the dad of an eight year old girl that is a friend of mine wants to report me because he says I play with his daughter and I shouldnt the pastor of my church talked to me and told me that he wants to accuse me of sexual abuse and he wants to do it because he doesnt belong to our church and wants to hurt us I dont see the girl anymore because he doesnt let her go to church how much damage could he do?I talked to the mom and she is ok with everything but hes not and I understand and backed off.I care about this whole family and about him because when he used to belong to our church he used to help me alot he gave me a ride home one day when Imissed the bus and I lived an hour away.should I send a letter to him explaining everything?or tell him everything Im thankful for what he did for me and I admire him and like him as a friend and dont want any problems?or even apologize?please give me some advise thankyou.I have prayed and know god is with me I just need a different point of view.
2007-12-03 19:47:09 · 12 answers · asked by Mr.romantic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
there are limits fo how we interact with every person in our lives... children are a special case.. you should have established a very strong adult relationship with her parents first then brought over a nephew or son to play with her, then you could have joined in the fun. Kids need positive interaction with adults who have patience with them, but sometimes as parents we can be very overproctetive.
Maybe this little girl has developed a crush on you and her parents are worried... a little distance should be taken in this situation.
I had a christian boyfriend who loved spending time with little girls to play and talk to them. They were never alone, it was always in their parents presence, and i was almost always there too.
The only problem i saw from this was the fear of the same thing happening to him, as it is happening to you.
These girls ranged from 11-16, and they were always flattered by the special attention they got from my ex. They even got some crushes on him, which quite frankly anoyed the heck out of me because i soon found myself drowning in dirty looks, whispers and gossipy preteens.
I never felt comfortable in these situations, because i was always waiting for the day that someone would suspect something that was not happening.
Now here is the real kicker... i now realize that my ex has a narcissitic personality trait... that is to say that he loves being the center of attention. He lives off what these little girls make him feel. He was very charming with everyone else, except with me.
Now im not saying you have this personality trait, but im just suggesting that maybe you have an uncontrolable urge for attention from younger children. Its in no way sexual, its more like an addiction to admiration. Children are more susceptible to admiring older people... get it?
Heck maybe im wrong....
2007-12-03 19:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he reports you to police for sexual abuse they will immediately investigate. They will talk with the child, may have her examined by a doctor, and do what they can to determine if there is any merit to the charges. If there is any merit you will probably be arrested (depending on the severity of the accusation you could be arrested sooner). If the results of the investigation lead law enforcement to believe that you likely abused the girl, the DA will file for a grand jury indictment. The grand jury will review the merits of the case, and if they think there is enough evidence to support a case against you, you will be formally charged. If you are charged with sexually abusing a child you woud hire an attorney or one would be appointed for you. At that point a trial date would be set. Prior to trial attorney will often negotiate for a plea agreement. If they reach an agreement you will be given the option to take it or continue with a trial. The results of being found guilty for any crime will vary from state to state. Most charges in most states have a maximum sentence. Some even have a minimum sentence. Depending on the type of trial, and the state laws, you could be sentenced by either the jury or the judge.
I don't know how old you are, or whether or not you actually did anything to that little girl, but I will say that you should always avoid spending too much time with children that are much younger than you if they are not somehow related to you or in your care. Having a social relationship with a small child when you are not a small child yourself never looks good, same church or not. I would also leave her dad alone.
2007-12-04 04:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know you are innocent. God knows you are innocent. You have a clean conscience. It is painful and embarrassing to be falsely accused of anything, especially of sexual abuse. The man cannot do anything to you without evidence of some sort. Stop worrying and actually, I believe it is a life lesson to learn to not allow yourself to be in a position of vulnerability. Like don't ever let yourself be in the position where someone could accuse you. It's too bad that this had to happen and I'm sure it is Satan's work. Stay strong in your faith and let the other stuff go. Get busy with your own life. The man will settle down soon enough. He is being over protective of his daughter....maybe he recently heard of something happening to another little girl and he realized he wasn't watching his own daughter closely enough. Honestly, think back, if it weren't you it could have been another guy that was spending that alone time with her and that guy might not have been as clean minded as you. Spend time with people your age and avoid all this in the future. Good Luck.
2007-12-04 03:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by Gottaloveher 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Issue is a bit complicated and could get blown out of control if not handled properly. Best thing is not to do anything at the moment as the more you try, the worst thing could become. For him to accuse you of sexual abuse, he would need to have evidence and witnessess - if you are innocent, then you should not worry too much.
The only thing to do right now is to keep praying and trusting God.
God bless.
2007-12-04 04:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Seng Kim T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"explaining everything"?? If you are falsely accused what is there to explain? or to "apologize" for? the mom is "ok with everything"....what does that mean? Ok with what??
Sounds a little fishy...
Yes if you are accused (falsely or not) of something like that it could ruin your life...it could get in the TV and newspapers...could lose your job, maybe family and if convicted of abuse, face possible jail and a lifetime mark as a sex offender of children...
Probably best not to say any more to him and to get a lawyer who practices criminal law (defense attorney).
2007-12-04 03:54:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer. Write a detailed letter explaining everything while it's fresh in your mind. This letter is just for yourself.
There's something deeper going on with that father.
2007-12-04 04:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy Taylor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some are totally "Blocked Headed".....and can't see anything beyond what they are used to.I just pity such characters.
I feel for you and I understand the miserably sad situation you are in .
For your own good ,as well as , for the good of the 8 year old, Just try to forget it.You can't change the age old stupid preists of any religion.
God Bless
2007-12-04 03:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by bikashroy9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would steer well clear. I would also take some discreet advice from your local police. Just in case the whole thing is blown out of proportion later and this way it'll be documented.
2007-12-04 03:52:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get a lawyer either way.
2007-12-04 03:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a good lawyer.
2007-12-04 04:01:22 · answer #10 · answered by Jeffrey T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋