im 16 wks pregnant and my mum doesnt kno cause i wanted to get the first scan to make sure it was real. and it said i an 16 wks my mum tried to ban me from having kids till i am 35 but im only 21. how do i tell he without her freaking out i dont wanna lose her or anyone. please help.
2007-12-05 01:07:32 · 27 answers · asked by chocolatebongos 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
just sit her down and tell her the truth. hug her and tell her that you love her. it may also help her to know that her grandbaby and your new baby sibling will grow up being the best of freinds.
2007-12-05 01:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know what?? You're an adult, and you can make decisions and choices on your own -- it is not her place to tell you when to do things, what you can or cannot do or put you on a schedule for how your life should unfold -- SHE needs to be understanding of that. It is also been proven that the older you are when you get pregnant, the harder it becomes on the woman's body, and the higher the risks of miscarriage or premature births are......They say these risks double if you are 30 or over, and the risks continue to grow with every year after 30.........so 35 is just no longer a reasonable expectancy for people to wait to have their first kid --- maybe you could mention that to her to help her be more understanding of younger aged mothers?
I would just be open and honest with her about it -- you are an adult, you can make these decisions for yourself, and even though your her lil baby and i'm sure she doesnt want to see you grow up and have a child already because then she'll feel old (lmao -- this is usually why mothers have issues with their daughters getting pregnant....because their not ready to be grandparents) but I'm sure she will be understanding of it, and even if she is shocked or upset at first, I bet you anything she will snap out of it -- she give her some time to let the shock wear off. Our mothers may not be ready to be grandparents just yet, but once the shock of it wears off, they are oh so eager for their grand babies to be there -- if you just be open with her, and give her some time to realy take in what is going on and have somet ime to cool down etc etc, I'm sure everything will work out just fine
good luck
-mordi
2007-12-05 01:16:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mordi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-30 06:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by mercouri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to be rude here or talk bad about your mom, but....she's going to have to get over it!
Your 21, not 16. Your an adult. If she freaks or gets upset, that's her problem. Her job right now as a mother should be to support you, not be against you.
Tell her maturely and be happy about the baby. If she sees that your scared or worried about being pregnant, she might feel that she can still control the situation, like trying to ban you from having kids till your 35!
This is your baby and your decision. Let her know where you stand.
Good luck to you and CONGRATS ont he baby!!
2007-12-05 01:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mamma of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 21 you are not too young to have children. As long as you are personally happy with being pregnant and confident in your decision your mother should react accordingly. If you come to your mother with uncertainty and behaving like a child asking for her approval she will treat you as such. You have to realize to her you will always be a little baby. And the reason that she wanted you to wait until you were 35 was because she had you quite young. But 14 /15 (when your mom had you) is light years away from 21. Your mom just pushed it to the other extreme with her desire for you to be so much older. For one it is not even healthy to have children at or after 35, you risk much more problems. There is a reason fertility declines after thirty.
You are in your prime time for having a baby. You need to be confident and proud of yourself. Share the news with a smile. Do not seek approval. Your mom will still over react, but when she realizes how happy you are she will understand and accept. If she gets even the slightest sence from you that you feel its a mistake she will not be so quick to accept it.
2007-12-05 01:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by FunkyMonkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my mom were pregnant together. I was pretty mad at her at first because I was having my first child and she was on her fourth and due 5 months after me. I found out because she accidentally called me while she was telling my sister. She didn't plan to tell me that she was untill I had my baby and she was holding her. Which would have made me even madder. It is best to tell her now.
However it is now 3 years later and my brother and my daughter are so close to each other. They always play well together. They get so excited to see eachother.
I was afraid that since I live away from my mom that he would not know me very well while he is younger but he does. He tells mom to call me so he can talk to me. He loves it when we get to go see him. He never wants us to leave. I don't think that I would want to have it any other way.
There may be some hard feelings at first but in the end everything will be fine. Besides your mom should be happy for you. She gets to have a 2 in 1 deal. A baby to keep at home with her and one she can send home. It is almost like having twins. Congrats on your pregnancy and everything wil be ok. Don't stress yourself out over it.
2007-12-05 02:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by mommy to three 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a legal adult in the eyes of the government but your mom tried to "BAN" you from having kids til your 35?? That doesn't make a lot of sense.
You just have to tell her. She is going to notice eventually and the earlier you tell her the longer time she has to get used to the idea.
2007-12-05 01:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by JLM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is just scared for you and has probably always tried to make sure you make the right decisions, right? That's what mom's do! Tell her, and tell her that you hope she can be happy for you. I'm sure she will be. If she loves you as much as I assume she does, she will be happy for you. This is not to say that she may not be shocked and a little upset at first, but give her time.
2007-12-05 01:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by suziq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are an adult you can do what ever you want and I don't understand where she is comming from when she tells you not to have a child till you are 35 whats up with that?Tell her your pregnant and for her to grow up.
2007-12-05 01:19:28 · answer #9 · answered by maryann p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 21. You are a full fledged adult. Tell your mother...she's just going to have to accept it.
Ban you from having kids until you're 35? Is she for real or are you just making that up? She can't ban you from anything.
2007-12-05 01:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just let it come out that u guys can throw your baby showers together and wait and see what she says and then just say MOM I"M PREGNANT. This is like that moving Father of the Bride lol no offense. Congrats I am 19 and expecting my first and my mom has been the biggest support i have had. Great idea to be open and honest with her
2007-12-05 01:12:13 · answer #11 · answered by h0neybee1000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋