How do i tell him?

Question

I am 20 and my boyfriend is also 20. We've been together for 3 years now. I'm a college student/server at a resturant. I took 2 pregnancy test that came back positive. How do i tell my boyfriend i'm pregnant? About a year ago i thought i was pregnanct and my boyfriend said if i was he wanted me to get an abortion because we weren't ready to have a baby. Well Now it's a year later and i am pregnant. I'm really nervous about telling him because i don't want to have an abortion, and i'm afraid he will want me to get one. What to do? Oh and i was on medicine that counteracted with my birth control, so thats how my pregnancy happened.

Answer 1

I would tell him like it was the best news you had ever gotten.
Act really excited and talk about the baby, like the baby is a good thing not a problem

As for the person who said if you really love him you'll have an abortion, what B.S..
If he really loves you, then he will step and take responsibility for his action, his, women , and his child. And not expect you to kill your baby.

Bottom line it is your child, and in your body so I would hold your ground and let him know that abortion is not an option.

My guy was taking back when I found out I was pregnant, our doctors said it couldn't happen, he didn't say much at first but then I started spotting at 6 weeks when we went to the E.R. they did an ultrasound and we saw our baby's heartbeat. He cried, and then he said how could anyone ever have an abortion? My baby has a heart ..

After that moment he has been the best Daddy to be possible,
he just finished building our son a nursery.
I am 39 weeks 5 days right now and we are both so excited.
sometimes the best gifts in life are the ones you don't plan but the ones god gives you .
Good luck

Answer 2

Firstly, I'd go to the doctor to make sure you're definitely pregnant. If that is definitely the case, you have no option but to tell him. Broach the subject gently, in the privacy of your own home. Try and sound as calm and rational as possible when you tell him. I know you're worried about this, but the more scared you sound when you tell him, the more likely it is that he'll mirror this. If this was a year ago, there's nothing to say that he hasn't changed his view on this situation. If he hasn't changed his mind and isn't ready for a baby, you have to be willing to accept that this is his view and his decision as much as yours.
He can't tell you to have an abortion; he has no right over whether you keep your baby and he can't force you to do anything you don't want to. You have to remember though, that while an abortion is never an easy option, you are in college and a baby will completely change your life. If you wish to keep the baby above everything else, obviously there are options for young, student mothers.
I'd say the best thing for you is to tell him as calmly and rationally as possible, and allow him as much time as he needs to digest the information. People react very differently to actual situations rather than hypothetical ones, and if you choose to keep your baby, he might be able to manage the situation.
Don't forget that there are options! Remember that if you decide to have the baby, you can still let another couple adopt him/her. There are a lot of loving couples out there who have fertility problems, etc that would absolutely love to adopt your baby. If you decide to keep the baby yourself, you need to discuss what this would involve - financial situations, who would help you raise the baby, etc.
Remember that this isn't a completely hopeless situation, and that you have a LOT of options available to you, so bear this in mind if you start to really fret.

Best of luck, I hope everything works out alright for you.

Answer 3

Tell him you are ready to take your relationship to the next level-marriage. You want a commitment! You want to know that this is for REAL! Ready or not. Then after you talk about this.....let him know that it is time! Look into his eyes and put his hand on your tummy. Don't speak let him do the talking. Just listen ....even if it hurts you.....let him rant or get upset. Tommorrow is another day. He may need time to weigh it all out. However, ALL that he has created in the last two years is sitting right in front of him. He will realize this later. Just let it ride. For props you can set up some framed baby-photos of the both of you in the living room.

Answer 4

I was reading thru some of the answers. DO NOT GET AN ABORTION IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO!!!!!!!!! I don't care, you can still love him, but you have a baby to care for now. You don't just give up a baby for anyone. That baby will be there for you when he bails, not saying he will. You will regret it for the rest of your life If you don't want an abortion. Please think about this before getting an abortion for anyone.
I know that's not what you were saying you are going to do, like I said I just read one of the answers and Had to put my 2 sense in.

Answer 5

I would just come out and tell him. Give yourself a couple of days to get use to it and you can decide what you want to do and how you feel about things. When you talk to him remember you have had some time to get use to the idea of having a baby give him some time to. I have to tell if it were me (although I would listen to what he had to say ) but if you want this baby you should have it I dont think men understand how some women already form attachments to the fetus even early on. You guys could make it work. I have to say you are never ready for a baby true sometimes are better then others but you have to do what is right for you . good luck

Answer 6

You say babe..I got some news...please try not to freak out on me but this is how it is. The damage is done hun! My man hung up on me when I called and told him and then called me later and apologized which I understood. He was mad and we did have an abortion. Take it from me...don't do it! It's way too sad and actually even though they say "oh it's a safe procedure" there are complications that can happen after. I now have a medium cyst on my right ovary that hurts me every month. My step sis had an abortion done about 2 months after I did, and the same doctors who did mine did hers in Bakersfield, CA they didn't get all of the baby out of her. I took her to our ER where we are from and she ended up needing another D&C done. Very sad and scary. She has a slight infection and a fever because of it. We caught it just in time.
Don't do it if you don't have to. It's life...work with what you got. God has given you life..go with it.

Answer 7

You just tell him. Prepare for him to be angry. Tell him you don't want to have an abortion, and discuss the options. It's possible that you can give up your child for adoption, which will make a childless couple very happy and allow you to continue your relationship as well as go to school. Otherwise, be prepared that he'll dump you and won't want to take responsibility. Also, in the future, if you stay with this guy, you should insist that he use condoms in addition to birth control, because you don't want to use abortion as a backup method.

Answer 8

this is kinda ruff.. because you've had already a reaction from him. and it was not satisfactory. but things might have changed. you both are very young, still, but you've known each other for a while. so, after all, it is your decision. it is your body.
make a doctor's appointment, and in the mean time, start asking him about thinking of having a baby... see his reaction. put it in a different perspective and do it again a few days later. this way he will have time to think about a possibility of becoming a father. men usually are afraid of responsibility, and afraid of sudden change in their life routine. that is why it is important to take it slow, and tell him bit by bit. by then, u should have the doctor's visit. to know for sure, for sure. again, it is your decision after all. you say you are afraid of his reaction. but have you thought thoroughly of what a baby means- to you? are YOU ready to become a parent. because if you have a drive to go through with this, then, with or without a dad, you will make it. and let's put the "worst" ahead. if he says he is not getting involved, then, you will be a single mom. and yes, there are "downs" to it, but "ups" too. better be a single mom, than with a father that is being a jerk. i say, better a happy single mom, than a sad wife and mom.

go to the doctor's office with a good friend, to keep you company.
and maybe for Christmas, tell your b/f that Santa is bringing the Stork in about 9 months. so he needs to ask Santa for a HUGE WEDDING RING. whisper in his ear: "every kiss begins with KAY"

hugs and hopes for happiness!

Answer 9

Well, you just have to be perfectly honest and understand that if he blames you, he's not worth it. Sex is a two way street and no man should ever be able to try and pawn the fault on the woman.

If you want this baby and actually think you can handle the responsibility (financially, physically and mentally) then I say go for it. Don't let him talk you into doing something you don't want to do. Especially something that will effect YOU for the rest of your life, not him.

I hope everything works out for the best, good luck!

Answer 10

Dez, the best approach is to take your boyfriend to your local courthouse and get a marriage license. Then over to the clerk of the court and get a marriage certificate. If he asks why you want to do this tell him you've been dating 3 years and you want to get married and have a family even though you are still in college. Tell him you are tired of introducing him as your boyfriend but want to introduce him as your fiance, husband, and father of your unborn child. If he hesitates or says no, then get a DNA sample from him (Silvia, blood, semen, hair, etc.) and put in a baggy in your freezer. Then tell him you are about to have his child and you expect him to step up to the next level, which is the level of fatherhood. You expect this before your child is born. Tell him abortion is not an option. Do this tomorrow!