When it gets real cold at night in the winter...?

Question

...do you worry that your cat will smother you to death while you sleep...?

(Because my cat has been "eyeballin' me" with beady eyes, lately...I don't think my feet are warm enough for her, anymore...)

Answer 1

Listen, you've done the right thing reporting your suspicions....

DON'T doubt your obviously keen powers of perception. It's a distraction you don't need right now. Mark my words ---- Martin Luther king Jr. said it best - "Our lives begin to end, the day we become silent about things that matter". You have taken the first step. Cut yourself some slack.

This killer cat isn't "eye-ballin' you off to get well...you know what i'm sayin'. He, like the others, has very unique, yet sadistic motivation for this shocking act of unsuspecting brutality --- uninterrupted, unlimited, nap time, feeling secure in the knowledge that the lower leg (their preferred bedding) will be available indefinately, whenever and wherever they please, offering infinite contentment, coziness, independence, but most of all...--- outright ownership......of a Human Being's bloodied and badly scratched and lower extremities.

These fickle felines have a very distinct profile. These inconsistencies offer many vital clues, offering enormous insight into the mindset of the suspect. All it will take for you to realise just how lucky you really are following the capture, will be but a single glance.... at one very lucky, completely buffed, perfectly pedicured, cherry red polish wearing phalange. In but a single light-deflecting glimpse, exactly how worth-while this operation has been will become apparent.

It's OK now. Your phalanges will not be subject to any multiple scratch wounds or skin piercing teeth marks any time soon. Any significant threat can be eliminated if you keep prevention plan.

You heed this advice, and your safety will remain secure until Police can get to the scene and apprehend the "Murderous Moggy", taking him into protective custody..
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Your loyalty WILL be rewarded if the following precautions are taken:----

* Be patient.

* I'd advise you to keep your feet encased in bed-socks, to avert impulsive pouncing (obviously the thicker the better...)

* Stay close to the phone (and it's connection...in the event he DOES decide to make an unexpected attempt for your legs, and in fearing for his life...jumps up and with an aggressive pounce disables not oly you, but the cord - a vital communicative link between both parties involved in the capture)

* Remain beadier eyed than him, Don't let him know you are onto him. Play it cool. How? -- Throw his furry mouse toy, -- dangle a ball of Yarn, or -- scratch his belly. Plead for a purrrrrrrr......

* Do that "only Cat lovers in my home", "felines are superior to dogs" charade, putting up posters, telling him how much you adore him and then casually pulling out some extra fish snaps in a false act of appreciation.

* Keep him in view of your watchful gaze. Make it even beadier for effect. Any imminent attack can be diverted.

* If the suspect still remains at large in the backyard garden and surrounding areas, the officers WILL resort to either : forcibly entering the property through a front door or, failing that, an open window.

* Police will sketch a rough game plan they believe, serves in the best interests of the capture. and the resultant execution of the operation. Whatever steps thought to be advantageous to the success of operation "Kitty Kat Kump" WILL be paramount. Back-up squadrons will be on stand-by.

* Keep in mind, the attending officers on the scene, will resort to forcibly entering the property through an open window, failing an initial barrage, at the front entryway.

* Keep on your toes (Weight bearing activity will save us some time...) Not exactly an opportune time for a strike.

The Sunday lunch Heimlich Manouvre (I'm guessing is an unnecessary act of inconvenience, not to mention, so will the physical exertion involved as you come save the day!)

As much as Cat-lovin' Mum-in-Law claims she is willing to put her own discomfort ahead of culling your Kitty...you cannot weaken your resolve. You MUST NOT let sentiment get in the way of justice. There's too much at stake. He will NOT BE CONTENT with a single kill.

The only thing that needs to be disposed of here is not a set of Dentures, but a cat, who the media have dubbed - the "Cozy Dozy Serial Killer" --- killing for Kump. (not so witty pun for comfortable...)



These "Murdering Moggies" are re-knowned "collectors", stashing the miniature bedding (aka human feet and party of the lower leg) under houses, and virtually any area of low Human inhabitance.

One victim is seldom enough.

Believe me, I know those light deflecting eyes are unnervingly beady, but, aim to stay ahead of the game plan, keep your eye on the prize, and set out to beat him at his own game. Your co-operation will be rewarded...Just think....your intuition may have just saved you what's left of your wages.

Ridiculous looking balls decked out in decorative feathers and bells, Kitty-Kat scratch posts, and fake, furry, filthy looking rodents, with a reputation for scaring the the Mum-in-law (into swallowing her false teeth, nonetheless....) --- ALL evicted, and disposed of along with Puss-puss, immediately after being used as evidence.

Extra expenditure, usually forked out on recreational tools for the purpose of Feline fun, can soon be collated, and binned.

Answer 2

Yes. Snuggling under blankets with a special someone in front of a fire on a cold winter night.

Answer 3

I'm not allowed to have electrical blankets in the house... So my dog and cat serve has warmth. The cat gives off more body heat than any animal I've ever known...

Answer 4

I should invent a USB powered portable heated cat bed, plug that to the laptop so that the cat can sleep on the bed with me while I'm on Y/A.

Answer 5

My cat has been moving ever closer to my face in the night as well.

Answer 6

I had a mammoth cat named Tyrone who did just that... his 3 inches of fat and waves of fur weren't enough to keep him warm, apparently... so he had to try and squeeze between my neck and the pillow...

Of course he could only get his nose in just so far, but it didn't keep him from trying.

Answer 7

Cats are interesting creatures. I like to watch my cat, they are so curious. And can be intelligent as well. Don't worry, your cat won't kill you.

Answer 8

No because he sleeps outside.

Answer 9

I dont have a cat.

Answer 10

i dnt have a cat