Could my husbamd be gay?

Question

I picked up my husbands phone one day and hes best friend had sent him a message that read "Do you suck D!cKs?" Please tell me this is some weird male sentiment and not phone sex. Maybe it was a joke or sarcasm. I also found text messages on the phone bill between them at 5:30 in the morning, my husbands at work by then. And they text each other a lot. Hes also been caught doing things on the computer he promised not to do anymore, so I really don't trust him anyway. Maybe my lack of trust is causing me to see things that arnt there?What do you think?

ok sorry bi sexual.

Any time I ask him anything like this he gets all defensive.

Answer 1

lol, thats just guy stuff, guys joke around with extremely graphic gay messages all the time, because we are all homophobes

Answer 2

Hi Blondie,

That "Do you suck *****?" could have been a provocation or a joke, therefore you should disregard that. Not unless you have other "evidences" that causes you to feel this way. Chances are his friend could be gay or bisexual but it does not mean that your husband should be gay.

Texting each other "a lot", is quite relative. It depends on what is a lot for you. My boyfriend and his best friend text each other a lot and they phone each other a lot. At one point I confronted my boyfriend asking if Luca, his best friend happens to be inlove or attracted to him. I know that their friendship is plain Platonic and there is nothing sexual going on, even if my boyfriend told me things about Luca that really raised my eyebrows.

I have nothing against homosexuals since I have quite a few friends who are homosexuals and they are great people. But my boyfriend confessed that Luca has actually slept with transexuals, men who look like women but have a male sex organ. I know Luca also likes women. The fact that my boyfriend Saverio is completely heterosexual, it's enough to reassure me that they are not sleeping together.

What exactly are these things he did on the computer? If he was browsing on some gay websites, maybe you have a reason for your suspicions. If he was just browsing some usual porno websites, don't forget that a lot of men from age 14 to 90 do this when nobody is watching. When one gets addicted to porn, then that's a completely different story.

8 years ago when I was still in college, I had a relationship with a French Guy. We lived together for a couple of years and I've noticed that he orders gay porno videos , magazines et al from the catalog behind my back. I dismissed the idea saying to myself, "He's simply being French." Then I asked male friends who are also French Nationals whether they think it's normal or whether they do it themselves. They said that straight men never buy videos of men having sex with other men, not in the Netherlands nor in France. Later, when the relationship was coming to an end, I found out that my ex boyfriend had a relationship with our common male best friend (a Chinese guy) even before we knew each other and while we were living together. I intercepted their emails /correspondence. Everything was clear to me by then. I am glad that he is now my ex.

If it's really bothering you then do something about it. Perhaps you should have an open talk with your husband or his best friend, if you know him. That way you will have clear answers from both of them and tell them what is worrying or tormenting you.

But before you decide to talk to them, remember also that a persons lack of trust can cause one to see things that are not there. And lack of faith is very damaging to a marriage or a relationship. But if you strongly feel you really need to confront them, try to be as "diplomatic" and somewhat "sweet" as possible. That way they may not feel like they are facing the Grand Inquisitor.

I wish you all the best.

P.s. I know several gay men who are even in their 50's and up , who are grandfathers already, but have relationships with men 25 years their junior. So being married is not a guarantee that someone is not gay.

Answer 3

as soon as i read that it made me think of the popular F.U.C.(K)
text going around it doesn't mean do u like to "do that" it actually stands for
Friends
U
Can Keep.

so maybe it was one of those texts that are meant to forward to your buddies.



But if it only said "(what you wrote)" then maybe someone gay just has a crush on your husband. and maybe he felt it unimportant to discuss it with you.

did he reply to the message??? if no, don't worry about it
if yes, what did he say? if yes, then uh-oh, if he answered no, or bug off u queer then you should throw those doubts out the window.

after finding out the answers to these questions you should know whether you should trust him or not

Answer 4

I have a lot of male friends that are real jokesters but have never received or wish to receive a message like that from one of them.
I would not jump to conclusions however based on this.

Answer 5

yeah he might be but dont jump to conclusions theres probably a perfectly logic explination

Answer 6

where from u. what is your culture.

if he guy then why he marry to u

but first u talk with him . it is not real. which u think.

Answer 7

Ask him, but do it nicely.
If not he might lie.

Answer 8

If he was gay, why would he marry you then?

Answer 9

talk to him about it.