Why the nasty comments about drug free labors?

Question

Ok I've been reading alot of questions lately regarding epidurals and drug free labors. And I've noticed alot of comments made to women that are considering drug free births are rather nasty and uncalled for.
" Your not going to win some mother of the year award/medal" (because they choose to not have drugs) or
" You wont be a better mother just because you dont have drugs"

Which I personally think is rather nasty and mean. If someone chooses to have a drug fre birth that is their choice. And obviously they dont expect any medal or award, but have their own reasons for opting for no drugs.
So why they uncalled for comments? Or am I just taking it the wrong way and over reacting?

I dont think any better or any worse of any woman whether she had a drug free birth or had every drug under the sun. We all went through pregnancy and labor to have the precious gifts at the end. So what difference does it make how you handled labor.

Before you go off at me. I did use drugs in both my labors. But I was planning not to.
With my first I did ask for an epi but then backed out of it once they told me the side effects. But used gas during both labors.
I just think everyone has the choice to go through labor the best way for them and no-one should be nasty about how others did or didnt manage the pain.

Answer 1

When people are insecure about their choices they have to attack the other side(s) of the issue because if some other view is right theirs is wrong (or so they think)

The only thing that I object to is women who decide that they will get an epidural no matter whether they are in pain or not and without even attempting to understand the risks. If you want and need an epidural go ahead -but don't decide you will have one just because you can -that's just drug seeking and it is not a good thing to do.

Answer 2

A lot of people, unfortunately, get defensive because they feel judged for having an epidural. When someone says they want a "natural" birth, some feel the implication is that their delivery was somehow "unnatural" because they chose to have pain medication. And yes, there are some advocates of "natural" childbirth that DO criticize women that choose pain medications. They bring up the whole"women have been doing it for thousands of years" argument. Although I bet if you asked someone 300 years ago if she would like something for the pain she would say Yes please! LOL
While most women are open minded about the whole issue there are women that feel they are somehow "better" because they did not get an epidural or they seem to be seeking some special praise. I think this is a small number of women but it puts many people on the defensive about their own choices.

Answer 3

I had a 100% drug free labor and delivery. I didn't even get meds for when they had to stich me up. And I was a level 5.
It's not so much that I look down on women for having meds. I think society has scared women crapless and they feel that is the only way to go. But what society doesn't tell you is all the side effects from the epidural. And how long it can take to get the epidural. I feel if your a big enough women to lay down and get the plessure out of sex than you can handle the pain of giving birth. And the pain is very little.
**my water broke, and my daughter had a bowel movement at the same time at 12:50am, and I was at the hospital by 1:50am, and she was delivered 100% natural by 4:59am. And I only pushed 3 times, which was in a 4 minute period. and by the time I could feel a little bit of pain, she was out, and I was relieved to know I had given birth natural, and I knew what I was doing and saying because I wasn't heavly medicated. And I got to enjoy my daughter after i was stitched up and she was clear from maconium.

Answer 4

I agree. I am planning on a drug-free labor and have been criticized by people here, nurses, co-workers and acquaintances.
I think that having a drug free labor is a choice, just like an epidural or other drugs during labor. It's not the standard anymore, but it is still a choice.
I don't slam people for choosing to use drugs during labor (although if someone asks what is healthiest I will still say that no drugs is healthier, because it is, ask any doctor), I shouldn't be slammed for choosing not to use drugs either.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, I am finding that so many things about pregnancy, birth and babies is very fanatic one way or the other. I am dealing with the same issue as far as breast feeding goes. I don't want to!!!!! Uggghhh....I won't even get going.....I have resolved myself to the idea that as mothers, we will make the choices for our children that we think is best, and that's what we have to go with no matter what some other militant mother who has done it another way says.

I think we all know of plenty of babies that have come out fine after having been under the "horrible effects" of an epidural, the same way I know a few mothers who were overjoyed that they followed through with their plan of no drugs. I don't think this means that someone should be ridiculing you for making your own safe, personal choice.

Answer 6

I think you sound remarkably mature and I agree with you. However, what you are seeing are people who are dealing with their own issues. Some people may have encountered women who were almost militant about no drugs during delivery and made them feel bad about using the epidural. Other women may have tried to go drug free and just couldn't do it, and are actually not trying to be nasty but encouraging. In other words, it's okay to have drugs if the pain is too bad and you aren't a bad mother if you do. They're just not getting the sentiment across because this is all in writing and we can't hear the tone of voice that they're using in their heads.

Answer 7

Here's why I think comments like that are made. There are some very militant natural labor proponents on here and they look down on women who opt for pain relief, saying the baby will be drugged and mom won't feel to push, and other things like that.

So it's actually a reaction to other nasty comments being made!

But I agree with you - the goal is a happy mom and a healthy baby - no matter what kind of birth you have. Every story is different, and no outcome can be predicted.

My goal with each birth has been drug-free labor (for reasons that are important to me) but with 2 of them this was not possible and I don't look back and beat myself up. I've got 3 beautiful children and 3 unique birth stories.

And one on the way!

Answer 8

Believe it or not, we all get an award in the end, whether the birth is drug-free or pain free, whether it is a vaginal or c-section. The award is that sweet little baby. No woman is better than any other based on the type of labor and delivery she has. Every woman endures months and months of growing and nourishing a miracle inside her. As for those who say, "women have been having natural births for thousands of years" my response is "due to modern medicine, not only can we have pain reduced/pain free labors, but we can have healthier babies with much lower death rates for moms and babies" "since you want to compare yourself to a woman giving birth even 100 years ago, do you also want to forfeit the ability to monitor baby's tolerance? what about the vaccines?" To those of you who have had drug free deliveries, congratualtions, to those of you who did receive drugs during labor, congratualtions to you as well, each of you now has a beautiful baby and an interesting labor story.

Answer 9

I agree that it is a woman's choice and they should not be persecuted for making a choice either way. However, I don't think those who say 'You're not going to win an award' (and other things like that) are trying to be mean. My feeling is that they are trying to tell the mother not to feel guilty if she opts for pain relievers during the birth. That's all. Other moms know how guilty moms can feel over every little thing and perhaps they are trying to ease the mom's mind. Just my thoughts.

Answer 10

as a mother who has experienced a c section, a drug free labor and a natural labor with an epidural....

i can tell you that with my first i had an epidural and people treated me like i was an inferior woman. as if i couldn't handle the pain and was doing my child harm by opting for pain relief. i personally never cared, as i am the only one who knew what was best for my body and my baby. i did, however, feel that people were judging me.

i also had a natural birth and i find myself and my husband brag to people about it and have to check myself. the reality is.........i didn't have time for an epidural with my last...i was just to focused. "eyes on the prize" as they say. if i did by god i would've probably gotten one!

it's a struggle. women who have drug free labor want their feat to be acknowledged. mothers who have had pain medication want to feel that birth was just as hard for them as it was for those who have not had pain medication.

i don't think anything is said out of nastiness.....i think that mothers who have had an epidural want other mothers to know that it is no big deal.........and not let themselves suffer. mothers who have been drug free want people to know how easy it can be with support and a good birth plan.

bottom line............it makes no difference either way. it's a personal choice that only you can decide. let's all get along!