My husband has a Cousin female who is very rude to me she does not like me...she has made me feel badly on many family gathering and I have not said anything because I wanted to keep the peace, she has also made my family feel bad and when I told my husband to please have a word with her he bruses it off to keep the peace in his family...how do I deal with her with the upcoming holidays.please help
2007-12-03 21:40:38 · 9 answers · asked by girl g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is only a short time that you have to put up with her just be nice and smile at her it will drive her bonkers ~~
2007-12-03 21:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people have behaved so badly for so many years that those around them no longer notice - or they think "well, we've had to put up with it all these years, so why can't everybody?" Your husband's cousin sounds like a very unhappy person who uses her bad manners to try and get attention or feel important. If a person is hurting badly, hurting others can make them feel better for a little while.
Keep your dignity and be very kind and pleasant to her. If she says something rude, say gently "I am sure you don't realise how rude and hurtful that sounded. We're family, and I am sure you don't mean to be rude and hurtful, so please don't say that again."
Don't be drawn into an argument. if she says she was not being rude, just say gently, "Well, I found it rude and I was hurt by it, so please don't say it again." Then if she tries to mock you or make a joke of it, other members of the family may realise that her behaviour isn't acceptable and ignoring it isn't good.
You might also try talking to her about something she loves or is good at. Don't let her belittle you, but show respect and interest in her talents. Maybe nobody else does this for her.
2007-12-04 06:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by Helen M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im also in a similar problem you know this issue has to be disscussed in the presence of elders cause you will always be feeling the pain always so i suggest that you talk to your husband and also make him understand that you dont hate his cousin but wish there could be respect amongst each other bout just keep your peace girl friend the lord is there and his not stupid he hears everyone
takecare yvette
2007-12-04 06:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by yvette w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you don't get along with his neices and nephews...and now his cousin too? I suggest you either start clearing the air maturely between all of his family members that you dislike or you'll soon find yourself among many enemies. obviously keeping your mouth shut is NOT helping keep the peace and you're still bothered so be a big girl and talk to them calmly and rationally yourself.
2007-12-04 05:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by laura1977 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her, don't make the first move to speak to her. If she speaks to you try to give yes or no answers. The important thing is to make her realise she does not matter. You will probably find by not interacting with her or rising to her being rude to you she will feel insecure and find someone else to be spiteful to. Treat her as though she does not matter. You do not need to upset anyone else just ignore her.
2007-12-04 05:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by witchnanny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is called indifference. Don't worry about what she says or does. As long as you are living a happy existance, ignore her ***. If she gets in your face, ask to speak to her in private. Put her *** up against the wall by the neck and choke her up a bit and say "don't you ever mess with me or my kids again. Do this a few times. If she says something about it, deny it! Good luck.
2007-12-04 06:05:17 · answer #6 · answered by forestbythesea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one deadkell.. but seriously I think if he's not going to say anything about it, cut the time you spend w/the family(I mean if your not enjoying yourself anyway) & while you're there just be nice & pretend she'e not even there..thats why she does it..she a big kid: shes doing it 4 attention.
2007-12-04 05:50:13 · answer #7 · answered by caughtup 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would call her up and ask her to lunch. just you two ladies and at lunch i would ask her what you ever did to her that she dislikes you so much. it might be a simple thing. if she just plain doesn't like you (and everyone has some one they just can't stand ) suggest that to keep the peace during the holiday season why don't we call a truce. hopefully she will but if she doesn't just ignore her and be the bigger person.
2007-12-04 06:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a large object ... anything will do ... the more solid the better ... soon as she starts ... slap he upside her head with it ... then explain that it was years of pent up crap that she's been throwin' around that caused you to explode .... and mention that it may happen again in a few years time to is she continues!
2007-12-04 05:44:25 · answer #9 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋