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My eyes are on fire!LMAO you are good
gulp at missing air (tee, hee!)
2007-12-05 01:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a kind of mentioning sketch. i donot like the topic much
2007-12-05 01:11:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're trying too hard. It's a mess, sorry.
2007-12-05 01:11:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋