Role Model Isn't The Person She Used To Be?

Question

There is this girl at my school, Catherine. She is a year older than me and ever since my freshman year I have looked up to har and respected her.

Catherine has had a hard life (her dad walked out on her and her family after lying about using business trips as an excuse to cheat on her mom as well as go to strip clubs). Cat. found out her sophomore year.

She had always been kind of punk. She dressed like a boy, looked like a boy, and acted like a boy after her parents divorce. I never pictures her as being a girl.

Now Cat. isnt like that any more. She is a very cool, outgoing, happy person and I talk with her a lot at school. She has become my role model now more than ever. I look up to her on a lot of things. But last week i found out from her and from one of my friends that she and her boyfriend have had sex.

Personally, this just changes the way I feel about her. I mean, she always seemed like the one to make wise decisions. It's weird finding things out like that.

I still look up to her (she is a jnr and I am a soph) but it just feels weird thinking that she would do something like that. especially since her boy friend is kind of a jerk.

Answer 1

Your best role models should be your parents.

As far as Cat is concerned, does she treat you any differently now that she's had sex?

If not, then continue to befriend her.

What she did and what you do have nothing to do with each other. Her thing is her thing and your thing is yours.

Answer 2

That is the problem with putting people on pedestals - they fall off!

I can understand why you feel disappointed - have you talked to Cat about how you feel? Maybe she can enlighten you as to WHY she chose to do what she did - doesn't mean you have to agree, but wouldn't you feel better if at least you understood her reason?

Sometimes wise people make unwise mistakes - maybe to HER, it was not a mistake. After talking with her you might find she is changing in a way you really do NOT want to be like - that happens too! You BOTH are young and bound to do different things and like different things - talk with her - tell her how you feel.

Answer 3

Don't look down on her for that. Just learn your lesson from it. Her boyfriend probably used all of the convincing tools men use (I Love you, Prove that you love me, I will leave you if you don't., etc...), in order to get her to sleep with him.

She will learn a valuable lesson from this when she finds out that the jerk just used her. Be there for her, if you can. she is going to need a friend when he breaks her heart.

I will give you some words of wisdom to say to her when that happens:

Whatever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

Time heals all wounds.

What goes around comes around.

Answer 4

"To each his own" isn't that what they say. Don't judge her 4 the decisions she's made.Sure It's probably shocking, but that doesn't mean you have to follow in her foot prints. If you have the will to remain a virgin 'til you're married, that's great!
More power to you and good luck!!

Answer 5

it's hard to realize that role models have lives too. they are human, have needs, and are just like everyone else.
it's not as if she's sleeping around right? you've got to try and see her for who she is, and respect her and her privacy.

Answer 6

she is a human. Keep that in mind tht she cant be a perfect role modle 24/7........
everyone makes mistakes.

Answer 7

no matter what the religious freaks tell you, sex before marriage is not evil, she obviously loved her boyfriend so she had sex with him, your going to have sex one day to you know. keep looking up to her as a role model, she hasnt done anything wrong